Bullock Family

2012-01-07T00:17:00.001-06:00

Minivan Mayhem Myth #2

2011-11-10T11:11:00.006-06:00

"Single Girl Mayhem"

My name is Jen. I am 24 years old and I drive a Ford Focus...no minivan...no car seats...no kids.

When I first heard about Minivan Mayhem, I thought it sounded like such a great group that I grabbed a stack of flyers and started handing them out to all of the moms I knew. When one of the leaders of the group asked me if I was going to join, I asked, "Am I allowed to?"

It turns out that acceptance into the Minivan Mayhem group doesn't require having kids or even a minivan. All it requires is a hunger to know more about God. As a recent Christian, I had so many questions about God, the Bible, and how to live life as a Christian. I knew reading and knowing God's word was important, but every time I opened my Bible, I felt so confused. Minivan Mayhem has changed my anxiety about the Bible into excitement. I can't wait to study this book for the rest of my life!

What is Minivan Mayhem? It is a place where I can ask any question and get answers from people who care about my spiritual walk and care about me. It is a place where I have friends and mentors whom I know I will spend time with outside of our weekly meet up. It is truly a place where the unity and love that Christ calls us to have for one another can be seen and felt.

So don't get hung up on the minivan part! Focus on the the mayhem...for that is something I am certain we all have in our lives, for which Jesus is the only cure.

Minivan Mayhem Myth Busted...............

2011-11-05T05:50:00.011-05:00

Myth #1 "You have to be a biblical scolar in order to do Minivan Mayhem."

As I walked through the doors at Bethel Community Church in September, I was a nervous wreck! I was embarrassed and ashamed of what I didn’t know. I was scared that I was going to be judged about my past and lack of relationship with God. I have two beautiful boys and thought I was a pretty great mom, but I wanted to be the best mom I could be and Jesus was the one area I couldn’t give my children the answers. As I walked through those scary doors (as I thought) it wasn’t so scary after all. The church was filled with all sorts of women from beginners (just like ME) to very knowledgeable women who have followed Jesus from the time they were children. As we meet with our small groups each week, we not only discuss the Bible and what we have learned, we have also become friends. I LOVE my small group women. Each one of us has walked a different path that led us to Minivan Mayhem, but we all have a similar goal, to learn more about Jesus and discipleship. My small group not only meets on Tuesdays, but we have also met for coffee, lunch and to exercise. In just a few short months I have made 6 great new friends and I thank Jesus for them.

If you are a beginner, like me, we would love for you to take this journey with us. If you have something inside of you, telling you to sign up, that my friend is Jesus. He is speaking to you. 1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

More Mayhem a Coming.....

2011-11-03T12:44:00.003-05:00

Hey friends, it is your long lost blog author who is still snowed under with the Mayhem of the Minivans leaving little time to get on and chat. My biggest fear has been that my fam would be neglected as I am off discipling women. The good news is my blog and not my family has been neglected which as much as I miss you guys I am pretty sure this is what is best. I wanted to let everyone know that registration for the spring semester will be opening on the blog from December 1st-January 6th so please keep us in your prayers and if you are a local gal please pray and see if this is something for you for this upcoming spring. More details to come I assure, along with some awesome testimonies from some current Mayhemers. God is rocking our worlds each and every week and I am beyond humbled and honored to be a part of such an amazing group of crazy Jesus followers that are bound and determined to go into all the nations and make disciples. For any of you that miss the old style Kelly Blogs I PROMISE to blog again with lots and lots and lots of pics of our sweet babies. This is just a season where I am having to prep intensely each and every week and this season soon too will pass. I love you all and I thank you for any prayers and love that you offer!

K

I'm BACK!!!!!!!

2011-10-05T10:39:00.002-05:00

Hello dear friends (a/k/a the 5 readers I have left after my blog sabbatical). I will say I have good excuse as Minivan Mayhem was more of a task to tackle that I ever expected but let me say too the fruit is worth every ounce of gardening that took place. These ladies are rocking and rolling for Jesus and it is contagious to witness. They are soaking up the Word, pouring out in community and building each other up in ways I never dreamed. It has hit me lately that every ounce of spiritual growth I have ever had has been from the Word and the encouragement of other believers. It is not complicated to grow spiritually, it is just work. It is work to make it each week, work to be open and not give a hoot what anyone thinks of you once you are. It is work to get your kids, house, and life organized yet all the while keeping Christ as number one. It is work to say no to things and to rework your schedule, it is work to feel sick and tired yet reach out and serve. BUT OH HOW IT IS WORTH IT!!!!!

On another note, I thought I would share with you guys some very deep and theological thoughts from our new family of four since I have been gone for so long, just to make sure we are digging into the intense depths of life. So here we go........

GIRLS "NEED" a LOT of Shoes....For the love of Jesus, boys need church shoes and tennis shoes (who cares what color they are). Girls need shoes, tights, bows and white underwear just in case you can see through. It has been a bit exhausting dressing a girl, but somehow I am managing.

I have had NO problems feeling attached to my adopted daughter. I know many people want to ask that question but don't know how so I just wanted to go ahead and throw that out there just in case. I can give you many examples but here is a recent one just to show you a visual. We were at the park and I was talking to someone and had one eye on my kiddos. I noticed this little boy really bullying Mercy. I withheld the first time and let her "hold her own" but the next time he put both hands on my daughter's arms she started crying........well you know how that goes. You walk over telling yourself not to do all the things you are visualizing (like ripping the 5 year old's arms right off at his shoulders). I was very polite and gave him the look like "you touch my daughter one more time and I'll take you down little kid" and said "honey let's play nicely with each other, come here Mercy girl, Mommy will handle it". I thought to myself that day, you may have been hurt numerous times in that orphanage and it went unnoticed but now you have a MOMMY and I will take down anyone that even thinks about hurting you dear one. It felt SO good to rescue her and it made me think about how our Sovereign Father feels the exact same way about us.

Next in our deep theological discussion is cute things we are saying these days. Cross says "he ate it all" like when he is all done with his stickers. I told him today, "honey we say we used them all" but I kind of like it when they mess words up. He is turning 4 in a few short months and that is certainly a reality check that they DO grow up and that it IS sad. Onto Mercy girl, she L O V E S her preschool and her teachers. They (the teachers) have been in trouble for spoiling her rotten but who on earth could blame them. She says super cute things too like "Thomack the train" and "Mercy's birfday is all over". She is ALL caught up with her English and now knows 99 percent of her letters and their sounds. She is reaping the benefits of having an older brother.

Well, that about sums up our study for today. I promise to write more later but for now I am afraid if I don't hit "publish post" soon it may take another 4 months to write again. God has been and is being very good to the Bullock family. It is all grace, we don't deserve even the smallest of gifts. I pray that we never ever fix our eyes upon this earth, that somehow we always have our eyes on Heaven!

Because of Him,
K

A Quick Chat........

2011-08-28T20:30:00.004-05:00

Hey gang, just a quick update and YES Minivan Mayhem really is starting THIS Tuesday so I will happily take about one million six hundred and thirty one thousand prayers! One foot in front of the other is where I am today and that is probably best. It will all be Jesus, no doubt about that. Also, my sweet Daddy had a pretty major surgery on Friday and his wife (my step-mother) is having some serious health issues as well so please keep them in your prayers. And then finally, MY MAN, oh good golly, there is no prouder wife on the face of this planet today than this gal. I am beside myself with his focus and bravery to go into all the nations and make disciples. If you would like to follow his journey you can do so at http://ordinaryheroblog.blogspot.com/. One of the team members will be blogging the entire trip so you can literally tag along. I honestly have about a hundred or so blogs rolling around in my head since Minivan Mayhem registration has taken over for such a long time but I have a few things on my plate that are demanding some attention this week so until I can have a writing party we will all watch closely to see some "ordinary" heroes hard at work. I feel a bit like I have NO IDEA what all Jesus is up to in the Bullock household but I'll tell ya this, it is MUCH more exciting than the life I beg to have! Have a glorious week friends!!!!!!!

K

Minivan Mayhem....

2011-07-31T14:27:00.002-05:00

****Registration has closed for Minivan Mayhem****

Bullock Family UPdate......

2011-07-28T07:08:00.006-05:00

Hey guys, we are certainly trying to leave MM at the top of the list for the next few weeks but I just had to get on and say hello. I am doing one of those posts where I have about 1,000 things I should be doing but I am overwhelmed so I shut down. When that happens I like to do something like blogging which can be tied in a nice publish post bow and all is well with the world for a bit. I feel caught up in at least one portion of life. I know this is an illusion but let's just enjoy it for now.

So, what are we up to these day and I promise pictures too because I read a blog the other day about a certain twin birthday party and there were NO pictures and I was so sad and thought I would try not to repeat such a sin. So here goes.....

J, good looking as ever and just about to hit the road to Ethiopia to serve a slew of people which in turn makes him just about the sexiest man on earth and I get to be married to the man. THAT is grace my friends. You will not waste one single prayer on this trip as we (I am trying to be his side kick on the planning of things) have literally what feels like a jillion things to do between now and then. God has graced the trip already so I have no reason on earth not to trust Him. It is just difficult to plan for a third world country where they will see more needs than they can ever remotely meet. Type A doesn't work well there either and we happen to be a family of them so just pray for us to "let go and let God". I always thought that was a bit of a dorky saying but it seems to fit here perfectly.

Ok, K (me), God currently has me out on a limb holding on for dear life and I am just praying (and begging) that He will come through and save my rear. I like to have my to-do list all nicely marked off at least once a month and until this ET trip is over and MM is up and running, that is not humanly possible. I have more to do and no hopes on earth of ever getting it all done unless God comes through and does an amazing miracle. I will say this, I am bound and determined not to keep any of this from me raising my sweet babies so that is one priority I have actually kept. We are hitting the road this week, just the three of us, to do one last summer hoo-rah before it comes to an end and I may have to say "no" to a lot of things but it ain't gonna be them! I mess up every single day in the littles but one of my greatest prayers is to not miss the bigs. I wanna date my man and love on these babies and spend time not just serving but loving my Jesus and the rest will all fall into place.

Now on to Cross, could the boy be any more handsome....I think not. We shaved his head again a few nights ago and he is now an 8 year old and more than I can bare. He needs about 8 hours of physical activity a day and I need about 1 so prayers there will be taken as well. We had an awesome time at the beach and I saw just how much he thrives when he can get ALL of that boy energy out. I will include those pics as well. He and M are both absolute fishes and had the best time ever.

And last but not least, Mercy girl. There are honestly no words and I could get choked up just trying to type. We are starting her immunizations this week and she got a perfect report from the doctor. She is an angel. She did amazing on vacation. Never really phased her that we were off-site and off schedule for an entire week and she thought the sand and the ocean were both amazing. I will take this moment to brag just a bit. She had never even seen a swimming pool 4 months ago and on vacation she swam 1/2 the length of the pool, under water, all by herself, no floaties. I was in shock and just about the proudest mama in the whole wide world. She is really a princess in every sort of way. She turned 3 this month so certainly pics and the girl opened presents for an hour and then looked for more. Americanized for certain.

So that in a nut (literally) shell is the Bullock Family. It will probably be after this crazy month comes and goes before I will get to say hi again but in the mean time please update your blogs (hint hint) and add pics (more hints) and pray for us and share Minivan Mayhem with all the local ladies that you know and keep in mind that you are the greatest friends a gal could have. We are BLESSED beyond measure!

K

Happy 3rd Birthday Mercy Girl....

2011-07-12T05:54:00.003-05:00

Hello Blog Friends, I just had to get on and add one more post as I know time will get away and this could very easily never happen. However, I think it simply must happen and it must happen on this blog because most of you have paved the way in prayer and support for this sweet girl to come to our home and I want to use this post as another THANK YOU! Thank you for every prayer and every dollar. I am still amazed at God's grace.

Last night as we sat and ate dinner I became so emotional watching Mercy eat. That is a BIG deal for a starving child, food. When I first spent time with Mercy in a guest house in Ethiopia as I visited for court, she looked and acted like an orphan. She would "beg" for food with her eyes. She would eat and eat and eat anything I put in front of her. She would awake every morning and look into my eyes as if today I might say no to food. It crushed my heart then and it crushes it now even as I type. But not last night, last night my girl chattered and ate and said it was good and smiled and laughed and talked and said "fork and spoon and plate and eggs and bread and chocolate and potatoes". She drank from her sippy like she owned this house and she then politely said "all done mommy" with a good heaping of potatoes still on her plate. Oh how my heart danced. In just 4 short months of being home my baby girl is NOT an orphan any more. She is a child of God (she was then but now I think she is starting to know it). She is a Bullock girl, she is a princess in all ways and in all forms. She is our pride and joy, she is finally free.

So in 48 short hours, Mercy girl will get the day of all days, her very first ever birthday. Her birth mother did not know her actual birth day. She didn't keep track because in those dark conditions there would have been nothing to celebrate with, but what her mother did know was her approximate age, 2.5 (at the time of our meeting). So it was with great honor and joy that we got to chose her birthday and in keeping with her age it fell perfectly (as God Himself could only allow). Her Birthday is the exact day I first laid eyes upon my child. So we plan to spoil her rotten, we plan to have cupcakes numerous times throughout the day and we plan to throw her a party and let her open 101 presents and I am certain that her eyes will forever tell it all.

So Happy Birthday Mercy Girl, one year later and my my have things changed. Your Mommy and Daddy love you more than life itself and your precious brother will never remember life without his forever side kick. We love you and we are honored you are ours!!!!!!!!!

I just had to throw in a few more pics, this is Mercy and Mommy on a date Friday night. She sure does look like a princess if I do say so myself!

A Quick Hello

2011-07-10T19:59:00.009-05:00

Hello Dear Friends,

I wanted to say a quick hello because sometime, hopefully sooner than later, Minivan Mayhem will take over the Bullock Family Blog for a bit and I won't be able to say hey as sign ups will certainly be underway. I wouldn't turn down a single prayer for this venture as I had completely forgotten what a start up takes out of you. I think God had me forget so that I wouldn't run for dear life. I am also getting ready for a much needed vacation get-a-way and I am planning to UNPLUG from everything else but my family. I want them all to myself, not sharing them nor them having to share me and I wanna laugh and play and read and pray and think and NOT DO LAUNDRY! hahhaha

The Bullocks haven't been "busy" in several years as life has been so much at what seemed like a stand still. Now I feel like I would pay a small fortune for a stand still and I am praying this vacation will be a taste. On top of MM launching in August my good looking man is taking a team of 10 back to Ethiopia so that is no small task on our plate as well. I am not going with them due to two small fries that need their mama right now, but I am helping with some admin stuff so I still feel like I am a part. I will certainly be a jealous mess when they board that plane without me. How true that it gets in your blood, I miss the smell (even when it is bad) and I miss the people more than I can explain. I am so proud of my man and the other members of the team who are obeying Jesus and going into the Nations with the love of Christ. Please pray that his entire journey is anointed and that God will go before them 100% of the way.

I've had cute blog posts in mind with adorable pictures all grouped in themes but the realities of this thing called life will be a random smorgasbord of snapshots but none without proof of God's great grace on this family. We are blessed beyond measure, our cup is running over, and we are amazed at how much greater God's plan is than our own. Today as we ran around getting ready for church I laughed and thought to myself as J said "skip the ironing", my my have things changed. When I had Cross I wanted to dress him up and color coordinate our family. He quickly ruined that by spitting up on everything. Today I am always tempted to do the same, but someone may pitch a fit right in the middle of the road or hurl a sippy through a crowd and I am constantly reminded no one likes those families anyways.

Our family may not be a lot of things but we are hopefully always going to be real. We are real sinners who were in great need of a Savior and we have two babies who are also real sinners greatly in need of a Savior. Hopefully our walk with Him will always be my greatest plea and hopefully I'll skip the matching, outrageously priced wardrobe, along the way. Those things are fine as long as they don't compete with our focus for the hurting, the hungry and the ones in need, the ones 1/2 way across the earth and the ones right here in our back doors. May we always serve the King that so graciously saved our tails!

K

Our baby girl dancing the night away at a wedding...

This double stroller is our new bff...

Mercy girl's first 4th of July...

BLAST Ball...

It's almost here.......

2011-06-28T03:04:00.003-05:00

Good Morning Blog World,

I write to you this early Tuesday morning accompanied by my sweet dog who may just have a complete and utter nervous breakdown before these summer storms are over. I am getting picky these days and being up in the middle of the night, often, WITH A DOG, is not my cup of tea, a newborn maybe, a newly adopted toddler maybe, but a dog, not so much. I have medicine to give her but often times I don't know the storm is coming and by the time the medicine takes affect (or is it effect) the storm has come and gone and we are all WIDE AWAKE to prove it.

There is a life lesson tied in there for certain but this is certainly not why I was getting on to write; I was writing to chat about the blog's fancy overnight makeover. I, by no means, can take a lick of credit. Almost 100% of the time if I have something going on in the design world that is the least bit impressive it is because God has graced me with amazingly talented friends and nothing could be truer in this situation.

We are gearing up for the launch of Minivan Mayhem and certainly had to bring the blog along for the ride. I am dying to give you guys 101 details, but until everything gets ironed out I want to leave you with a video that ever so perfectly depicts exactly what we desire to do with this crazy discipleship group for women that is starting this fall called Minivan Mayhem. Just watch the video and envision the very girly version but overall what we desire to be. Basically, if you want to know Jesus more, and you live anywhere near Clarksville, TN, this may just be a group for you. I am one big combination of honored, excited, and scared half to death, so if you are a reader and you are far from here and unable to participate I would just about go as far as to beg for some prayers in the months to come. But if you are a local and thinking this may sound like something you are interested in know that we will have sign ups and more details ready to rock and roll in just a few weeks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtzxnY9Yob0&feature=related

Well, now that everyone is nice and CALM I guess I sould try to crawl back in bed and catch a few more hours of sleep before my very own personal minivan mayhem begins again. I love you guys and thank you beyond words for reading the writings of this poor, saved by the blood of Jesus, kind of gal!

Because of Him,
K

I had it in my head...............

2011-06-21T05:31:00.006-05:00

Good Morning Blog World! I have had a little thought swirling around in this mommy brain for a week or so now and that usually means I need to make time and get on and share. I personally love a revelation from the Lord, even sometimes when it is convicting, because it still helps all of this crazy life seem to make a bit more sense and to me that is never a loss. I was also remined a few days ago from the various texts I got throughout the day from a dear friend just how UP and down life can be and how much we need all the revelation we can possibly get.

Ok, so on to the topic at hand, a week or so ago I had the glorious privilege of taking a road trip to the big city of Louisville, KY with some dear friends. I got to have one of my most favorite treats on earth and that is road-trip girl-talk. To me there is really nothing better (well I do enjoy road trip hubby talk as well). You have hours and hours to hear every one's entire life story. If you don't have kids with you it is like a 3 hour uninterrupted phone conversation and any mom out there (or pour soul trying to chat on the phone with a mom) knows that NEVER happens. You can tell the whole story, details and all, not just the shortened version. You can focus because there is nothing else pulling at your attention, other than an occasional GPS mishap that is. To me it really is the best.

One of the sweet girls on our journey was telling a story of how she had experienced something so many of us know full well, life, our idea of what it would be verses the sometimes sobering reality of what it in fact really is. Along the way she coined a term that I just cannot get out of my thoughts. She said, "I had it in my head...". Nothing deep to the average Joe, but to me that day God made that the most profound phrase ever. It was like God had shined a spotlight, used a heavenly highlighter, and said to me "this is your problem with a lot of things in life Kelly, you had it in your head".

I don't know about you guys but I am problem solving junky. I am really NOT the gal to come to just to vent, I wanna HELP. I wanna solve your problem, find a solution, fix it quickly and move on with life. I usually run as if every trail in life is one good solution away from disappearing. I have a doctor or a book for just about anything and my (not so) glorious advise on life very often carries over into my relationship with the Lord. I GET IT IN MY HEAD all the time what He should do, how He should fix it, how He could make everything all better. And with this very annoying tendancy I am frequently let down because God didn't react how I thought He should, He didn't perform how I thought would be best, He didn't do the miracle I had it in my head that He should do.

So as I sat down to type this a.m. the Lord instantly gave me a verse and so I had to also share with you because SURELY I am not the only one out there with this need to fix everything ailment. It's one we hear all the time, one we see written on wall hangings and such, one we probably know by heart but God is showing me not by head. Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING (whatever you had in your head) and in all your ways acknowledge Him (the maker of the Heavens and the earth) and HE will make your path straight. (Emphasis mine, hahhaha)

I felt like God was saying to me, every time you have something in my head, even when you think you prayed and I led you that way, when things don't work out like that in your reality, lean not. Lean not on your own understanding, remember I am BIG, my ways are not your ways. I do have a plan, a solution, and quiet honestly it is much better than yours, thank you very much. Just TRUST IN ME!

So with that said this average everyday a.m., what do you have in your head? What do you have in your head to the point that you would be darn right annoyed with God if He didn't cause it to be in your reality? I usually keep a pocket of several but I would love nothing more this morning than to just lay them ALL down. I would love it if I could get to the point that I didn't demand God to perform how I had in mind, over the big as well as the little. When someone gets a cold and my day doesn't go as planned or when 4 years of my life seem to be an insane roller coaster I never ever saw coming, may I lean not and trust in. He is BIG, we are little, He is really smart and all knowing, we only pretend to be, He HAS OUR BEST INTEREST AT HEART, we have our selfish interest in mind. I would love to look back in 5 years and have actually been more trusting in Him and less trusting in me. I would love to not always need to know why or have a great solution ready to share. I would love to watch HIM work out the details and see the glorious benefits of staying out of the way. How about you guys? Pray for me and I'll pray for you!

K

Minivan Mayhem...A Discipleship Group for Women

2011-06-10T16:52:00.005-05:00

HELLO Blog World along with something I don't say very often around here, Good Afternoon! I am usually always a morning gal, but today as I write from a cozy spot preparing to work on something God is nudging me towards I somehow just cannot begin before saying hello to you. I have not thought once about when I would share with you guys this calling God has placed on my heart, maybe I thought whenever the heck I got time enough to sit down and chat!?!? Honestly, for so long it has felt so very far off that there was no need to mention, but now as I type it is truly sinking in that it is THREE short months away and kind of really TWO but we won't dwell too much on that fact or I will have to exit the blog and get to work.

So...in a nut shell, God has been showing me a very specific calling He has for me as well as a place where the body of Christ just really struggles and that area is in discipleship. We "love" on people, we "mentor" people, but do we really ever intentionally disciple them??? I have never been intentionally on the receiving or the giving end of that and as I sat and thought I honestly did not know very many people who had. So through that realization came something I believe God has called me to start in the Fall of 2011 and that is "Minivan Mayhem, A Discipleship Group for Women".

In M&M we are going to learn how to intentionally disciple women and be intentionally discipled all at the same time and in the mean time attempt to "teach the older and the younger women" as Paul charges in the 2nd chapter of Titus AND THEN somewhere along the way I am praying we will laugh our heads off, build life long relationships, and for Pete's sake do real life together with a few women instead of just saying hello on Facebook Chat-guilty-. People are messy and so we avoid them, the Bible is complex so we avoid it, but Christ esteems them both very highly and so I think it is time we all start digging in and I include myself first and foremost in that challenge.

So here I am, tucked away for a 24 hour work day for Minivan Mayhem. My own personal mayhem makes it a bit difficult to hone in and focus so this fine (kid free) space is doing wonders to put everything at ease. Please pray for me that God would speak to me this weekend and direct this path. It is all His, all at His feet, He will receive all the honor and glory because Lord knows if the thing gets pulled off it will certainly all be Him and nothing of me. I want to be His tool. I want women to be victorious, to know the Word, to know how the heck to make a grocery list and most of all to know the intensely intimate relationship of their Savior. He is everything and we are sitting in a community while drawing closed our garage doors, and all the while we are right beside hundreds of thousands of hurting women, needy women, and women who are dying to do this thing called life with victory but don't have a clue where to begin.

I have so been (and am really) one of these women, in the area of parenting especially. Many of us grew up in the anit-home economics era and I most days haven't the foggiest of even where to begin with two toddlers. I had big plans in banking you know, but God had others and it will take some "older women" even if just by a year or two to show me the ropes. We are going to dive into the Word and figure out how the heck to avoid a poppy diaper disaster all sometimes in the same day.

So with that, there will certainly be more to come, opportunities to sign up, the ol' who-what-when-where-why and how are in the works. I've certainly gotta get to work just in case someone actually decides to show up! I know I am in a constant state on this blog begging for prayer and sadly I am not going to stop now. Pray I don't get even my pinkie toe in the way of this thing. Pray if it is not Jesus that it flops flat in front of my face. Pray that if it is Him that it will be a great ministry to our wonderful city of Clarksville. Pray it will reach military wives as well as the good ol boys of Clarksville's significant others (that's where I would be I guess so not at all knockin) and everyone else in between. WE ALL NEED JESUS, either way! I love you guys and so long, there are details to be done!

Because of Him,
Kelly Bullock

Good Summer Morning Blog World..............

2011-05-27T05:22:00.005-05:00

I am writing you from my special spot on the couch this a.m. My sweet family and I are officially on vacation and I just couldn't leave town without saying hello. We have the honor and privilege of traveling to Atlanta this weekend for the wedding of a sweet gal whom we consider her and her entire family to be some of our dearest friends here on planet earth. They live long and far away so when it was announced that the wedding was a short trip to Atlanta, we all knew it was a must that we would attend. This vacation for me seems to mark another step out of the wilderness land. My word this year from the Lord was "party" (that could be a whole other post for another time) and I plan to have a wonderful celebration this weekend with my dear friends, with my precious family, and with my King. He really likes weddings you know! I feel like we can see Canaan in the near and distant future, but we are still far enough away that it is taking faith to actually get there. I can't wait until the land is fully underneath our feet to the point that we can feel the sand between our toes as we take hold of the land.

Ok, so enough of those ramblings, I also wanted to get on and give you a little update on how everyone is doing. I have saved the most frequently asked about member for last so you will actually read about us all! hahhaha I guess now you could technically scroll down but I'll just tell myself you really do care about us too but we all know the truth and I honestly couldn't blame you one single bit.

I'll start with my very good looking man. I am so very thankful that he really is the love of my life and that so far we have stuck this thing called marriage out. We are doing premarital counseling with a precious couple whom God has chased down (very similar to the two of us) and through that we have had to laugh a lot about our years of not so marital bliss. Jeremy looked at them last night and said, "guys, it takes work, but man is it worth it". I was beaming from ear to ear with pride in him because he is so right and it is so worth it! He is rocking and rolling in real estate land. He has recently had the privilege to list some friends' house that are radically picking up their family and moving to Lexington to plant a church. That was cool, cool to see God working on their behalf (a two week sale) and Jeremy getting to truly assist them in their calling for Christ. He is a servant in this business and I knew from the start he would be, it is just still attractive to watch that play out in real life. He is certainly in LOVE with his girl and he is coaching Cross' little "Blast Ball" team (t-ball for 3 and 4 year olds-hilarious). This is now starting to sound like a braggy Christmas card so let me rewind and say, we have been through hell and back these past few years so it feels good to feel good again. I never ever want us to sound like we have it all together because nothing could be further from the truth.

Ok, as for me, God has been ever so gracious to give me more than I can handle lately to assure I am 110% t-totally dependant upon Him. I am working (volunteering) for an organization called Ordinary Hero www.ordinaryhero.org as the Ethiopia Missions Coordinator. It is certainly in my blood, that's all I can say. We are working mainly to help with an orphanage there that is in desperate need of a Jesus transforming miracle. This could possibly be one of my greatest honors in life. I remember a lady saying one time about how grateful she was for her abundant life (after a very similar storm) and she looked around at her beautiful home and said "oh I don't dare mean all of this, I mean the ministry God has given us here in Memphis". Now I see what she meant. To be able to play a role in the health of an orphanage that could potentially one day be a training ground for orphanages all around the area establishes a joy that only Jesus can give. I am honored but mainly humbled that He would see fit to allow me to have this small and tiny piece of one very big God puzzle. I am also gearing up for a Summer Bible Study (read about below). AND I am also preparing for a group that will start in the fall called "Minivan Mayhem". I PROMISE you will hear WAY more about that but in the mean time I would be so thankful if you would PLEASE pray all of that up. When the summer/spring began Minivan Mayhem was the "only" thing on my plate (other than the ol husband, kids, and housey of course) but now Ethiopia and Summer Study have joined for a full course meal. I have asked God over and over if it is too much and I just feel Him saying to Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God......He wants me to be reliant on Him and that I certainly am!

Cross Bow (that's what my Daddy calls him and Mercy says "Mercy has a bow too, now that's cute). Cross is a tall, thin, very handsome stud these days. The other day he ended up with a very cool pair of Children's Place shades and he was in the back seat (mind you in a car seat which should knock out the cool immediately) trying to keep the sunglasses on his nose and I am pretty sure he was as full of himself as one could possibly be. The trouble was I was full of him as well. He looks JUST like his daddy........oh if I had a quarter for every time I hear that his college tuition would be paid in full. He now l o v e s his little sister. They still fight like siblings and he still occasionally (okay more often than that) chokes her with the head lock, but all in all I can say that seeing them play and get along and him serve her is just about the thing that makes this mama's heart beam most. He is really good at t-ball (again sounding a bit braggy, NOT my intent) and learning to play as a team is proving to be a VERY valuable lesson in his life as an only child of 3 years was certainly starting to show. There is honestly just something about a mama and her boy that no one can explain but we've got it to the max over here and somewhere deep down that wild and crazy boy of mine can certainly do no wrong.

And now, for the moment you have all been patiently waiting for, our sweet Mercy girl. Just an FYI, if you do see us out and about, try NOT to gloat all over her and not Cross. I am sure (know) at times he wants to send her on back and let the spot light readjust back to him so just gloat over him too if you don't mind. He is certainly worthy of the attention. Mercy's eyelashes are just a foot long and her ringlet curls are just more than people can bear and I totally understand. She now, after a good healthy diet, has a hint of cellulite on her rear and you can only imagine how that ups the squeeze factor for me. I could, can, and do sit there and kiss her half to death most days and she doesn't mind one single bit (well on occasion she does say "all done mommy"). I'll end the brag session with a few short, very cute, very adorable, things my - talking almost solely in English, has 50-75 at least words now - girl has to say in life these days.

*If you sneeze, she will say "bleshish you mommy, bleshish you".
*She still can't say her r's and I may never teach her because she says the cutest "onanage" (orange) and "Caloss" (Cross) or if she is really bossy "KEY-LOSS".
*She likes a list of things, I think it is her learning a new language, but her new thing is "Caloss has light up shoes, Mercy has sparkle shoes".
*She now has "fiends" (friends). Her eyes just light up when she sees peeps she knows. She is a very social butterfly and likes to get up (that part takes a minute)but then she wants to get dressed and get out and about to her fiends.
*She loves "Tomack" the train.
*She feels her head before we walk out the door to make sure she has on a bow.
*Everything pretty much other than a dog, cat, or horse is a "dinosore" (dinosaur). And she is often a scary dinosore and Cross and I have to run and hide and be very very scared.
*It is "Mercy's turn" a LOT.

I'll stop now because I could really be "that mom" and go on and on for hours. Please also know (some of you do thank goodness) that we couldn't be further from perfect in all reality, these are just some better of days and we are going to take them with great joy. I still (somehow always once a month) want to take someone out in our family, for good. Our dog is still scared of storms and keeps us up at night and then I am a grouch for a week. I need a shower desperately and my time management some days is for the birds and I neglect the most important things around me. But as for today, I am going to shower and then load up the car with wedding attire and we are going to turn OFF the blackberry's and turn on the family time. We are going to turn up some praise Jesus music while we are driving, mixed in with some good "shine shine and joy joy" kid's selections and I am hoping my man will allow some Beth Moore to boot. We are WALKING this thing called life out with Jesus, most days we fall but we are doing everything we can to continue to fall forward. He is worthy of our lives, not our Sundays or an occasional small group. In light of His mercies upon us, may we view ourselves as living sacrifices, Holy and pleasing to Him. Happy Memorial Day Weekend my dear friends. I am so thankful for our soldiers and our King, who have payed a price so that our lives can truly be free!

Because of Him,
K

Summer Bible Study

2011-05-13T21:00:00.002-05:00

Hello Ladies!!!!!!! I had to get on and tell you gals about an awesome Summer Bible Study that is about to be up and running to get us through these hot, long, (no stinkin childcare) summer months. Let me also say there is one thing I know for certain, if we take the "summer off" from Bible Study, we are probably going to have some JUNK to deal with when we go back to school. That mindset is a tricky lie satan slips in and if you are like me, if I am not in Bible Study, that USUALLY means I am not in the Word. SO, with that said, I wanted a study, even this certain study, and sometimes beggars have to be leaders. So I present to you..........

What do we do when God interrupts our lives? Many times, like Jonah, we run! Join us for Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted by Priscilla Shirer as we redefine interruption and find out that it is actually God's invitation to do something beyond our wildest dreams. We will meet at Bethel Community Church on Wednesdays from 9:30 a.m. - 11:30 a.m., beginning June 8. The group will be led by Kelly Bullock. Childcare will be provided for a small fee. Visit Bethel's website www.bethelclarksville.com and click on 'Growth Groups' to sign up or simply click here: https://bethelworld.infellowship.com/GroupSearch/ShowGroup/439569

We pray pray pray this is a blessing for you this summer and if you have to be out for a week or two you can truck on and download the missed message and you will still be connected with an awesome group of Jesus lovin women! Please share this with anyone you think may be interested and by all means message me if you have ANY questions. It is by no means a "Bethel Only Study". NEVER! Love you gals! Have a wonderful weekend!!!

K

Happy Mother's Day................

2011-05-10T06:12:00.004-05:00

Sorry this post is a few days late but now that I think about it, a few days late is actually very appropriate for this Mother's Day Hello. As you can tell by my last post, the Lord is continuing a work in my heart. I wondered so many times before Mercy was here, would I REALLY be able to love her like my own? I personally think every inch of Cross is precious, you know that mother feeling, where you can stare at their toenails even for hours. I didn't know how on earth I would feel the same for my sweet girl, who looked nothing like me nor her father, who hadn't spent time in my womb. Well let's just say there are no worries there anymore, NONE. I cannot express to you my love for that girl. Her naked rear end can just about take me straight to heaven. Her little feet, I could sit and rub and kiss them for hours. And when I think of how God gave me a child with the same love language as my very own, it almost makes we want to bawl. When she shakes her rear with rhythm, this mother of many years of dance lessons just wants to squeeze her half to death.

Over and over I have sat and stared at her eyes, her eye lashes even and thought to myself, what if? What if we had said "No God"? Now fast forward or rewind actually. When I was in Ethiopia the first time, a sweet friend from my trip was called to move there and do "full time missions". (That is just a fancy word for really looking like the Word.) Each time I returned I would get to see her and I knew God was doing something big in her life, with her life. I wanted so badly to help, but I knew my home was to be the U.S., at least for now. Then I read this..............

"As I held an orphaned little girl tonight who is 10lbs underweight, I began to sing Jesus Loves Me. She stared in my eyes as I sang and I started thinking about her life. Her last name is X because she has no father, she is malnourished, found in the street, and has a horrible bacterial infection that if went untreated would kill her. As the song was ending her eyes slowly closed as she drifted off to sleep. A peace that passes all understanding was shown through the sweetest smile as she slept. I whispered, "Lord, you are her Father. She does have a name, and you know her by name. You know her life and her destiny. Protect her heart and give her peace." There are 15 other babies with a similar story in this orphanage, and 10 more on the way, and only 3 nannies to care for them. I pray that all who read this would prayerfully consider helping this orphanage financially care for these helpless lives. The nannies LOVE these babies but the funding just isn't there for proper care. You can turn tears of hunger into peaceful nights of sleep, and the longing for someone to just hold you into security and happiness. Will you help an orphan fall asleep in peace tonight?"

and then I saw this............

and this...................

And then I was supposed to go about my day, my week? I was to celebrate Mother's Day, place my children in adorable clothing, and have them dedicated to the Lord during our Mother's Day service at church? How was that supposed to look? You see it is VERY different when you know these people, when you have been to this orphanage, when you have smelled what they are smelling and seen other babies just like the one above. It is easier when you can just come back to the states and put your daughter in cute clothes and pretend like the former never was, but somehow God just did not allow that ignorance to be my reality. As one friend said after seeing all of this, my world is now wrecked and forever wrecked to be real honest.

So Happy Mother's Day, a few days late, because many are still without their forever homes and their forever Mothers. Many will die if the veil of our American Dream is not lifted. Many will suffer if we don't DO SOMETHING, even if it feels like that problem is a million miles away. God has called me to partner with sweet Ashli and Ordinary Hero, the ministry that took me on my first trip to Ethiopia (and allowed the wreckage to begin). He has refused my heart the luxury of denial and I will be coordinating the sending of "troops" this summer to help Ashli and restore this orphanage to literal life and also to coordinate the sending of supplies to make sure that this injustice on life is stopped and stopped for good. Even if it is "just one" orphanage...don't ya think it is worth it. I think it will lead to two, then to three, and prayerfully one day this orphanage will be a training camp to all in Ethiopia to set up some much needed systems to make sure these babies not only survive but thrive until they can be partnered for their own Mother's Day.

So I am asking you today, just as Ashli asked above, will you help? Will you do something?? Some are called to go and some are called to send, some are called to gather supplies and some are called to take them, some are called to pray pray pray pray pray and some are called to move move move and move. He is faithful to show us all what our role is to be, but we have to be willing to surrender our own "plan" for His. I am attaching a link to Ordinary Hero's Blog below where you can read much more, just scroll down to the first post that reads "An Immediate Need in Ethiopia". That is where the story begins. Clarksville will be a post for this orphanage and I am a little lost on where to even begin. But I do know one thing, I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING and I HAVE TO HAVE HELP! If you are not in Clarksville there is still a TON you can do. Just message me if you are on board, if your heart is wrecked as well and we will tackle this thing and make satan wish he had NEVER messed with these babies, with their health, with their parents, or with their God! When you look at these babies don't ask "why God" ask "why-insert your name here-". We are the answer, the hands and feet of Jesus here on this earth, we are His plan, His answer, His solution to the problem!

http://www.ordinaryheroblog.blogspot.com/

So Happy Mother's Day!
Kelly

The thing that keeps me up at night..............

2011-05-02T19:49:00.002-05:00

is what...............

if we..................

had not................

said YES?????????

Our Men..............

2011-04-24T15:49:00.009-05:00

Good Afternoon Blog World. This is a topic that has been swirling around in my mind for sometime now. It may seem like an odd topic for an Easter afternoon but it is actually because of the power that Jesus released upon his Resurrection that allows for miracles to occur and prayers to be answered. I am also somewhat avoiding anything largely productive so it seems like a great time to chat. In addition to my current reclining, this is a topic that I tip toe towards with great precaution. Anything I mention doing "right" is ONLY by God's grace and I could write a much longer blog on the things I have done wrong. I want you to know that by the time this blogs hits post it will certainly have been read and approved by my man who proofs each and every one. We are an open book around here but I never want to display a page that he doesn't see fit for reading. The topic is "Our Men" and on that note please know that Jeremy could also write a blog on the way he has so faithfully backed me a million times over when my faith was in the gutter or my sin was soaring high. He has corrected me in love more times that I would ever like to admit so please don't dare hear me saying that I have been his "rock" because nothing could be further from the truth. This is just a blog I (personally) write and it is most often for the encouragement of women so I am telling this from the side of a woman and what we can and can NOT control but also what we can and most certainly should claim. OK, disclaimer DONE.

I honestly think the main reason I am writing is because SO very many women through out the years have chatted with me and been praying for their men. I told a gal the other day, when your man is struggling with his faith it may be one of the hardest things we women ever endure. Over our 6 1/2 (very short) years of marriage God has shown me some holy wisdom that to me has meant everything. Some He showed me in love and through books and some I learned by a good smack in the rear. Regardless I think it is all worth sharing. NO matter who you are or how long you have been married, if you are walking with Jesus you want your man to as well. And if you are reading and you are not married this will be a wonderful blog to remind you that IT AIN'T ALL FUN AND GAMES around these here parts. I am more thankful for my man than anything on this entire earth but I will also say that my man (and my children) have brought out more of my junk and taken more work for me to fight the flesh than anything on the earth. I am constantly reminded of the fact that anything I want to complain about my man on is something that God has ordained to work out something in MY own flesh. I heard a friend say recently that if you want to serve Christ, stay single and if you want to look like Christ, get married. OUCH I would say that is very true and I would say my man would certainly give a strong AMEN in return.

So Jeremy (he has faithfully surrendered himself to you as an example so we approach this with much love), when I met my man there was no more sold out Christian on earth, none. He LOVED people, he loved Jesus and everything else in between was just details. I was so excited because I wasn't up for phonies and certainly not up for religion so this man was the one for me and God had blessed me 100 fold. AND THEN THE HONEYMOON WAS OVER, literally. Oh sweet Jesus, that first year of our marriage I would have used a lot of words but sold out wouldn't have been one of them. JERK would have been what first came to mind and I am sure his words to describe me would have been along the same lines. I watched a man who read his Bible all day every day begin to slowly lay it down and let it at times begin to collect dust. I was in sheer panic wondering what on earth this would mean for our family. We fought in public, that's always attractive and we went to church together but at times I felt like that man's heart was far from God and certainly far from mine. God showed me a VERY valuable lesson that first year and that was this, whatever junk he has is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, God (oddly enough) was worried about MINE! Another huge turn for me personally during that time was being introduced to Joyce Meyer and her saying "study what you are struggling" which meant if your marriage was struggling, study marriage and so I did. I read book after book after book and one even started with the phrase "don't be mad that you are the only one reading books on marriage right now". Good gravy were they reading my mind?

Another thing (besides a new library and a new focus) I had going for me was SPUNK. My personality comes with a whole collaboration of sins. I can get myself in trouble in 2.2 seconds if I am not under the divine inspiration of the Holy Spirit but every once in while that spunk pays off and in marriage I have just had no intentions of settling. I didn't want a church boy I wanted a radically sold out man of God and in marriage I didn't want to just kind of get along and stay together, I wanted to be madly in love and still do. So that spunk and about 100 books later, things started to change. I don't know how to explain it but I started working on my junk one thing at a time and what do you know, my prayers for J started being answered as well. I started serving him and treating him like the man I wanted him to be not the man he was. I started getting my crazy emotions in check and keeping my big mouth SHUT and he started to be nice. I stopped trying to be his Holy Spirit and what do you know, the Holy Spirit spoke to him. I would pray through when to say truth, when to nudge him to do something at church and then when to just stay still and trust Jesus even when I was seeing nothing in return. But most of all, I started to submit to my man! It actually became a "game" to me because I do like to give satan a good smack in the mouth and because my flesh fought this topic tooth and nail I had to get radical in my efforts. If that man said "Johnny's Big Burger" we ate at Johnny's Big Burger (I would have much preferred frilly). If my man said no I said ok, if he said yes, I said sure thing. I just had to learn how to let him lead EVEN when he was not "walking" per say hand in hand with Jesus. I had to trust that Jesus would lead through him regardless and that all I could control was me and my actions and that God would handle the rest. I am not kidding when I say this, the next thing I knew my man surrendered his life to a call to ministry and started seminary. It was 2.5 years into our marriage but looking back it seemed to literally happen that fast. He was sold out again, not at all because he was going to seminary but because he was hearing God and obeying him and our marriage was bliss and I do mean bliss. Oh Praise You Jesus, I had my man back!

So let's fast forward a few years, we get a little surprise named Cross, we move to North Carolina and then resign from a job there and move home and then we walk into the darkest most difficult times of our marriage. We lost a baby, and what felt like everything we had owned and my poor man couldn't find a job to save his life. To say these past few years have been a hard time spiritually for both of us would be fair. So what had I learned to do when my man was struggling with his faith?? You buck up and you pray and you fight again! You learn to be very intentional about what you say, when you say it, and how you say it to him. You serve him even when you are shaking in your boots that he may walk away from it all any day. You have the house clean when he comes home because that makes him happy or less mad. You put Scriptures on his bathroom mirror until he tells you to take them down. You pull out the pocket size "Power of a Praying Wife" and you pray that man UP! YOU FIGHT FOR YOUR MAN!

I don't understand it but ladies it is our honor and our privilege to get to fight for our men. I DO believe that behind every good man is a good woman and that to date has been my most rewarding calling in life. It is not rewarding when day after day after day you see nothing change. It is not rewarding when you think to yourself, seriously, we have come this far and now he is going to fall off the wagon. It is not encouraging when you know he hasn't read his Bible in weeks or even months, it is not encouraging when you feel like he almost makes fun of you for your walk with Christ. BUT WHEN THEY RETURN, oh for the glory of Jesus, when I watched my man worship Friday night it was worth it. It is worth it when you watch God finally give him a career and watch him flourish doing it. It was worth it when he led a Bible Study Thursday night. It was worth it to hear him set his alarm Saturday morning to go to a prayer breakfast and it will be worth it when we die after a life of serving Jesus radically TOGETHER!

So ladies (and men really) let's all have some godly spunk. Don't want your man to "go to church" or say to yourself, oh well, things are never going to change around here. THAT is an attitude that minimizes the cross at it's core. Claim some things over your family and your man. Pray they encounter Jesus in a way that changes their lives forever and be willing to work out your own junk so that you will be worth the man you are praying to have. Our men could do things for the Kingdom that no man has ever done but what if we have the prayers and the charter to release it. What if our submission was in the way or what if our weakness being worked on was the missing piece to his puzzle. You expect more out of your men than they remotely expect out of themselves, but you give them grace when they are a long way away from reaching their potential. You love them madly (and I mean that in ALL ways) and you care WAY more about their needs and wants than you remotely care about your own. You serve them and honor them in public (even if you hardly believe a word that you are saying) and you build them up in person even if inside your mind is circling words that would completely tear them down. I have opened my mouth a hundred times to "let J have it" and forced myself to instead say "honey, did you say you wanted tea with your dinner". It hurts the flesh to do the right thing but smacking satan somehow makes the pain go away. Your man is worth it dear friend. You probably married them because you thought they hung the moon, well by golly, you just didn't know you were going to have to help them get it there. You are the only one fit to be his helpmate, and sometimes the only opinion on earth that he deep down cares about. And certainly you are the only one up in his business enough to know his each and every weakness in need of prayer. I have seen ladies radically back their men through divorce, addiction, infidelity, and a slew of other strong holds. I have felt like the least of victors when talking to friends that were smacking satan through much more difficult times. But I have YET to meet a lady that wasn't being blessed by her Jesus for backing her man, never, not one. I have seen prayers answered radically and I have seen women still in the war with no true sign yet of victory, but fighting on with joy. So let's back our men and believe we will watch them storm this world for Jesus one day.

Jeremy Bullock I thank you that you care way more about other people than you care about our junk being aired. I thank you that you put up with a very broken person through a lot of years of marriage (even if they have only been a few they have at moments seemed like a lot I am certain). But most of all I thank God that you have never lost your faith or walked into sin this entire time. You are still the godliest man I know and I wait with anxious anticipation for all that you are going to do while on this earth to glorify our Jesus!

Amen!
K

Easter 2011

2011-04-22T06:20:00.005-05:00

Good Morning Blog World! I write to you from my "spot" on the couch this early overcast a.m., right side, lamp on, where I meet with my Jesus in the mornings. I have a heavy heart this Easter eve eve after the reminder and realization that today is Good Friday. Growing up I never really knew or understood that Good Friday was the day that Jesus died on the cross and that Easter was the day that He rose from the grave. I probably just thought it was "good" because we got out school. I was disillusioned by the basket, the bunny, and the eggs like the rest of the world.

On that note, a few days back I went to Walgreen's to get an Easter card for Jeremy's precious grandmother who will celebrate her first holiday without her spouse. I was scanning the aisles of cards for "Easter" and I ran across a sizable selection and then I glanced down to a teeny tiny corner of that selection and saw the title "religious". In the middle of Walgreen's I hung my head in shame. How on earth do you have a "religious" section for EASTER for Pete's sake? EASTER IS RELIGIOUS! It is Jesus, it is His death, burial and resurrection and it is forgiveness for all the sins of the earth. But in that moment it hit me, I was horrified mainly because Easter has meant so very much for me.

If you knew of the sins this one soul from a little town called Winchester, Tennessee has committed you would understand. If you knew the forgiveness that cross has bore for this 5'2" gal you would see why I was staggered by the trick of society. A bunny means nothing to me and does nothing for me but JESUS.....well that's a whole other story. He saved my rear, radically changed my life, healed REAL diseases I had and called me out from a grave that a few people had begun to dig on my behalf and I so easily helped finish.

I spent last weekend with some gals that knew that old Kelly. I tend to remain somewhat in a bubble these days. Most people that I "run" with I did NOT run with before. They've never seen me smoke a cigarette or drink a beer (or 12). They've never seen my actions wreak havoc over an entire family or be a complete and utter disgrace to myself. But those gals had and what a perfect reminder for this Easter 2011 season. That cross and that tomb means EVERYTHING to me and one of my greatest fears is that after all He and I have been through I will begin to dumb down Easter to matching outfits for my children.

A little boy asked me the other day (with a blatant look of disapproval on his face) "why is his name Cross? is it like cross the street." And I looked at that sweet little boy who has no clue the impact Jesus could make in his very own life and said "no honey it is like Jesus on the cross". Cross the child is here ONLY because of the cross of Jesus. These two sinners would have destroyed each other long before we would have had the honor and privilege of having a son. Sin would have killed and destroyed our reproductive systems just to be totally honest. That cross means everything to us and our journey to our Cross not to mention our Mercy.

So for this Easter 2011, I pray for all of us, that we will figure out this weekend regardless of where we are in our journey. If you have no relationship with Jesus, I pray that you tell society you have a bigger brain than to celebrate a bunny. I pray that you will grab a Bible and start in John and figure out what really happened that Easter weekend all those many years ago. Or if you have walked away from your Savior who you once knew and loved, I pray that you remember that the cross of today is so precious because it only takes a return to be reunited. It is no more complicated than that. And then finally, if you are madly in love with your Savior please fight tooth and nail this weekend and in the years to come to avoid society's temptation to settle for an egg. I wanna talk to my Jesus on Easter! I wanna snuggle up and thank Him. I want to confess sin on Easter for sure but because of the resurrection I want to walk in the power and not be bound to any ever again. I want Easter to be something I celebrate and thank Him for daily, certainly not once a year. I want this weekend to be one that is of Holy significance on the Kingdom calendar and I want my kids to get that truth more than they ever get a stupid Easter basket. I want to respect this corporate Holiday but at the same time I want it to be very personal to this sinner redeemed.

So Happy Easter dear friends! May we walk humbly this weekend, checking our hearts, seeing how we love others, seeing whether our greatest concern is matching outfits or needy neighbors. May we never do another Easter egg hunt with our children without doing everything in our power to make sure that they know the King before hand! He loves you, He died for you, He rose for you, He is coming back for YOU!

K

Miracles.............

2011-04-18T21:30:00.005-05:00

There are no words for this Mama's proud heart! God thank you for exceedingly, abundantly, more than all I asked or imagined!

Thank you http://www.hilaryflynnphotography.com/ for these amazing photos!

Hope really does help............

2011-04-14T19:20:00.004-05:00

Hello Blog World. I am writing you on this Friday eve with glorious hope. This is not just any weekend around the bend, this is a weekend with plans of joyous Beth Moore, road trips, awesome friends, and I am hoping a meal that is far from "clean". I haven't packed a single thing but I honestly feel like it would be so wrong to leave town without saying hello first. My social butterfly has been squished these days so I am getting a whole lot of adult conversation out on this here blog and I am hoping you are at least not bored to tears. I also, of course, wanted to update you on one HANDSOME young man and one PRETTY pretty princess. They are going to bed right now which makes them the absolute loves of my life. Other moments are not so warm and fuzzy but this weekend I know will help with that as well. Cross is about 6 feet tall right now. It kills me. I asked J last night how we ended up with an 8 year old and he just smiled and sighed. He is LOVING the warmer weather and every day he is loving his sister more and more. He wants to ring her neck sometimes but if he is getting a treat, his first question is "what about Mercy girl" so in my book all is well there. Mercy is a dainty princess who tries to growl like her brother but it just doesn't work. She squills, prances and Jeremy even said yesterday-throws a ball like a girl. She received some play clip on earrings the other day at a CHUCK E CHEESE Birthday party (that could be a whole other post) and watch out world, I have put those things on her ears four hundred times and I honestly haven't minded a single one. I have honestly LOVED having a girl.

Let me say right now (for fear someone would thing I was bragging)Cross is trying to trick Mercy to get out her bed so she will get a "spank spank". I can tell you that gal is WAY too smart for that little man. That's another great topic while we are on the subject, strong willed verse not. Good Lord have mercy (little m) on this mama. I have had my eyes open to just how difficult it is to raise a strong willed child verse an obedient, people pleaser. THE LOOK WORKS, even the teeny tiniest raise in your voice can cause total tears heart break and I know she is often looking at her brother and saying to herself, "why Cross, WHY?" I have even seen her furiously shake her head NO to him to try to keep his behind out of trouble. She is going to hold him back a little and he is going to push her right off the edge. It has honestly amazed me but in a good way. I really do KNOW that God has made my boy a leader and that He is going to do great and mighty things for the Kingdom, it is just going to take every last ounce of mine and his father's energy to get him there. And Mercy girl, well, we will have to help her understand that despite the fact that she wouldn't hurt a fly or disobey if you paid her 2.2 million dollars that she still IS a sinner and in great need of a Savior. I think that will be taxing on the mind more than the body which in this moment may sound better but I know I will always have concern for them but probably for very different reasons.

Other random tidbits include Mercy's English is coming along great. She talks and talks and talks and now there are many many words we actually know involved. It will break this mama's heart (honestly) when it is all in English because I love hearing that little Amharic chatter. She has pretty much captured the heart of everyone she has met. Total strangers are apologizing for staring and grown men are holding her with the death grip of no return. Speaking of holding we have seen HUGE strides in her attachment. PTL No more walking up to strangers and holding her arms up to be held. She goes STRAIGHT to mama or daddy and even on our little date the other night she acted perfectly normal the next day, like we had never been apart. I am SO thankful for God's grace because even though she will be with Jeremy while I am out of town, I never dreamed I would be willing (or so needy) to leave town for 36 hours just 5 short weeks in.

I have also FINALLY gotten my snuggler. I have gone all my life with most of the closest people to me having ZERO sign of touch as their love language. Now I have a little girl who will kiss me 400 times over and lift up her shirt to have her underarm rubbed while watching a movie. I am in snuggle Heaven and I am sure my man is thrilled. I honestly have to put her down and make her go play just so I can get something done. What a GREAT problem to have.

So as you can tell, Jesus has done great things! We are a family of 4 and besides the obvious color difference, if you saw us out you would never know we hadn't all been together since birth. They are siblings to the core of cores. She jumps and leaps when her daddy gets home from work and as far as this mama goes, can't even remember life before her if I tried. What paperwork? What waiting? What fundraising? All I know is obedience ALWAYS brings about a blessing.

I guess I better be heading to the bed soon to get my beauty rest before I hit the road with another Jesus performed miracle of a friend and hopefully one more. We are all proof that God DOES change lives, He does do miracles in this day and that nobody (I am proof for sure) is too far gone to be redeemed! Jesus you are mighty and worthy of our praise, may we trust that You are for us, always!

K

Avoiding all things productive................

2011-04-06T20:32:00.008-05:00

Sometimes when I have a long list of things to-do, especially for a long time, I get stressed. I am the type A kind of person who likes to make her list and then mark it off. I am not a procrastinator, I am the opposite, I am OCD about my list and life is not life as it should be until it is ALL DONE. After Ethiopia, the fact that I was going to be a full time stay at home mom told me that I would have nothing but time on my hands, but nothing could be further from the truth, at least not so far. There has been a LOT of post adoption, readoption paperwork and stuff to do and I am beginning to move into shut down mode. That is always a great time for me to blog. It is like my form of running away, I run from the have-to-do list and embrace the just-because-I-want-to-do kind of things in life.

I would blog 2 times a day if I could but right now that is far down the reality list. Cross and Mercy take a LOT of attention and focus right now. I have been doing good to keep the house somewhat picked up, the food at least somewhat cooked and purchased and for the love of homemaking what did women do before the washer and dryer? My lack of a dish washer is the constant keeper of my time but with Ethiopia fresh in my mental mind I am trying my hardest not to complain. I am sure you can tell! The thing that really triggered my "all work and no play" state happened a few weeks ago. I was reading a blog, of a stranger, and she was giving the sweetest and most innocent recap of her weekend. She had gone out with friends and her husband on Friday night (without kids) and then out with girlfriends on Saturday morning (again without kids). I was down right annoyed with my internet friend. Who died and made her queen of the world? How did she get all those breaks and write about them with zero mention of guilt or apology?? God gave me the grace to know, that was my que, I NEEDED A BREAK. Parenting makes you feel guilty for the thought of a break and then add in adoption and you are in martyr mentality faster than you can blink your non-mascared eyes.

So here is what we (I) have to remember, Jesus really is about your business, if you need a break, He knows, He cares, and He is a Man with a plan. Your role is really just to pray. I have prayed off and on over the past few weeks. How do I balance, QT with Jeremy, Cross, Mercy and MYSELF????????? How do I get a date night, a one on one night with each kid and a girl's get away, all in one month, all in one budget? I felt God telling me, take it one day at a time, do what is best today and that was a few weeks back. Well let me tell you what has unfolded over the past two days literally and if you tell me Jesus only cares about the largest details of your life, I'll tell ya you are missing out on all the fun. Jeremy and I obviously haven't had a date in now almost 5 weeks (great for the marriage, NOT). Well we got invited to a fundraising dinner in Nashville (PTL) and we talked about it and talked about it and said YES! Mercy has been doing great at her hour or two of childcare here and there so the kids are going to a friend's and my man and I are going OUT. Then I got invited to something this weekend where a combination of super heroes and Jesus are present so my little man and I are going on a hot date while my princess and her father go on a daddy/daughter breakfast. I bet they will be the cutest thing in Clarksville, TN (please don't think I am bragging, I just can't get over the two of them still). And THEN a girlfriend at Bible Study today said she was going on a road trip to a conference next weekend and asked if I wanted to go and I did something I never do, SPONTANEOUS!!!!!!!!! I text my man, he said yes, and I didn't ask twice, I AM IN!

So out with the productivity of life, let's start living. Please know I am not bragging on me, I am bragging on Jesus. Two girl friends have asked me about this exact topic this week so I wanted to write about it, sisters we need a break and satan ain't gonna roll out the red carpet for ya, you gotta ask Jesus to do that. This morning as I walked, unknowing of the icing on the cake He had in store. I just told Him, Jesus I still feel like I need a break, a real one, like more than a few hours here and there. Imagine my reaction when one short sentence paved a way for His answer. I now know He was saying, "I know sweet one and I have it all planned already, you just keep walking".

He is more personal and more trustworthy than we ever give Him credit. All of this may not work out as blissfully perfect as it sounds on paper. Satan will want Jeremy and I to fight tomorrow night and Cross may have a fit on the floor in his Spiderman suit. My friend and I will have to fight satan tooth and nail next week to get the heck out of dodge and get us some Jesus, but that is just life after the fall and Jesus is the only thing that makes it remotely bearable. So get up and get out a little. If your personality is like mine and people would be far less impressed with your social life than your productive life, live a little, life's way too hard on us not to. So I am signing off, going to bed, it'll ALL still be here tomorrow. I have a date to prepare for, two actually, and I am making plans to be dazzled, you should too!

K

Good Morning Blog World.............

2011-03-31T05:50:00.006-05:00

I am writing to you from my favorite spot and time on earth, the early morning a.m. all curled up on my comfy couch. I really have nothing of any major importance to say but I have a few more moments of silence before the day begins and since I can finally (to some degree at least) pick what I want to do with it instead of what I "have" to do with it, well I most certainly pick you. Life is for sure becoming a bit more normal around here. Please know I am still adjusting my definition of normal so if I get on tomorrow a.m. and cry my eye balls out, please have grace for me, I am just adjusting, slowly but surely. From 1 to 2......to be honest, I didn't really give this step a whole lot of thought. For the most part my goals have been revolving around getting Mercy here for so long that what-on-earth life would look like past that was just too obscure to plan. We are coming to the end of our third week home and I think all in all, God is doing a great miracle because I am not sitting in the floor sobbing all day. (Again, if you are reading and you are doing that just know I have been there too.) My Cross man IS potty trained, praise be to Jesus! God is helping me overcome my anger and I am seeing my little strong willed tot love on his sister more and more everyday. They are attached at the hip already that is for certain and it blows my mind to think that God had all of this ordained and I tried to fight it.

I think, however, that I am still trying to get in the groove of this whole mommy thing and it is happening very slowly. I mean come on, almost 3.5 years in and you would THINK I would have gotten a bit more adjusted by now. I don't know how to explain all of my stay-at-home mom emotions. I KNOW it is an honor and a blessing and I think because I know that I fight mounds of guilt when I struggle with it. Another part of me knows that I grew up in a single parent home where my mother always worked so I don't have a lot to draw from. It is like I am a woman, who has always wanted kiddos, and yet I have no clue what on earth to do with them. I didn't have any younger siblings and the little girl that I baby sat during my high school years I now know just didn't count in experience per say because she was literally a complete and utter angel. I do have a nephew whom I L O V E dearly but I am/was only around him once every few months so I really have had the ultimate shock of my life.

The one thing (really there were many) the Lord did so graciously allow was a mentor in North Carolina that had herself a wild, all boy, strong willed little man and I thought he was the cutest fella on the planet. Cross at the time wasn't even walking and I literally think I said something as crazy as "I sure hope Cross is all boy just like that one day". I don't even know what to say to that statement today. Praise Jesus God gave me his wonderful godly mama to turn to, even to this day I call her asking what on earth do I do. Here are a few examples of my mentionings, it takes every amount of will power that poor child has to take a bath without soaking and I mean soaking my (sometimes clean) bathroom. He knows one speed, full. He wakes up ready to rock and roll and we have been going to bed in a big boy bed for well over 400+ nights and he STILL gets out of bed, I would say 9 or 10 out of 10 nights. He is that kid that you see running through a hallway followed my a frazzled mom and you think to yourself, lady, you need to learn how to control your kid. Mercy girl on the other hand, she got out of bed once, got in trouble, now she barely sits up in the bed. If she splashed in the tub with her fullest of force, a drop would probably never even hit the floor. She "jumps" when she gets excited. Her feet barely get off the ground. And often times, she and I literally just look at each other when Cross is doing extreme boy and we almost shrug our shoulders after our eyes refocus from bulging out and we silently agree, he is crazy.

Boys are just another breed and I WANTED one first and I guess honestly it has helped. Heaven forbid if I had Mercy first and then Cross, it would be a much greater shock that I will say. I know Mercy is NOT perfect, she is a sinner, she is just a quieter, calmer one. I really DO want my boy to be all boy, but not always at the expense of my aching flesh. I wanna know when to let him romp and when to teach him self control and have him sit. I want him to sprint after Jesus but some days my goal is simply to make it until bedtime. The other redeeming fact about this now very sad sounding blog post is that I love that little man more than life itself. He can be tearing through the house and I do mean literally and I could squeeze those now Thomas the Tank Engine butt cheeks right off his non-existent rear. I pray that at the end of my life, he will be one of my "well dones". I pray that I always (or ever really) embrace their radical differences because there really could not be any greater, two extreme opposites on the earth.

She sleeps right side up, on her back, under the covers. He sleeps wrong side up, on his tummy, hates the covers, to this DAY I still have to go cover him up at night so he is not numb by morning. She pets the dog, ever so gently, he squeezes the living day lights out of the dog if she is ever unlucky enough to get caught. She rubs your arm, he hits it. He does laps around the car even though we have told him 1,000 times "go straight to your door", she stays right by my side. He doesn't like chocolate fudge rounds, she knows they are Heaven. He chugs his milk, she sips, he wakes ready to conquer the world, she wakes and it takes a princess a minute to get movin. It really is kind of the cutest thing ever if you are not the one doing the chasing. She is chocolate and he is vanilla in about 101 different ways but I really do love them both. He has been the wreck of my "perfect little life", but I know deep down just how bad it needed a wreckin. She is my blessing for obedience and he is my test of time. But at the end of the day, there is neither of the one that I can get enough kisses from to satisfy this mama's heart. I am SO thankful for Beth Moore's messages about her two opposite children and the privilege to watch them from afar now both follow Jesus. You have no idea the encouragement that brings to this tired mother's heart.

With that said, the time is drawing near, I must depart and embrace this calling I have upon my life and do it with great vigor and determination. Cross actually goes to school today so 2 sweet teachers will get the honor and privilege of raising him and this little mama is going to TAKE HER BREAK! I love you all dearly!

K

Mercy Girl Re-Adoption Raffle............

2011-03-29T20:10:00.006-05:00

Hey Everyone, we are literally down to the last step...Mercy's re-adoption in the states. That last step comes with a not-so-lovely fee of $1,300. A very generous couple has donated, so we are down to $850. We are going to do a $10 raffle because we want you to get back for all that you have given.

The raffle is easy. It will run through Friday, April 1. The first 25 people that give will get their choice of a free CD or a set or earrings. With each $10 that you donate, you will have a chance to win one of these awesome prizes below. The Scentsy warmer will go to the highest donor.

The way to give is to donate using PayPal on the left side of the screen. After the raffle has ended we will contact you to let you know if you've won and we will mail your prizes to the address listed on PayPal.

Just think, with 85 facebook friends and blog friends we would reach our goal! Thank you all so much for all you have done. There is no way you can't win something!

Free Gifts............

Gifts to win...........(the Mercy t is a 4t)

Random Tidbits.............

2011-03-24T05:51:00.002-05:00

People have asked us great questions along the way so here are some answers and other random thoughts that I figured I would share before my poor brain forgets them. I saw a new mom the other night that had left the house with her flip flop "house shoes" on and no jewelry and I laughed so hard inside, it is really a wonder we make it out somedays dressed even. My brain is on much higher alert than ever a day spent in banking. It is done, so here is my pitiful attempt at a random thoughts post....

1. The readoption and her birthday change. Our adoption IS final but most agencies suggest that you do something called a readoption once you have the child in the states. This is basically just a formality of paperwork (that costs ANOTHER $1200 bucks btw, geeeez) and it will help down the road when she needs a passport, etc. It is also the time when we officially change her name, currently her name is her given name and then Jeremy as middle and Bullock as last. Also, this is when we change her birthday. One of the saddest things to me is that the mothers do not know their actual children's birthdate. It is just not a cultural thing, possibly because they are way too poor to plan super fun birthday parties with presents, balloons and silly hats. The birth mother DID know that Mercy was 2.5 and that was what we had thought, at least 6 months younger than Cross and from what we can tell developmently that is very accurate. There is a way to have some testing done but we are going to bypass that because we feel like we are close and I don't even want to fathom the price tag. The problem came in when the court in Ethiopia randomly assigned her a birthdate that put her at almost 3.5 which would have made her older than Cross and that was a biggy to us, to keep him as the oldest child, the big brother..............so on April 7th we get to go to Montgomery County Court and have another judge say she is yours! That never gets old! Ok, hope that makes sense.....

2. The next question we get so very often is does she speak English and the answer is no. Her native language is Amharic (not a lot of schools offering that as a foreign language these days). She has been around VERY little English. Each time we have been in Ethiopia we have had a translater for everything. She does know how to count to 10 and kind of ramble off her ABC's but other than that she has picked up a lot already and probably more than we even know because her words are still hard to understand becaue of her accent. For instance, she can't say the "sh" sound and although her tongue can roll an r, she has trouble with tons of sounds we make frequently. Her main list that we run down about 100 times daily is mommy, papa (that is what she calls J in the most high pitched little voice ever), Cross (rolled r, SO darn cute), Mercy, and then Snick (her new bff) which sounds more like sa-nick. Oh and she is also saying "I love you" that is more like "I woof you" and it will just about melt your heart in two point two seconds. She will go around all day with a little bag packed and say "bye, I woof you". hahhahaha So we are are working on English, but relishing in her little Amharic chatter that fills the home as she is playing. I BARELY passed all my foreign languages (I am just betting so did J) so we aren't great parents in that department, but God's grace is covering it. There is a lot of pointing and repeating words in toddlerhood regardless so it has been very natural and very easy to communicate. One time she was asking for a tissue and I didn't know what she was saying and finally she just swung her little hips around and marched to the bathroom and got the thing herself! hahhaha

3. The next is "how is Cross doing" and the answer even today is SO much better. It has been hard for our poor little guy at times. I am thinking he probably at some moments thinks it was more fun when we were just talking about her and then at some moments he is literally squeezing the life out of her but IN LOVE. He has been an only child and it shows but it is good for both of them (and I am certain good for us). We have swung to both ends of the unhealthy pendulum, too much over compensation and then wanting to choke him, and now we are trying to land in a heathly center. Sometimes I have to tell her to wait and she wants all the attention as well so sometimes I just want to not hear mommy four million times a day but it is getting so much better! Last night we had a kissy fest and they were both on cloud nine so there is grand hope. She nags at him too much and he rough houses her too much but I am certain that is with every brother and sister, theirs was just an instant instead of a gradual transition. I have laughed so hard and thought to myself (as a reminder for me) honey, boys just don't need two mama's. She will get that finger going and say "Closs, Closs" and I can see it in his eye, he wants to snap that finger right off! hahhahaha The good moments are when I can laugh about it all, the bad moments are when the play room is filled with screams and mommy's and then Cross' "I hit her", well at least the kid is honest! So as you can tell, better keep praying.

3. Her eating habits. We kind of had a plan going in that to some degree we would just raise her on Cross' diet because it would be easier all the way around. Their tummies have a lot of recovering to do from parasites in the water and such so we thought his bland diet would work great and so far so good. One thing that I didn't think of that has been odd is that she has not had a great variety of food so she is a little weirded out by say- a strawberry. I am making her try everything just because she would probably assume just to have peanut butter crackers 24/7 (she is still a two year old at heart) and for the most part she has liked pretty much everything. This is just a funny/random thing. In their culture they mainly eat with their hands and they kind of (I am not really sure how to explain this) take their thumb and first three fingers and work things into like a paste???? Well anyways, the other day I had given them a nutragrain bar, you know, you can just bite the thing and be done. Well I had walked away and I heard Cross say "look, Mercy is making a messy" and I turned around and sure enough that kid had turned that nutragrain bar into a crumbled mess but she was carefully pasting it together. We are trying to teach her how to BITE. That has given us a 1,000 laughs.

4. And then a biggie of course in toddler world is "how is attachment going". One thing that people often don't think about is your mother's anxiety on how YOU will attach. And I know some people who have adopted and are still struggling and working through all that and if you are reading now, keep begging God for a miracle. I was worried about that because when I went in December I know for sure that I had a huge "what if this all falls apart" wall up but when we has passed Embassy and she was for sure ours in March I kept telling myself "you don't have to leave her again, you are NEVER going to have to give her back". Within a week or so of being home it was all washed away and that was MY BABY GIRL. I have that mama bear instinct and when she looks up at me my heart literally MELTS. Sometimes yes I wanna scream still because she is two but I love her literally just like I love Cross and that is a miracle that I can ONLY attribute to Jesus! As far as her attachment goes, I know she loves her mama and L O V E S her daddy. The thing we are still concerned with is her ZERO stranger anxiety. This has been hard but certainly reiterated the fact that we really cannot allow people to hold her for several more months. She will literally walk into a room of total strangers and stick her arms out for someone to pick her up. Early on we went to Jump Zone just to get out and let Cross romp (and romp that brave boy did) but she almost walked right up to a total stranger that we hadn't even spoken to and sat in their lap. I had to apologize and explain to the people but it honestly scared me half to death and showed me just how strict we have got to be. You almost have to laugh instead of cry but for this mama it was not funny. It is hard, especially with our family, but everyone has been wonderful and more than understanding. We have put her and are starting to put her in childcare a little bit at church and at Bible Study because she gets SO sad when Cross gets to go and she doesn't (Jeremy keeps reminding me that she was in a orphange with TONS of kids all day long). We are sending her in with STRICT instructions that no adult is allowed to hold her (trust me, she will put those arms up quicker than I can explain) and then I am trying not to be gone for any longer than hour or so just to make sure she doesn't start feeling "left". So in a nut shell, maybe a big one, that is us and attachment, all and all miracluous if you ask me! If you saw us out, you'd never know we hadn't all been together forever.

5. Potty Training, yes Mercy is PERFECTLY potty trained, even at night. Diapers really aren't a commodity over there so I guess you just learn out of desperation a little more. MY MAN CROSS is also rocking and rolling this week! I am praising Jesus for sure!

6. And finally, Mercy's eyes, she really does have some of the most beautiful eyes (and eyelashes) you have ever seen in your entire life. Jeremy's grandmother said "her eyes talk" and that is true for certain. Just a cute thing that has overwhelmed me and reminded me constantly where she has come from has been to watch her eyes as she sees new things. She is here and in her cute clothes and basket full of bows and it is easy to forget the other children, the "other" reality but it is real. When we walked into a grocery store for the first time I thought she was going to die. She screeched her way through every aisle with eyes as wide as they could get. The other thing that almost sent her over the edge was the sunroof opening in the car. I laughed so hard I had to stop driving for a second. I can only imagine what that little girl was thinking. She knows her parents are really really rich, her parents just have to remember that for themselves.......

Love you guys!
K

The Bullock Family................

2011-03-21T20:12:00.003-05:00

is very thankful for that 77! What I have learned these past two weeks is this...I needed God to move a million mountains to get my baby girl home, but I have also needed Him to speak to me about a million times over once she got here. These past two weeks have been a roller coaster to say the least, but the Holy Spirit has proved faithful and beyond personal through the entire ride. From what the heck to do about Snick and Mercy to how on earth I would repent of and deal with my anger towards my sweet son as he rough housed my girl. (It is easy to get just darn right angry at someone for being mean to your baby girl but what on earth do you do when it is your very own son?) God has spoken to me constantly today as I have been potty training Cross and He has given me 4 videos over these past two weeks that spoke to my empty heart like non-other possibly could without divine intervention. He has given me meals for two solid weeks and then when it was supposed to be all said and done I got a call today from a sweet lady who had us one more. Do you know how encouraging it is to know that Jesus sent you a dinner when you have cleaned up 8 accidents before 9:30 a.m.?? (How is it even humanly possible to pee and poop that much so early in the morning?) He has literally reminded me this week that I am nothing without Him and that I can do nothing without Him, especially raise these babies. But what was even more amazing than that revelation was that He showed me just how much He would come along side of me and help, even in the tiniest detail of the "smallest" thing. He is there! He is able! He is so worthy of our praise!

So what do the Bullocks think about all of this, we think we couldn't be more thankful to have the King of Kings whisper in our ears and tell us what on earth to do next while at the same time giving us glimpses of the future and what these kids could really become if FIGHT tooth and nail to cling to our Savior and raise them His way! Mercy is now always prompting us to pray. She repeated after me the other night a perfect prayer (the most she has ever repeated in English) and I could hardly get through the thing without sobbing. I didn't want her to be even more confused so I refrained but I came back in the living room knowing the entire day of battling satan's lies had been worth it. He has put me through the ringer this week and with my shields down I have been hit from all angles and without energy to war. But because His mercy's are new every morning, I kept hearing Him say, "just start today, fight today, everything in life worth having takes a fight and these babies are worth the war". I have wanted to give up, give in and get the heck out of dodge, but by God's great grace I have won another small battle in the war called life and I have overcome another day.

So thank you for your prayers. They are needed! We DID by God's grace have a "dry" potty training afternoon so that was a win of all wins. The Lord is faithful to give us hope, even in the midst of a ton of crap (sorry I just couldn't resist). So I am off to take a shower (better late than never). I am going to ignore the rest of that coulda/woulda/shoulda get done list and I am going to try to get a good nights rest so that I can beat those kids to the punch in the a.m. and get me some Jesus so that they will be proud to call me mom instead of wanting to run for the hills. You guys do the same, we all have something in life we are being called to tackle that is just too big for us to do without Him, He designed it that way. So if you are like me and feel like you are failing miserably, be encouraged, He is just waiting for you to admit it! He will handle the rest!

K

Whatcha really want............

2011-03-13T22:03:00.007-05:00

These are just random shots of our trip and our return. I knew you guys wanted pictures so I thought I would share even if there is no particular order involved.

This is Mercy as we landed in the states. She obviously did AMAZING on the flight, better than we did really.

This is Mercy girl and her Daddy! They are both IN LOVE, can you tell?

This is the boy we sponsor from the dump who is now in boarding school. Proof a few dollars can really change a life. We love him like he is our son and we were so thrilled he got to meet his sister. Pray for this sweet young man; Thomas is a good American name for short. He is an absolute gentlemen of gentle men. Pray he continues to follow hard after Jesus.

Here is Mercy on the day we picked her up, opening her Valentine from her Granny.

This is just a bit of loving while we were there. I still cannot stop kissing her!

This is a shot to show you just how tiny she is and just how big our boy has gotten. He is only 6 months older but towers her in size.

This is her first meeting with her Granny.

and her PopPop

And this picture says it all, precious moments here!

And then finally, our welcoming home.......

Thank you guys so much for your prayers. Every single day is getting easier and more normal. I think we are finally caught up on our sleep. (I am awake so that is proof.) We have several big things this week so two prayers are insurance and readoption. We have to take the paperwork in to apply for her to be on our insurance, obviously pray they say yes. And then we are meeting with a lawyer (possibly a few) to get details about what we need to do to readopt her in the states, change her birth date, etc. Thanks again, this has been a dream and a miracle, all wrapped up into one unbelievable story we get to call life!

A Week (almost) In.......................

2011-03-10T19:41:00.006-06:00

Hey gang, my two tots are out for the count and my sweet hubs is at Bible Study so I thought I would get on and say hello while I am sitting in the glorious peace and quiet of my very own home. I think there is nothing I love more than that these days. It is nice to have quiet any way you can get it, but in your very own house it is most glorious. I wouldn't turn on that TV if you paid me a million dollars (ok well I would but you know what I mean). Silence is my greatest commodity these days.

So one week (almost) in, where to start? In the middle of my types I am icing my eye bone where my sweet son clocked me today. The good news is, he was being sweet and we were playing. The bad news is, this is a bit symbolic of how I feel at moments. I'll start with the not so good and we'll end on a high note, how about that. Cross is struggling but it is ONLY a week (almost) in so I am not worried at all, just tired and tired and patient are rarely related. We have also decided that we have two children who span the great extremes on the personality profile. She is calm, smiley, helpful, smiley, and her version of running through the house is like a light prance. CROSS IS A WILD BOY (I wanted to say heathen but he may read this one day). Jeremy's mom encouraged me last night that Jeremy was JUST like him and he obviously turned into a fine young man. And my precious doctor reminded me that Cross will know he needs a Savior, Mercy might think she is perfect without one. Tell me that's not a good word for us all.

It is almost as if this new sister thing has put his boy nature on steroids. Hence the probably black eye on my part and the horrible reality of comparison that I just can't seem to shake already. So pray for Cross, pray for us, pray Mercy doesn't get physically harmed (too bad at least) in all of this. Cross LOVES her most moments, sometimes just a little too much. She thinks it is all hilarious until he pushes too far and then she calls for back-up. This is a good time to mention that Cross had also grown a foot and 10 pounds in the short week that we were gone and he towers over her and frankly me as well. Another problem lies in the fact that I think I have been over compensating. I felt like every time I even glanced her way I needed to pay him a compliment and my dear friend set me free of that by saying that it is NOT a bad thing that he is not the center of the universe anymore. I just needed to hear that it was okay, okay that he had to share basically everything, that in the end it would make him a better man. Honestly the only other bad is our 4-6 a.m. wake up sessions. I feel like I have a newborn for many reasons but this sleep thing is killing me. I wanna have one full night and thus break away from my Diet Dr. Pepper obsession. I hadn't had a "coke" (that one's for you Delilah) in months and now I wake up thinking about my ice cold $1 Diet Dr. Pepper and today I remembered Sonic has $1 drinks in the a.m. Oh sweet Jesus if I go on talking about it I'll never be free again.

Ok, on to the good, let's change the subject. First off, thank you tons for your prayers in regards to sweet Snicker girl. After some glorious wise counsel from another adoptive mom, Snick and Mercy are now almost officially BFF's. She chases Snick and tries to pet her and she feeds her and she tells her bye-bye when we leave. She did let out a blood curdling scream this a.m. when Snick woke her up by jumping in her bed but other than that she has done perfect with the dog. Her behavior has also been very close to perfect after the first 48. I am praying we just had an early testing of the boundaries and now we understand that there are some but I am still trying to stick with zero expectations to be safe. Outings have been good, the few we've done. She is good as long as we are right there. She is a far from being able to play freely with adults though, that is certainly obvious. She just has ZERO stranger anxiety which is not healthy so we are still asking people to please just say hi and then direct her on to mommy and daddy. That will probably have to go on for several months but it is the only way we can actually have a life and still do what is best for her. It is just so hard because she is SO darn cute but that also helps with Cross' behavior because he doesn't feel threatened which good or bad certainly makes for a more pleasant visit.

And then finally, just because my brain is tired and my thoughts are random, I have a few things that people have asked me over this journey (either directly or indirectly) that I think are questions I would ask and want to know the answer to, especially in terms of adoption. So I think while we are all happy and I need to make myself stay up until at LEAST 8:30 I'll just take this moment to share. The first is Jesus, Jesus told us to do this, He told us to name her Mercy, He told us she was "in Ethiopia and to go and get her now". WHAT IF WE HAD NOT OBEYED? That is probably the greatest sobering fact for me right now. The first few days I did feel a bit like I was babysitting, but already I can NOT even fathom life without this sweet girl. Thank you Jesus for giving us the grace and wisdom to obey, Your ways are always best. The second is the topic of infertility. I do not for one second want anyone to think we chose this path because we tried for a few short months to get pregnant again and did not. That topic is so touchy to me because there are somewhere in the vicinity of 163 MILLION ORPHANS out there and if we only adopt because we can not get pregnant then that is a sad day in Christianity if you ask me. We adopted first because God told us to, but secondly because I got to see first hand the need. When I walked into that first orphanage in Ethiopia (which was Mercy's orphanage btw) and I went in a saw that baby room, filled with sick, starving babies, I literally thought I was going to throw up everywhere, sprint out of the building, and find a way back to the airport and back to the United States. It was literally more than my heart could bare. But then I heard these words "oh yes, all of them are adopted already, all of these babies have homes". It was like a ray of Jesus sunshine showered down into that room and God was saying to me, "see, those families are bringing hope to a hopeless situation".

Guys, YES sometimes God does use infertility to nudge people to adoption and even for me, certainly if I had gotten pregnant over those few months I would have never even gone to Africa, but we have got to understand that there are enough children out there that need homes that no one needs to step to the side "because you can have your own". Well my man is almost home so I am going to leave you tonight with a little blurb from my BFF in the adoption world's blog. She put it perfectly so no need to rewrite the written. I love you guys. Thank you again for your prayers. God knew before the foundation of the earth that Mercy was to be ours. It is not a chance, she is a chosen child of ours. We are so honored God entrusted us with her and that He led us through each and every detail of the process and footed the bill to boot.

http://paynefamilyblessings.blogspot.com/
"The numbers are now at 163 Million so our Adoption Memory shirt is just that... a MEMORY of how many Orphans there were. Now there are MORE. And there will be MORE tomorrow. We need MORE families to step out on their faith and say YES!
Did you know that 34% of Christian Families have considered adoption, but only 1% actually do it! Did you know that if we could raise that number to 7% that there would be NO ORPHANS LEFT IN THIS WORLD??? That was a statistic, shared by Katie Davis that SHOOK ME to my core when I was "just reading" her blog. We had no intentions to adopt, I was just reading her blog, but that statistic haunted me.... After I read that, everything began to change and I began to ask WHY NOT US? We had the room, we were capable of loving more, we had plenty to share with someone who had no one and nothing.... There were many tears shared over that quote.. I so didn't want to be a member of that 1%!
I promise you, that if you SAY YES, it will be a blessing beyond blessings. I only wish that ALL of you could experience the JOY and the LOVE that we feel each and everyday with our little guy! We can't imagine LIFE without him!"

Well said Gina, I t-totally agree!

Mercy's Home Update!

2011-03-06T15:21:00.000-06:00

Dear Friends and Family, I am typing a blog because I am literally dying to call each and every one of you (that I know personally at least but even still I would wanna chat) and talk for about 3 hours and tell you each and every detail of our journey and hear any detail, even the smallest, that I may have missed about your week, even just the short one I was away. I am way too social for this shut-in lifestyle I am about to have to lead but I know it is what must be done so I will just have to suck it up and know that we will get lots of time in Heaven, please be there, I really do wanna hear and share EVERYTHING.

Ok, so our week, let me try to go quickly, Jesus rocked our world in Ethiopia. It was like His grace fell and never lifted. Two highlights (other than princess, she is a duh) getting to see the boy we sponsor at his boarding school who was living in a dump when I went in July. And two - seeing the look in my man’s eyes right now, he is plotting on how to get back and I am loving every second of seeing him sold out for Jesus and the lost and hurting. He now knows why I was a bit crazy after my return in July. See I did good, short and sweet. Now just think how many more details we could share in 3 hours, ok, moving along…..

*I have to add sharing Jesus with Mercy’s birth mom, I mean is there a high on earth that is better………….NO!

The airport party, sweet Jesus, for the ones of you who could come please know that your love, support, and the sound of those sweet kiddos singing “Jesus Loves Me” was just about more than we could bare. Someone asked me on facebook how I wasn’t crying and the truth is because I think if I had ever started I would have never stopped. And for the ones of you who could not come please know again we totally understand. We know you love us and are praying for us and we are THANKFUL more than you will ever know. I felt HORRIBLE there too not being able to chat with some of you. Some literally I am not even sure that I got to hug your neck and that is not how I like things done. But again, soon, very soon we will catch up, “worst” case in Heaven.

So for the here and now, we are almost 24 hours in, in the U.S. at least and I know everyone wants to know how we are going and after much debate I thought it really would be best that I told you. In the last 24 hours we have had some of the sweetest moments in our lives. Mercy L-O-V-E-S Cross (roll your “r” when you say it and it will sound just like her “Closs). And Cross likewise loves her. He has been the kindest gentleman of a brother and I have had moments where I wanted to just sit in awe of how Jesus has rocked our world. But because we live on this side of Heaven, I knew, somewhere deep down even, that the “fun and games” would probably have to come to a screeching halt. And they did, when we got home last night. Our daughter was sound asleep from the car ride home, I think she was still smiling even from laughing at her brother and then she saw her not-so-bff, Snicker girl. Snick was thrilled to see Mercy but Mercy was not so thrilled to see Snick. We knew that was a possibility because in Ethiopia dogs and pets are not really in the same sentence, especially not INDOOR. We had tried to prepare her with pictures but it was a disaster. An all night disaster, the kind where you think to yourself I am so exhausted that I am beyond the point of making rational decisions and you are praying for Jesus to get you through the night alive. So today, thanks to Jesus and my sweet man, we are alive, we have the house somewhat pulled back together, Mercy will now at least walk on the floor sometimes without even holding your hand but not often and everyone (but me and even Snick) napped. I had that same struggle when Cross was a newborn. I am so tired but I am listening to every single peep to make sure she isn’t crying so I am praying tonight I will get a nice 12 or so hours in and be a new woman tomorrow. This is real life, Mercy is a real orphan, she is from a third world country and she is experiencing joy like none other, but also fear and pain for certain. She is beautiful but she is also a sinner and a two year old one at that.

So as if you have not prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed, I am going to ask for some more. Pray that I know which battles to pick. That tern is almost always used for ones that you don’t pick but those are the “easy” ones. Pray for me on the ones I do have to fight and pray that I “win” in terms of her feeling more safe and secure. Pray for me that I have NO expectations, none, it just works better that way. Pray we lavish Cross with love during this time as well. That is a very hard balance but so far God is nudging us often in that area and I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit speaking, man am I thankful. And finally, pray for Mercy girl. Pray her mama isn’t selfish and stays home until she feels at ease. Pray she sleeps good, at night and at naps. She HAS GOT to be exhausted, especially considering she has been on a different time zone for her entire life. And pray she feels Jesus, even more than mommy and daddy, He is really the only one that can truly comfort.

We love you guys and we promise, if time allows and I am not neglecting my two, very small disciples, I will write as often as I can because there will be no shortage of stories that I am certain!

K

Mercy Girl is Coming Home............

2011-02-27T21:05:00.002-06:00

Hey Friends and Family-

We have received the most wonderful news that we are going to be free to fly and go get our girl in the next few weeks. With that I so desperately wanted to sit down and say hello and begin to tell about 200 God stories in one short post if humanly possible. I know once we begin to travel and come home to what I have been jokingly calling “the commotion” (which may be my new nick name for Cross and Mercy girl) it could be a while before I post, at least with any depth. I promise to post pictures and such as soon as possible but for now know that we are beyond honored and humbled to share this journey with you. You have made it so exciting and God has used so many of you in a million ways to push us along even when we couldn’t believe it was all really going to happen for ourselves. So………let’s get to praisin!

PAID IN FULL………That’s where we will begin. I don’t care what you are talking about, “paid in full” just has a nice ring to it. But when it is in regards to an adoption, it is a MIRACLE. I really don’t even know where to begin with this God story but basically, in a nut shell, we owed the agency $7,000 and we were utterly exhausted of fundraising. Even though we had come so far, that last mountain just seemed way too big to climb. Then my man got a phone call from some our dearest friends on earth, and with that…………PAID IN FULL!!!!!!! It brought us to our knees, to tears, and to total speechlessness. HE DID IT! He answered our prayer! He has done exceedingly, abundantly, more than all we could have asked, thought, or imagined. We are still having one last local fundraiser at an awesome place called Swirls Art Studio to raise the final funds for her readoption here in the states https://swirlzart.com/classes/hold/paisley-cross-0312/index.php but there are still no words to say how we feel knowing that God has used HIS PEOPLE to pay for our girl's way home! We are humbled and we thank you all, whether you bought one set of beads or a t-shirt, a plane ticket, or if you gave a gigantic chunk of change, you have paved the way for an orphan to have a chance at life!

Once we get home………That is probably our greatest area of unknowns so I guess basically we are asking for lots of grace and lots of prayers. Our first goal is to try to stay pretty low key and withdrawn for the first two weeks. We are dealing with a very delicate situation because we are adopting a toddler and we know our daughter does something called “mommy shop”. This means that her precious heart will cling to anyone that will put her on their hip and we know there will be a very large line of people that would hip her with the blink of an eye. With that we are asking that once we do reemerge from hiding that people love her, hug her, but that they try to not meet any of her needs and not pick her up, even when her precious arms are open and her big brown eyes melt your heart into an oblivion. This will have to apply even to our closest family members as well so know it is breaking our hearts to even ask. Jeremy and I are going to attempt to be her sole need meeters, at least for the first 6 months or so, or until we see some great progress or have to make some changes to keep sanity. We really pray that if we sow this time into her that she will know that she knows that mommy and daddy aren’t going anywhere and that she can rest assured that her needs will from now on be met. Thank you ahead of time for your understanding and your grace for when we say one thing but end up doing another. We are going to take it one simple day and one simple week at a time. We have no expectations. We are just going to try to pray through this, seek God’s wisdom, and fall forward because we know at times we are certainly going to fall.

Airport Party…Once we get an exact date for travel we are planning on having a “welcoming party” at the airport. Please email me if you would like to get on this detail list for sure. We are praying that this will not traumatize our sweet girl and we are saying ahead of time that we will have been flying for two solid days by that point so we may look and act like we have been hit by a train so please give us lots of grace in that as well. Maybe don’t “rush us” or chant Mercy-Mercy as we walk down the terminal. (That’s what I would do if I were in your shoes.) Also, hugs and holding will certainly be welcomed there as she meets her new family and friends but please give her lots of grace if she “shuns you”. That will actually be a good sign for attachment but maybe a sad moment for those of you who have prayed that baby girl all the way home.

And finally……..Jesus! There are not enough words for me to tell you about the grace Jesus has given us over this past month but specifically over this past week. Sometimes He calls you to hard stuff, way out of your comfort zone, and way out of your experienced realm of faith. But with those callings, He give you a WHOLE lot-a grace and a WHOLE lot of His presence, like to the point where it is t-totally worth it. I have never “felt” God like I have this week. I have never had Him answer SO many prayers, even sometimes before I knew to pray them. I have never seen His hand in EACH AND EVERY detail like I have this week/month and finally I have never ever been so madly in love with my Savior as I am this day. Three years of a wilderness will certainly make you know the taste of living water when it comes rushing in and I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. He was working through those years, molding two crazy, prideful, naive, Christians, in an attempt to get them to look more like Christ. I have no idea if we really do look more like Him, but what I do know is that He is faithful, trustworthy and working, even when it appears He has left the building. So follow Him gang, follow Him radically until the day you cross over into eternity. He is beyond worthy!!! We love you all!

J, K, C and soon to be in person, M

One last shot......................

2011-02-19T11:58:00.003-06:00

Hey guys, I have a few minutes on the REAL internet so I wanted to say a quick hello. My son is playing Wii and striking everyone out which is so darn cute and also buying me some quick typing time. Ok.............fundraising.........let's just say that after next month that is a word that I really NEVER want to hear again for possibly the rest of my life. I say that but we all know if I see a need (and I really already have one in mind regarding my girl's orphanage but we won't go there right now) I will be back on the train. BUT as for now, after many many months of fundraising both for Hope and for Mercy girl, I am ready for God to just go ahead and do a miracle and let's be done already............that will actually be called Heaven but you guys know what I mean. We are too far in to apply for any more grants and we have ONE MONTH and ONE WEEK to pay our girl OFF.........so.......fundraising it is! Our last and hopefully not least fundraiser will be held March 12th at the Swirlz Art Studio in Clarkville at 10:00 a.m. This place never did much for me just to be totally honest because I am NOT ARTSY, but a group went a few weeks ago and I had the best time and then a great friend reminded me that you can do private parties as fundraisers and I knew God was smiling big saying "come on, you can do ONE MORE". So here I am, telling you about ONE MORE! Possibly begging you to come if you are in remote driving distance and praying that we will have the best girl's brunch ever and that we will all come out with a beautiful Canvas Cross to boot. Please take a look at this link with details and please please invite your friends. Grab some gals, tell them it is time to do something fun for a change and come support our girl!

https://swirlzart.com/classes/hold/paisley-cross-0312/index.php

This is great for gals of all ages and there will be food worth having and door prizes worth getting!! Please pray for houses to sell, God to lead people to give, and for 35 fun ladies to come get their swirl on March 12th so that we can knock this thing out and move on with life!!!!!!! Ok, now he is bowling and that is even more cute. I think I better get off while I am ahead! Love you guys!!!!!

K

t-shirts and other misc.....

2011-02-18T06:43:00.000-06:00

Hey guys, I am writing on my tiny blackberry screen as we are still internetless. I just wanted to say hello and MAKE SURE that anyone who ordered a Mercy T with that last batch has received their shirt. I am going to start selling all the extras tomorrow if I don't hear of any errors. I think all the extras are sold other than a 4-t and a children's size 8. I still have no real news on our travel other than the U.S. Embassy has called Mercy's mom in for an interview. Although we hate the hold up we desire for the adoption process to be audited per say, we just hate being the ones who got "picked" but we know God's timing is perfect! Regardless I only have one more week left at Hope which is certainly bitter sweet! I love my job and LOVE my coworkers but there is no gal on earth who loves "a new season of life" more than me! I love you guys dearly! I thank you for your prayers, please do pray all goes well with the birth mother and that we get a date to travel sooner than later! We are also still praying that God will do a great miracle and that we will be able to pay the last $7,000 to our agency VERY soon! That is all this tiny keyboard can handle for now! Hoping great news is coming soon!!!!
K

Update.........finally

2011-02-07T09:55:00.001-06:00

Good Morning Blog World, I write to you this a.m. after a wonderful weekend of Purity Balling! Working with the Father Daughter Purity Ball is absolutely one of the greatest honors I have had to date and the entire weekend was absolutely wonderful. I only have a few minutes to chat before a certain little 3 year old demands the FULL attention of his mama and that attention he certainly deserves. I just knew everyone was wondering if we had ANY NEWS and the answer is still NO. I promise I will write the second I get some news but as for now I have some prayers while we await some praises.

First in that prayer list is for favor. I cannot handle nor am I capable of going into lots of details about the U.S. Embassy and Ethiopia right now but all I will say is that there are some hold ups. I very selfishly wish these hold ups had not come in the exact month that we await an Embassy date but they did, they are. We have several friends who had the same court date as us and they are having some major concerns so please pray for great favor over our babies to get permission to come home. Satan is the lowest of the low and will use any and all means of trying to keep these children from a loving home, nutrition and medical care, but our God is greater, stronger and certainly higher than any other. Pray that God will “hear our cries” and work supernaturally to make certain we cross this last major hurdle and get our children HOME!

My second prayer is for finances. We found out last week that we did NOT get that other grant so we are kind of back to square one in the sense of the $7,000 remaining balance on our agent account. We also need about $1,000 more for travel, so as of today we are praying for God to provide $8,000 which still honestly seems like a miracle in itself after starting at a $30,000 prayer request. A friend said something recently that has so stuck with me, she said “we have to let the people know of our need so that God can use them to meet it.” So, please know that if any of you feel led to give we would be honored and your gift WILL BE a tax deductible donation if made out to “Lifesong for Orphans”. We had SO hoped this grant would seal the deal, but God has not chosen to use those means. Please pray we know our part and trust Him with His! It has never been our desire to ask anyone for money but it has been so awesome to know that God has used the body of Christ to raise almost $22,000 with only $3,000 coming from a grant. That is miraculous and I am so thankful for every penny that has been donated. I knew when I saw our daughter for the very first time that we could not get her home on our own; it would take a miracle and a team of believers. Please, if there is any way possible you can help us with this last part, it is a real need for a real child. We are doing everything in our power to get our personal finances in order for me to stay home once she arrives, at least for a season, so know we are certainly not sitting with money in the bank, asking for your help. We are being as wise and as frugal as we can possibly be on our end as we try to prepare for her arrival.

So that is that, favor and finances but man has God been gracious with the peace. I actually studied peace this morning in my Beth Moore “Breaking Free” and thought just how supernatural this peace really does feel. I have laundry to do, t-shirts to mail out this week (just waiting on a call that they are in and ready). I have dusting to do and a follow up shot to take for my vaccinations. I have lunches to pack and beds to make. But most of all, I have Jesus on the throne that owns the cattle on a thousand hills and can tell the U.S. Embassy what to do in one gentle whisper. If our God is for us, than what can ever stop us! That is the truth that I am most aware of this a.m. We do our part to follow God and obey this calling, and He will do His part to see it come to pass! I love you all dearly!

Kelly

A possible update, technology permitting..........

2011-01-24T19:12:00.006-06:00

Hello dear friends from one starved social media queen. First the internet was out at our house, then canceled and then over the weekend my one last tie to the internet world, my cell phone, went on the blink. For those of you who have had the torture of texting with me this weekend know that the aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa is stuck. It also beeps when I am trying to talk and my facebook is officially off the list as well. I often wonder what God is teaching me but as for now all I know is that I do have a lot on my plate and He is removing distractions quickly.

Adoption update, NONE. Yes that is correct, no word on an Embassy date. I am unplugged from any other details and for now I figure it is just as well. I'll eventually get an email that has a date and a "book your ticket" message and I will rejoice and book. For now, I am "controlling what I can" by a full fledge nesting experience. Mercy girl has a closet full of clothes and after this weekend (Lord willing) when my sweet mama comes to help me she will have one clean house to call home. I have needed to do a deep clean forever and I figure this is just as good of a time as any. We have made the office a play room and after a few last boxes make their way to our shed that job will be complete as well. Things are all coming together.

As far as the money side of things go, Jesus rocks. We DID get one grant for $3,000 which will bring our final total owed to our agency down to $7,000 which is a MIRACLE. Also, please pray lots because I totally forgot that the grant we got the "no" from last time has a policy to where you can apply 3 times so we are PRAYING the 3rd times the charm. I know the Lord will provide one way or another, I just want to tie a bow on that grand miracle for certain. We are still probably $2,000 away from covering our final travel including Mercy's visa and Jeremy's shots. We have money set aside (thanks to so many of you) for those plane tickets but as you know last minute may mean an exchange for an arm and a leg.

So there we go, I actually feel reconnected with the "real" world already. On my "feelings" side which I hate to even bring into play because they are a boat tossed at sea more often than I would ever want to admit. Basically I feel a bit like I have put a wall up, whether it is healthy or not, just to get through the wait. Jeremy and I both say this still doesn't really feel like it is going to happen or that it is real. I remember that same feeling with court and then one simple email made it all real and very quickly. I sort of feel like I am playing with doll clothes but I am certain I can say that I am loving me some pink. I almost took a picture the other night to share with you guys a laundry basket full of pink. It was gloriously beautiful. I really do promise pictures again one day, but I feel like we have a great win every time I check an email these days so cute blog picutes may have to be enjoyed by scrolling down until I am an official stay at home mom.

Until then I am a fundraising, purity ball planning, crazy wild boy chasing, cooking, cleaning and loving me some Jesus kind of gal. God gave me an amazing weekend with 3 worship times which brought this poor, needy girl back up to level. I am despereate but I think that really is best!

K

Last Chance for Mercy Girl T's

2011-01-18T12:41:00.002-06:00

Hey everyone, I just wanted to send out one more reminder that this is the LAST call for Mercy Girl T's. We are going to order the shirts Friday a.m. so I will take orders up until about 5 on Thursday and then I need to get my ducks in a row to make the last request! If you have just mentioned to me that you wanted one but never sent me an actual size by all means please please send me a size for certain! Thank you SO very much! We are seeing the 2nd trip travel fund grow slowly but surely!!!!!! Have a great week!

bullockfamily77@gmail.com

NOW What?????

2011-01-12T20:04:00.002-06:00

Dear Friends and Family,

Now that you have all had the awesome blessing of "meeting" our sweet Mercy girl, I wanted to get on and give everyone a MUCH needed update. That step (court) had to be taken before we could honestly breathe, much less think too far ahead, so thank you for bearing with my silence.

To begin, the obvious question, What Happens Next? Our next step includes waiting on 3 very important documents (one of which includes a birth certificate) and to be given what is called an Embassy Date. To be honest I am really not sure what all that involves other than the fact that once we have that we can fly our sweet baby girl HOME! We are still praying that it will be February but we have no guarantee. J and I are both so blessed to work at places where they love us and understand that we may have to drop everything and leave somewhat last minute so all is well in that area and obviously our sweet boy has more grandparents and family friends than he knows what to do with, he'll be JUST fine, possibly a bit spoiled rotten but nothing less would be expected. So that's the skinny on the "next step". Sidenote-I will be done working at Hope once we go to Ethiopia so I will officially be a full-time mom when we return which takes away large quantities of stress on my part. Thank you JESUS for this grace!

Another huge question is, HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING ON FUNDS?? Well, we have passed halfway, over $15,000 raised which is a total miracle. We are waiting to hear from 2grants and if we were approved for both grants (for the full amounts possible to be dispersed) we would be able to pay our agency in full. You can certainly imagine how much we are praying these two grants will both come through. If they don't I have NO plan B so pray for me to trust Jesus regardless.
*I found out after I wrote this that we did NOT get one of the grants so please keep praying, that was $4,500 stamped NO!
We ARE also still in need of funds for our last trip. We are looking at around $4,000 in plane tickets alone (including a sweet girl's ticket to come home) and that is not counting room and board. All of that leads me to my next point before I stay here too long and panic.

T-shirts, Beads and Earrings- God has been SO gracious and we have sold close to 5- HUNDRED beads. I am still in shock with that as well. We do have about 40 or so more (and probably 20 earrings as well) and we certainly are praying those last few sell. So if you wanted some beads and/or earrings and want to stock up for a few Birthday presents or the PERFECT Mother's Day presents, by all means email away. Another huge blessing some friends have done is to "take a bag of ten" and sell them to your friends and family. I have two more bags up for grabs if you are local and want to try to sell some to your circle of influence that would be GREAT! Also the t-shirts, are SO stinkin cute! If you have a shirt already please comment and let everyone know that they really are THAT soft and that I am not exagerating. The kid ones are possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life so please please buy one for every sweet lady you know. (See the post below for the gray Mercy T.) I am going to make the final order for the t's on Friday the 21st of January because I have to make sure I have them back in time to mail them out for the airport party (more details to come for that, it will certainly be it's own post). Also, if you have ordered a t-shirt and have not received it yet I promise I will have them to you guys by the end of the month. I am just trying to do one last bulk order to get the best price.

Beads $25
Earrings $15
Set $35
T-Shirts $20
bullockfamily77@gmail.com

Another thing that I promise to talk about in much more detail in the future is toddler attachment. We certainly had some LARGE wake up calls over the first trip in regards to attachment so I promise to offer all the details I can. We may be doing some things that look crazy to the general public but we promise there is a "why" and we will share the why, who, what, when, where and how. When that time comes what we will need more than anything will be prayers for tons of wisdom. Our plans change daily now, I can't imagine what it will look like once she gets here, but know regardless that our deepest desire is to do what is best for Mercy (and Cross and my sanity just to be totally honest).

Rooms and Cross- So many of you have asked about our sweet guy and I want you to know that I can see God's grace all over that situation for certain. I have worried that we would just talk talk talk and he would eventually decide that she was make believe, but with the bed up it is certainly becoming more real. They are sharing a room for lots of reasons so I promise to share some pics of their sweet matching beds. Cross opened a drawer the other day and there was a pink brush in it from my shower and he said, "that's Mercy's brush" with NO prompting. That was very encouraging for me. We are trying to think through every detail of his transition once we return as well so pray pray pray that we are faithful and that he feels secure in our love regardless of all the changes. I am also working hard at some back tracking "parent with multiples in mind" so I am trying to set things up so that we will have some sort of order and structure when we return so that everyone will kind of know what to expect out of life! Just PRAY! I am asking humbly because we are going to need it like never before.

And finally, THANK YOU!!!!!!!! Where on earth and how on earth could I begin to say thank you, for believing, praying, giving, buying, encouraging, and praising Jesus along the way! We love you dearly!

J and K

Introducing.................................

2011-01-11T11:36:00.002-06:00

Mercy Bullock

For the Lord has given us beauty for ashes! Thank you for your prayers dear friends! She is OURS!

Update........

2011-01-06T15:04:00.002-06:00

Hey guys, so sorry, I meant to post this a.m. but I came to work and totally forgot, speaking of work, if you are local and know or have a sweet daughter please check out www.friendsofclarksvillehope.com. The Father Daughter Purity Ball registration is up and rocking.

Ok, sorry, update, court did NOT happen yesterday at all so it is rescheduled for next Tuesday. We have a total peace, God is so in control, He knows the timing, the overall plan. Love you guys and thank you tons for your prayers!

Have a great weekend, we will be moving bedrooms, cleaning out, putting away cute girl clothes!!!!!!

Kelly

Happy New Year Blog World

2011-01-01T07:31:00.004-06:00

Hey gang, I know I have been super behind with updates but at least I am getting on to say hello to you guys for all major holidays. Today I am counting that as a total win! I am writing to you from a 7:30 a.m., still not so caught up on my sleep stage, this dreary New Year's morn. My sweet dog has been keeping me up at night along with my sweet (not feeling so hot) little boy, so to say the least, I am still a bit behind on my sleep. I think I was asleep by 8 p.m. last night for some very not-so-rowdy New Year's Eve festivities. I was the happiest gal on earth with the early bed time and the hubs was too so that could mean we are officially growing old but just too tired to care.

For a bit of an update on sweet Mercy girl, first off leaving her proved to be another challenge. We were pretty certain that her defense mechanisms went high when she could detect that something was changing again as we were packing to take her back. I think the entire trip was just a huge reality check of the true difficulties that lie ahead, however, we are certain that the joys will far outweigh the hardships in the long run. I kept telling myself "everything in life worth having takes work". A marriage takes work, babies (adopted or not) take tons of work, a house takes work, a career takes work.....you get the point.

In regards to court (and the lack of pictures here to follow), we did NOT pass court. That was heart breaking and emotional all in itself but everything should be resolved and good to go this week, Jan 5th, when the lawyer resubmits the paperwork with a corrected error in terms regarding her birth father's status. He has not come back into the picture by any means so there are no worries there, just an error in paperwork they could not ignore (which in the end I am thankful for their diligence to detail). So, hopefully this week we will be receiving an email or a call saying all is well, "she is ours". We were also waiting on a document on this side of things that arrived in the mail yesterday afternoon, praise the Lord, so hopefully, with God's great grace, we will still be set for a "sometime in February" pick up date. Regardless that date is not assigned until a somewhat last minute moment so we will just prepare as though it will be early February and trust God's perfect timing.

Life in general is a bit off kilter as I start this New Year's Day, but I am trusting God has great plans for us in 2011. The time travel and absence of Christmas in addition to lack of sleep all combine to make things all a bit odd and/or off. I am avoiding questions about my "feelings" at all cost because they can simply not be trusted at this moment. What I KNOW is this, I will need Jesus in 2011. I will need to cling to His Word in 2011. I have a lot to be thankful for from 2010. I have a lot to look forward to in 2011. At one point in the trip I reminded myself, Jesus has to be my everything, regardless and always. He had to be my everything in the lowest moments of Ethiopia and He will have to be my everything today, tomorrow, and in the weeks and months to come in order for me to find true joy.

I have also been reminded this week of the joys of following Him and the devastation of not. I want you guys to all make a pact with me, that this year we will follow Him more than ever. I don't dare want us to try to be "strong" Christians. , No I want us to be madly in love, totally sold out, surrendered Christians. Weak ones, in full need of our Savior will really be our best bet! So in 2011, spend more time with Him, make sure you have plans to be plugged into a Bible Study where you will get the Word and awesome fellowship all in the same place. Seek His will and calling for you and if you are bored with life, reevaluate. And finally if you are weary, do not give up in doing good so that we will reap a harvest! 2011 is looking bright, not because of circumstances and whatnot, but because the King of the Universe has come to give hope!

The Bullocks love you dearly!
K

Merry Christmas from Ethiopia

2010-12-25T09:10:00.002-06:00

Good Morning and Merry Christmas Blog World- I am writing from sunny Ethiopia where it is at least 70 degrees and I am a bit jealous of our TN snow that I heard all about on Facebook. Facebook works great here, blogs not so much, so I am actually facebooking you right now and my sweet hubs will copy and paste it for me. I wanted to give you a quick update and if I pass court he will handle the pics from there just so there will be no delay in cuteness. First thank you for your prayers, Mercy's fever was gone by the time we got here so now we are just nursing a runny nose. Also, her Ethiopian name that we can never pronouce is Shhhh-why-a (long a) as a random fyi. She is TINY, 2-t and a size 5 or 6 shoe. (As a side note when I picked her up she had on like a 6-9 month outfit :( All the shoes I brought are too big. She is so cute and little which works out great because she does love to be held and snuggle. We are on the 3rd floor of our guest house and I am getting a workout carrying her up and down. She is playing calmly beside me right now like a complete angel. We had a very hard day the first day so I cannot tell you how relieved I am now. She was scared to death to leave the orphanage and then was very defiant. You don't want to come to another country and traumatize a child and then have to be stern with them but God kept telling me over and over, you are the mama, she does not know what is best for her, you have to show her. That was so hard and topped with the fact that I was utterly exhausted from not sleeping much from London to Ethiopia just almost sent me over the edge. I messaged J and told him I was going to take a nap before I made any major decisions about whether or not I could handle life and it worked. She needed a nap too I now know. She LOVES her new (well probably only) sippy cup. She is super smart, will repeat most English words and says Mommy, Daddy, and Cross (with a rolled r which is the cutest thing ever). We were looking at the photo book and she out of the blue pulled it up to her face and kissed Cross. My friend Whitney and I almost cried. It was precious! Her skin is very dry and I think her tummy is off but other than that things seem good. It is just hard knowing the lack and loss that she has had. It breaks your heart knowing that she was really scared to death to leave the orphanage to go to (what she has no idea of) a better life. I will be so glad when J and I are back here for our final pick up. I never want her to wonder again. Ok, signing off now so I can share the internet. Love you guys to death and can't wait for you to meet our angel! Merry Christmas!

Bullocks are Better

2010-12-21T20:58:00.002-06:00

Hey guys, I just had to get on real quick and thank you a TON for your prayers. I felt them possibly more than I have ever felt prayer before in my life. I had a good day yesterday and a great day today. I was smiling so big in the little girl section of Old Navy today that you would have thought I had hit the jackpot and I HAVE. Quick update cause I need to go hug my man's neck, London and flight=problem. Pray Pray, my flight has not officially been canceled so just PRAY. Secondly there was a little miscommunication about where I was going to stay (aka they don't have my name down and I booked it in October) SO pray God puts me right where I am supposed to be and pray that I am a big girl and a sweet girl about it. Finally, I just read a blog for a group that got home this week from Ethiopia and there is a precious little story about my girl and a picture that will give you a small taste of what is to come. *See Link Below* Oh how I wanted to scream MOMMY IS COMING baby girl. Oh and one last prayer, a friend of mine who now lives there visited Mercy today and she is SICK AND she feel and bonked her head. I have never been so motivated to get on a 16 hour flight in all my life. Please pray she is totally healed and that I can get to her sooner rather than later. I am praying it is just a cold but without treatment............oh just pray! Ok, gotta go! Love you guys! Will keep you "posted" hahahaha Get it! hahhahah

http://weloveourlucy.blogspot.com/2010/12/our-last-day-in-ethiopia.html

K

Emotional.....................

2010-12-19T19:15:00.003-06:00

Hey Blog World,

I have about 451 million things to do in the next 3 days so I am doing what any normal human would be doing in my situation, blogging. What a great use of my time but I knew you of all people wouldn't mind and wouldn't judge me. So on to my title, topic at hand. I told Jeremy this morning "I think I may cry a lot at church today" (I am sure he thought to himself O GREAT) but he nicely said "why" and then I told him what every man loves to hear "I am just feeling a bit emotional" and honestly that word bit is a bit of a lie. To be totally honest I feel excitement, fear, anxiety, thrill, panic, amazement, the list could go on and on and on. I want to cry my eyeballs out one minute and the next I want to jump for joy. One minute I want to run get on a plane this second and the next I want to run away altogether. One minute I think A DAUGHTER, MY FIRST DAUGHTER, and then the next minute I am thinking, could this all really be happening?

People keep asking me as their eyes gleam with joy, "are you so excited?" I want so badly to say YES and sometimes I just do, but really I feel like saying, "no I am freaking out to be totally honest." I am flying very far away without my husband. I am leaving my son for Christmas who is also sick of all things. I have only met this child 2 short times and now she is about to be our daughter, I sure hope she likes us. And then the OCD planner in me wants things all organized and perfectly planned and that is NOT humanly possible in Ethiopia and to top it all off there is 1 FOOT of snow currently in London. I don't even know where to begin with that.

But the the good news of all this emotion is, I have Jesus. In the morning I will awake, I will drink hot chocolate, I will talk to the King of the Universe and He will calm my fears. Today at church our pastor got up and said (very loudly I might add) "do not be afraid". I thought how nice it was for him to give just little ol me a perfect and timely word. I felt sorry for all the other people who were there and didn't need that word because I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had sent it just for me. So I (by His amazing grace) am going to attempt to take it one moment at a time. I am going to throw some things in a suitcase and come Wednesday at about 6 p.m. I am going to walk on a plane and then there will be no turning back. I will do it afraid. I will obey this calling. I will take whatever medicine is needed to calm my anxious nerves and I am going to go get my legacy regardless of my fears and reservations. I was born to mother this child. I was created to give her a life her precious mother could not give. I can do all things (including meet her mother, speaking of that) through Christ who gives me strength. God will give me the words to say while I am in court, I will pass court, I will NOT listen to satan's lies, I will bring that baby girl home soon and forever!

So while we are on the subject and while it is EXTREMELY obvious that I might need a "bit" of prayer, let me just go ahead and do what I really do best and just make you all a nice/neat list!

1. Pray that I will get what NEEDS to get done, done, and walk away. When I leave town I obsess over having everything perfectly set up for Cross and J (can we say CONTROL FREAK). I am partly just so thankful that Jeremy is so gracious to let me go on trips and I want to make his life so easy, but he is a BIG boy and he doesn't need me to (or ask me to for that matter) buy enough food for a month or lay out Cross' clothes for a week. They can handle it without me just fine!
2. Pray for my travel, I am not thrilled about our numerous layovers (other than the fact that it assures me some better meals along the way) because of the snow issue. I am out of my comfort zone ENOUGH as it is not to have to rework the flights or have delays and stay in OTHER foreign lands where there is not a guest house and interpreter waiting for me.
3. Details, there are 101 million details that I do not know right now and I am not the best at that "fly by the seat of your pants" kind of living that Ethiopia oh so loves. It is good for me I know, but pray I am FLEXIBLE yet not clueless!
4. My men, pray for my sweet men, pray J has an awesome Christmas, pray that Cross is not sick any longer and that he has the best time ever with Daddy.
5. My meeting with the birth mother. When things really freak me out I ignore them in my mind, it is an art really, but in a few days I will not be able to ignore the fact that I will possibly get to hug the woman who bore and so graciously "gave up" her daughter in order to make sure she had better nutrition. Mercy also has an older brother and I just want them to see Jesus. I want them to know we are forever indebted to their loss. I want them to find hope for their future through the hope of hers.
6. My travel and my friend's travel (pray a million blessings over her for going with me and her sweet family (she is an only child) who is letting her go and miss Christmas). Last time I didn't do so hot. I was so sick on the way home that I honestly at one point prayed to die. I knew satan wanted to torture me with the flight so that I would not be brave enough to make it again (twice technically). I remember saying out loud, try as hard as you want satan but if God opens the door for us to come back and get Mercy, I will make this flight again, I WILL! I need to eat more, a lot more than I did last trip. I need to take more meds, a lot more than I did last trip. And finally, I need to move around more which the layovers will allow for certainly.
7. And finally, keep praying for the funds, we have two grants that will be looking at our family this month. Pray that our paperwork has unmerited favor on it and that we get the fullest grant amounts possible. That would basically complete our fundraising and with her coming home in less than 2 months that would be huge! We had an amazing blessing this weekend that I will tell you more about later, but in one day, one ordinary day, we received over $1300.00. That is a Jesus surprise for certain!

Ok, I am getting off and probably going to snuggle tight with my sweet husband in order to get in a few more together nights. He is the best man, the best husband, and by far the best daddy on earth. Little Mercy girl has no idea the blessing God is giving her with that man. She is going to be the absolute love of his life I know and I can't wait to witness every single moment! I love you guys and I can't thank you enough for your prayers! Next post.......................................will be PICTURES!!!!!!! Stay tuned!

K

The Wilderness and the Fight to Emerge

2010-12-10T04:53:00.009-06:00

*Hey guys, just a quick note about adoption stuff. I leave for court in one short week and then as long as all goes as planned, J and I will pick Mercy girl up and bring her home in February. We have raised $15,000 (can we all say THANK YOU JESUS) and we are waiting to hear back from 2 grants so pray pray! Also, beads, if you need beads, especially for Christmas presents, let me know right away. If you are local I can meet you and if you are not I can mail them out this week in plenty of time for Christmas. They make beautiful gifts if I do say so myself! I will do another t-shirt order in January so it is not too late for those either. Love you all! Ok, back to the topic at hand...........

Hello Blog World,

This is the 3rd time I have sat and attempted this post so we will see if it actually comes to fruition this go around. This is a hard topic for me to type and although I have several myths about adoption that I still want to post, I know that this post must come first. It is my real life, my real journey, my real pain. I have avoided the topic at times in an attempt to not be so wo is me, but I know deep down that it will minister to you and I pray deep down that you will know my heart ahead of time, people have lived through much worse, but this is my cup and it hasn't always been pleasant.

To give you a bit of background, especially for those I have only been dear friends with through cyberspace, I did not grow up with a family who was madly in love with Jesus. I have awesome parents who both did the best they could with the dish they had been served, but I suffered a lot and I mean a LOT of heart ache growing up and the previous part was not one bit my fault yet the 2nd half was almost solely. At the ripe young age of 23 I was living in Clarksville, freshly out of college, and I had an encounter with Jesus that has rocked my life ever since. He met me in my deepest pit of sin, said enough is enough, and He rescued me. From that time up until Cross was born, God showered down His blessings upon me, almost 24/7. Within weeks of overcoming my last addiction I met the man of my dreams. That handsome guy you see at the top of the blog is my husband of 6 years, Jeremy. God gave us a beautiful home. Jeremy got a great job right out of college, I got a great job at Hope Pregnancy Center, and then finally, the surprise of our life, little Cross was created and we couldn't have been more happy. Now please hear me say that those years were not gloriously perfect. We have both said many times before that year number one of our marriage felt often times a tad too close to HELL. We were two people with plenty of baggage and we worked through so much, but over all we were just so incredibly blessed. I was so in love with my Father. I loved life. I knew He had a GREAT plan for our lives, the list could go on and on.

And then 2008 hit. We had our share of financial problems in 2007, but things were okay, Jeremy was in seminary, we were pregnant, but God had provided. I really don't remember all hell breaking lose until 2008. In one short year we had a son, moved as far east as the states would allow, battled loneliness and the start of my adrenal fatigue, went from an adorable house to a rental that was not so glamorous to say the least and then ran head on into the largest decision of our lives. Jeremy and I both felt God was calling him to resign from his current job without knowing what we were going to do next. So we did obey but with great expectations of the doors that were going to swing wide open. Except...........they didn't. It seemed more like a crack in the wall was the only opening we could find.

Let me back up and tell you another tiny detail, I was also newly pregnant, again, and sick as a dog at the time. I remembered this mom who had joyfully made all of Cross' baby food, who had probably never even let his diaper get too wet, and now I was laying on the couch 24/7, the house a complete wreck and I was dumping a box of Cheerios on the ottoman for Cross as a snack. I remember God sending my precious friend over to my house and her pulling me into a chair while she scurried around and changed Cross' diaper, fed him a real meal, gave him a bath and started our dinner. I was a HOT MESS!

Then to move this portion of our story along, we moved back to Clarksville, I lost my sweet baby boy, Cade. One year later I lost my dearest friend Shawnna to breast cancer, and all along Jeremy never found another job that would pay the bills. That precious man applied for literally hundreds of jobs and not one, NOT ONE, came through. So he took the only jobs he could find making very little money (not much more than minimum wage) and working extremely long hours just trying to make ends meet.

I remember hours and hours of begging God to reveal where we had gone wrong. I would have turned and repented from a tooth ache if it would have stopped the insanity of what honestly felt like a curse. I remembered Joyce Meyer talking about a wilderness, hers with finances had lasted 3 years, THREE WHOLE YEARS, I remember specifically thinking I would just DIE if ours lasted that long. During all this time too I was (and have been) in constant battle with a new term that is oddly growing dear to my heart, adrenal fatigue. I was diagnosed with this in North Carolina, given what I for sure referred to as my happy pill, an all natural supplement, and I was good to go in a matter of weeks. After losing the baby it came on again in overwhelming force. I literally could not stay awake for much longer than 3 hours at a time. I would get up, go for a few hours and then drag myself to the couch for Cross' 3 hour nap, then I would muster up everything my body could give to make it from the deathly long stretch from 3-7p.m. and then I would crawl in the bed for the night. This time I made the possible mistake of going to the "real doctors" who after hundreds of dollars in medical expenses (that we obviously couldn't spare) I was told that I was perfectly healthy. I thought that was great news and all except for the fact that I could hardly DRIVE without falling asleep. I went back on the supplements and again, a million times better in a matter of weeks. Not to mention and this is worth mentioning because it is a huge deal, especially for a woman, I lost several pounds in a weeks time as well. When you are exhausted, you eat to try to fuel yourself to go on with life and when that was fixed, pounds literally fell off. Really that whole topic was another journey in my wilderness, no money for clothes, hair, couldn't get rid of weight. I felt horrible inside and then daily I stared at what seemed like horrible on the outside to match. I remember days thinking to myself, "what has happened, I used to be so positive, I used to enjoy life". This was another sign of adrenal fatigue and now after just getting my hands on a book to read about it, I had gone through almost ever single stress trigger that was listed, tragic loss, major life change and a constant stressor (sometimes financial), can I say check, check, check.

So with all of that, I have now stared in the face what I am certainly coming to terms with and that has been a wilderness. God has promised me over and over that although we have certainly not been perfect these past few years that we have not rebelled against Him or stepped away from His will. He has shown me a million things, too many to list really, but a few include that we are being tested to make sure our faith will withstand suffering, that we are being humbled and reminded that REAL life is really hard so we will have grace and mercy on others and then certainly, we are not exempt from the curse and the fall. Loss happens, even to good people. Death strikes, even when you pray your little heart out. Life sucks sometimes, even when you are madly in love with Jesus.

And then finally, we are learning the fight to emerge. Good gravy does life often give you a spoonful that will just about make you wanna quit. I have never longed for Heaven so much in my life. I am staring at the decision daily, where will I go from here? I am sure someone else quoted this great phrase and I have read it along the way, but I thought a few months ago, "The greatest successes in your life may be how you emerge from your failures". I look at Joyce Meyer now and think to myself, she doesn't even seem to have ever had a bad day, but I know that is very far from the truth. She put in her time in the hot desert and now she is reaping the harvest. I wanna get to the other side, heck, most days I just want to really believe that there is another side. I have had to force myself to find and then fork out the money to buy the supplements for my fatigue so that I could go on with life and further the Kingdom. I have had to forgive myself for being a not so great mom these last two years of Cross' life. I have been short tempered and just plain tired for the most part, but I can't change the past, I can only change the future. I have to dream again although most days my dreams don't seem to go any further than paying our bills for the current month. I have had to KEEP reading my Bible, KEEP my butt around crazy sold out women, KEEP singing songs of praise in church even when my chest was caving in and then I think most importantly, go rescue this little girl from Ethiopia, even if I think God's timing in the call was a bit odd. I have to obey what He has called me to do, even when I am desperately awaiting other break throughs.

So that is it my friends, even if it seemed long, I can assure you that was a very short account of our recent wilderness. Daily it seems to be disappearing, daily my Spirit tells me we are ALMOST on the other side. I will never probably wish for it to return, but I can say with total certainty, I have grown more in the wilderness than I did in the promise land. I pray I cling to my Savior just as much in the years to come. I pray that when the prosperity is there that I cling to the only One who gives just as closely as I had to cling when He took away. I pray that we exit this season, but I pray that the scar that is left will be a reminder to me as I minister to other women that life is just dang hard. I pray that anyone watching our crazy life unfold will know and remember that there is no greater joy than that of the living Christ. I have said a million times over when satan temped me to turn my back because God didn't seem to be listening that better is one day is His courts than a thousand elsewhere. I have lived well over a thousand elsewhere and I know my best day there couldn't even shine a light on my worst day here. He is it, He is everything, He is worth it!

Kelly

Happy Birthday Handsome.............

2010-12-03T09:06:00.003-06:00

Good Morning Everyone, I wanted to introduce to you our newest 3 year old on the scene. Three years ago today a doctor put this little guy in my arms and things most certainly have not been the same ever since. He is growing into the most handsome young tot and at times using the nicest manners a gal has ever seen. Cross, Mommy and Daddy love you more than you will ever know! We pray you love Jesus madly some day! Thank you for being the perfect, first born, love of our lives! I included a few photos of our rootin tootin cowboy trick or treating! He sealed the deal that day in those cowboy boots. My heart was forever stolen!

Mom and Dad

Happy Thanksgiving Blog World.................

2010-11-25T06:18:00.004-06:00

I hear a sweet little boy in the other room coughing a bit which means this post may or may not ever actually make it to the term published, but we are going to give it an attempt at least. I wanted to say THANK YOU, thank you to all of you who have prayed us through these past few months and really years. It has been a wild ride and never a dull moment around here, but we have been beyond blessed all the same. Our Jesus, who even this morning was gracious enough to give me a personal word to encourage me to truck on one more day, is so much more giving and gracious and patient than I ever deserve. I feel like a slacker in blog land, especially in pictures of the fam (mainly your concern being Cross land) but just know that despite that he is being well taken care of (relatively speaking) here in real life. I feel like every day I am trying to soak him in because I know once there is another tot to trot it will be different, not bad by any means, just different. I want to enjoy his sweet only childness every last second that I can.

We just came off of an amazing get-a-way to Disney. We often feel like the only people on earth who are blessed with such amazing gifts during such hard financial times. My sweet mom blessed her family with a once in a life time kind of trip to Disney and my sweet man made sure we did it 110% all the way. You need a man at an amusement park to make sure you don't just give up and prop your feet up by the pool. Cross rocked and rolled like a champ. We were able to spend time with my precious nephew and sister and my mom who I have so many similarities to that is darn near scary. She and I chatted the morning after we returned at 8:00 a.m. and sure enough we both had our laundry a going. She was nearly 2 loads ahead of me and 37ish years my senior. If you ever wonder where my a.m. personality comes from, the apple certainly does not fall far from the tree. But ask us to do something after say 5 p.m. and we'll bow out without the blink of an eye, but we are southern so we will try to do it politely. I love my mom so. I think as you grow as a mom yourself you forget all of your parent's mistakes and really know that any you don't make yourself will simply be a miracle of Jesus. Mom was ready to start planning a beach trip this summer with Mercy girl and when she said that I stopped for a bit in my tracks. Like this is really happening you guys. We are really adopting a little girl and SOON!

Well, that sweet door just cracked. Mom's ears can tell noises and what they are and what they are not from miles away and I love (most days, ones when coffee and Jesus time have already occurred) the sound of that door a crackin. It means "it's show time" as another early bird hops out of bed. I must go grab him because some certain someone in our house doesn't share the same love for the a.m. and I don't mean Snicker girl. So long blog world and Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Kelly

Shop till ya drop......................

2010-11-12T08:00:00.009-06:00

Hey gang, ok this is our last big official batch of goodies for our fundraising! Just to give you an idea of where we are in our journey called fundraising, thanks to some glorious friends my entire first trip is paid in FULL! We have heard a little back from our grants so we are starting now to work heavily on the $15,800.00 bill to the agency and then we will end things out with raising the funds for our final destination, pick up that sweet baby girl time!

I have a VERY cool announcement to make as you begin shopping - we have been approved for a matching grant which means as long as one is found, ALL of the funds we raise through these sales will be MATCHED! You heard correctly deal lovers, so shop til ya drop and know that we are BEYOND thankful for your blessings!!!!!!!

LOVE,
THE BULLOCKS

Up first are the beautiful Uganda Beads. These can be worn as necklaces or bracelets (my personal favorite with a kiddo). Here are a few photos (modeled by my dear friend) to highlight. They are $25 a piece and come beautifully tagged to make a great Christmas or whatever occasion gift! They are ALL different, but ALL beautiful. They make the most boring sweater look like a fancy new outfit. That is probably my favorite part, how they change an entire outfit and match almost everything. I literally wear mine every day!

Up next we have the Cow Horn Earrings being flown over this week from Ethiopia! They too are all different, but all so fun and you will love knowing you are supporting someone who has been able to use their trade in Ethiopia as well as an adoption. The Cow Horn Earrings are $15 a pair.

If you purchase a Set of Beads and Earrings you will get the most bang for your buck at the discounted price of $35.00 for the set.

And finally, we have what I am calling the Mercy Girl Tee! We were planning to make t-shirts for Mercy's homecoming at the airport and then they were so cute we just had to make sure they were available to whomever might want to partake, even out of towners that will be there in spirit! Let me begin by telling you about the t-shirt itself because the design will speak for itself. The shirt we got for our trip to Africa was the softest shirt EVER so I specifically requested this same kind of t-shirt, they are a little more expensive but worth every single penny because you will actually wear this shirt all the time. I probably wear my Africa one a few times a week (as often as it is clean at least). They are even great for working out because they breath and they are true to size for certain. I bought a medium and could even really do a small. They are NOT the girl cut so they don't cling in to all the things you don't want them clinging into, but because of their material make up they look so much cuter than a boring ol' Tee. Another detail about the t-shirt is that we are doing pre-orders only for this item. We just want to make sure we are wise with our money and that we order just enough in each size to make sure that we are making the most funds possible. As soon as we get to the minimum order for the bulk rate we will order so if you need some for Christmas that may very well be possible, but I probably can't guarantee it until I see how they sell. I also don't have one made up yet so I am just showing you a picture of the design and then a link to the tee so that you can get an idea, but neither will do it justice I know! These shirts are $20 for adult sizes (S, M, L, XL) and youth (2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12) and there may be a small upcharge for larger sizes (2XL and up). A link for the shirts themselves is http://www.americanapparel.net/morephotos/viewer.asp?style=tr401w&n=Unisex%20Tri-Blend%3Cbr%3EShort%20Sleeve%20Track%20Shirt&p=4
*Please excuse the models! You will see what I am talking about! The shirt will be the Athletic Grey.

And finally, how to place an order, just shoot me an email at bullockfamily77@gmail.com and we will get you squared away. We are NOT using paypal if at all possible because that would take away the matching grant aspect. We will discuss details once I know if you are in town or out and then the shipping will depend on how much you order, but it shouldn't be more than a couple of dollars regardless! If you make a HUGE order we will work out a deal on shipping I can promise you that! So..............shop away!!!!!!!!!!!

Myths about adoption...............

2010-11-02T06:46:00.005-05:00

Hello sweet friends. If any of you got through the last long post, you will be thrilled to know that I am going to attempt to take this next topic at hand and present it in bite sizes instead of bowls full. These "myths" are things I am still working through myself and they are going to take a bit of chewing for us all so I wanted you to be able to do just that, chew on them. I am only capable of sharing what God is showing me and please know that I am NOT making any absolute statements along the way. Also, know up front that I do NOT think God calls all people to adopt, any more than I think He calls all people into the ministry (vocational that is) or to one type of church, you get the point. These are just things I have had to wrestle through in the past few months so let me know what you think. November is National Adoption Awareness Month so I thought this was the perfect topic to celebrate during this Thanksgiving Season! Also, I am working on a fun "store" filled with earrings, beads and Mercy t-shirts so keep an eye out for a post and a link on the right of the screen with all of that info! Guilt free shopping, great Christmas presents (ordered from home in your pj's), all the while helping bring a little girl to love, nourishment and safety, what more could you ask for? hahahaha Ok, on to myths, hope you enjoy!

Myth #1 "I can't adopt because I don't have $30,000 sitting in the bank." Well, I can say with confidence, that is a MYTH! I am going to be very honest with you and say that myth was my (our) biggest defense in the 731 reasons the Bullocks could not adopt in this season of life. I will also be very honest and tell you that we did not even MAKE $30,000 last year, so to say adopting in this season seemed ludicrous is an understatement. We told God over and over and over our financial situation and over and over and over He told us He already knew. But after being in Africa and seeing the poverty and knowing that at least if I could get one child here I could darn sure feed and cloth the kid, it was honestly just more than I could bare. My definition of "financially stable" got rocked and I was staring my excuse right in the eye. As far as the large fee of $30,000 for the adoption, God just kept asking me "Do you trust me?" I had trusted him for small amounts of money for years, please give us $1,000 to do this, done, $500 for that, done, but 30,000 dollars..........I don't know. Other myths busted in this area are the fact that very FEW people who adopt have the money and very few people do not fund raise. Even my friend in Franklin has fund raised until they met their needed goal, even if it wasn't for the entire thing. There are grants, interest fee loans, and even that Jesus guy who owns the cattle on a thousand hills!

So let me challenge you, ask yourself, have I dreamed of adopting but used finances as an "excuse". Ask yourself if you would be willing to raise funds (or give up some of your own) to change some one's life. Ask yourself if God is showing you that finances are A part of adoption, but that they do not determine the fate of adoption, He does! Yesterday someone asked me how much it was going to cost and they had the greatest reaction, "Oh, a car!" WOW, how many of us have bought a few of those..................

Just a bit to chew on, to get you thinking, to bust some myths! I can't thank you guys enough for your prayers! Keep praying as we raise funds! Keep praying that the Provider will provide and selfishly for my peace of mind, sooner rather than later! Love you all!

K

FAQ's

2010-10-25T20:36:00.004-05:00

Hey gang, I thought it would be fun to do a little post called Frequently Asked Questions about the adoption. This has all happened SO quickly and because of the mountains of paperwork I have been hiding under I have had very few awesome "catch up" conversations with my girl friends. It seems like groceries, a few days of work, dinners, laundry, and an occasional house cleaning are more than I can handle considering I am also supposed to be raising a child and filling out enough paperwork to write a book and did I mention I have a husband. With all of this I thought a fun update would be at least a little more personal than me falling off the face of the earth. Considering this schedule I greatly look forward to saying good bye to work and hello to stay at home mom land filled with fun memories, coffee dates and play dates with friends and I am also praying for some road trips to make the time with nonstop kiddos loads of fun.

So we'll start there, attachment, that's a word I am not at all familiar with, but will most certainly be learning. Cross was literally attached to me 8 times a day and I stayed at home full time until he was almost 2 and he is attached, we are certain of that. But this sweet baby girl will take much more focus and attention and I know God is going to give me the grace to do it well, rarely does perfect exists this side of Heaven, but I am shooting for well. Toddler adoption takes even more attachment concentration. One thing we are going to attempt is to make certain that at least for the first 6 months she is by our side! I am praying that I am finally going to get my cuddler and that she will get to be the receiver of my much neglected love language for many years to come. I got a husband, touch is last on his love language list, I got a dog, low on hers, I got a son, even lower on his............I think my day is coming. I picture this calm little girl that I can take anywhere because she just wants to snuggle in mommy's lap. Anything past that detail I have no clue. I am going to read tons and I am going to pray gobs

Ok, next question "why a toddler?" Ok, so no one has really asked this out loud, but I know they are asking it in their minds, I would be. The answer is really, because that was what God gave us the desire to have. We were so heart broken when we lost Cade who would have only been 18 (I think) months apart from Cross. Then we started noticing Cross HATING to share or having no clue how to interact with other kids. One day a friend who I am super close with even said, "he needs a sibling" and I said, "I know, I'm trying but it looks like the only way they will be close in age is if we adopt a toddler". That was God. As far as the girl thing, I just knew it was supposed to be a girl. God told me I would meet her at the first orphanage and I did and so far He has confirmed that word with a million open doors. So that's why a toddler girl.

"How is Cross doing with it all" and the answer is most certainly so far so great. He shakes his head yes and smiles if you ask if he is getting a sister. He did rip her new back pack with her name on it out of my hands and yell "my pink pack pack", which was about the cutest darn thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I went and got him a back pack that was put away for him and he was thrilled. I want to be very cautious that although I know it will be good for him to share life, I don't want him to be shell shocked and start to resent his new sister. He loves to talk about her and he calls her "Mercy girl". We are going to let them share a room and I am hoping to put her bed up in December so he can begin to tuck a doll in, etc, just get used to the whole idea, slowly but surely. It is happening fast, but we are trying to introduce it all to him slowly. He knows mommy went to "see the babies in Africa". Now when I go back he will know I am going to see Mercy and then when Jeremy and I go together that we are going to get her, you get the point. He really has no clue, but he will!

Next question on what now is the longest post known to man-kind, pictures, when can we see pictures?" Not until the court date is final and we are approved can we share pictures publicly, sorry!!!!!! But OH WILL THEY COME!

Will I get to meet the birth parents? Yes and no, there is no known birth father, but I will get to meet the birth mother at court, obviously pray for that even starting now. She had to give her sweet baby girl up because she could not feed her. She was VERY malnourished when she arrived at the orphanage. It breaks my heart!

What are the health issues you mentioned before? Because of her severe malnourishment the doctors quickly diagnosed her with mosaic down syndrome after arriving at the orphanage. She did not have all the traits, but several. There is no way to do genetic testing until she arrives in the states so we had to work through a lot of emotions and a thousand "what if's" but God has given us great confirmation that she is to be our baby girl. She has made vast improvements in the year that she has been eating well (that is relative of course) in the orphanage so when I saw her I saw no signs. The news took me by shock and I ran for a while, but I stopped and so did my sweet J and now we are thrilled no matter what, she is ours!

When will you go back and get her? Approximately 6 weeks after court, but I found out today that we may not know an exact date until the week before we need to leave. Just what 2 type A planners loves to hear! Februaryish! I did have a great talk with our pediatrician today who will actually be in Ghana in February. He is so excited and plans to work out all the details of her needed tests and visits as soon as we get our last travel date! Thank you Jesus for a missionary pediatrician who loves some African babies!

And finally, "how do you feel about all of this". And I can honestly answer, blessed! This has been a crazy ride of what I will call quick surrender. Some people say "God worked on me in that area for years" and although I have adoption stories going back to when I babysat a sweet little girl in high school from China, woven throughout my life, if you would have told me we would be adopting from Ethiopia in 2010 in say, April, I would have told you that you had lost your ever loving mind! It has been a roller coaster, but the greatest thing I have seen is that a God that has moved VERY slowly in VARIOUS situations over the past few years, can move at lightening speed when He wants! He is in control of the entire universe and when He wants to teach you something through a slow circumstance He will, but He may chose to teach you through the ride of your life all the same. I went from never stepping foot outside of the country (other than Cancun, but that does NOT count) to making 3 trips to Ethiopia in just a little over 6 months. That is Jesus if you ask me! So today I feel great! I am thrilled I have a friend going with me to court and I am thrilled life is moving on! Even though this is not what I envisioned, it is certainly MOVING on!

Finally (if you are still reading, what's a few more lines) something I will ask that you pray for me and for yourself because I am fairly certain most of us struggle in this area. Pray that we don't chase things, circumstances, children, houses, cars (or even mini vans) to make us happy. Pray that we are so incredibly in love with Jesus that He overtakes our entire lives to the point that these things are just icing on the cake, that they are not attempting to be the cake themselves. He is the cake! He is it! If I never get Mercy girl, or Chapel, or if we live in our 1100 square foot rental with no dishwasher for the rest of our lives, that we will be content in Jesus! I love you tons!

K

So what the heck does that mean.................

2010-10-23T06:51:00.003-05:00

Ok gang, you all made me smile so big last night as I sat in a beautiful ballet, attempting to avoid the ugly cry with all of my emotions knowing that this was only the beginning to girly! My phone blew up between facebook messages and sweet texts, so I thought I would just write a very practical post stating what the heck all of this means.

For starters, Ethiopia is a two trip country which means we have to go one time for court (Dec 27th) and then back again 6 weeks later for the gottcha day! It looks like that will now be in February since our court date is not until the end of Dec, but I will obviously keep you posted, especially for you airport joiners who will be welcoming our sweet Mercy girl on to good ol' Tennessee soil in Nashvegas.

The tough part for us was the big decision about whether or not Jeremy and I would both travel both times and we pretty much knew up front that would not be best. All around that would not be best for finances and I as a mommy really didn't want Cross to go 2 weeks in 2 months without either parent. His world is about to be rocked for sure, I just don't want it to tip. So with my big girl pants on, I have been mentally suiting up for a trip, alone, to Ethiopia. THANK GOODNESS our sermon last week was a wonderful, practical message on fear because man did I need it. There was one TINY possibility that a precious friend of mine could join me who was traveling to Africa for a pharmacy rotation, but ONLY if my court date was at the end of the month...................yep....................you guessed it! GOD ROCKS! I have a traveling buddy now! My sweet mama was so funny, she said "I would have died if I had known you were possibly going alone". God spared her from that freak out because by the time she got details, I already had a partner in crime!

So that's it in a nut shell, yes I will miss Christmas, but that is so a-ok in the context of this situation for certain! This baby girl needs to come home and EAT and get better medical attention so postponing it just didn't seem like an option. My motto in most of life is the sooner the better! hahhahha

As for now, PRAY PRAY PRAY that the grants we have written say a huge yes and that we keep selling beads, which by the way we are heading to Brentwood in a few hours to get a ton more so by all means, get em while the gettin is good! I really cannot thank you guys enough for all your prayers, financial support, encouragement, and the best phone party of my life last night! I love you all dearly and I am SO thankful you are all along for the ride!

Sailing soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kelly

Drum Roll Please.......................................

2010-10-22T18:03:00.003-05:00

And we have a court date!!!!!!!!!!! December 27th!!!!!!!!!!! One little Christmas missed will not compare to a baby girl coming closer to home! Thank you so much for your prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

K

True Religion..........................

2010-10-21T20:43:00.001-05:00

http://project61blog.wordpress.com/

None of my words could compare!

Hello Sweet Friends................

2010-10-15T06:17:00.002-05:00

Good Morning Blog World, from a very bad blogger friend! I have missed you all terribly and feel like I haven't really gotten to say a "real" hello in weeks. I am trying to sneak on here before a certain little guy comes barreling through his bedroom door to start the day. He starts each day with such zeal that it works much better if I am awake and alive before his little feet hit the floor. A few sips of coffee do wonders to my attitude in the a.m. God is showing me how much I must cherish this precious time I have left with only him to tend to! We are going on a special date today to Brentwood to pick up beads and hit a local park, just a mommy day and I am leaving that cell phone (with fully functioning email that is just another distraction to me) in the car and loving on my baby! -The door just opened so I will have to type fast.-

Speaking of beads, let me also say thank you to everyone who has ordered some! They are selling like hot cakes and with each bead sold, God is using that to build my faith one strand at a time! -I am now back from a quick diaper change, "milk and a bar" (you can just call me Susie) and "Credibles" (Incredibles) which have officially been my adoption babysitters and no I am not proud, but yes I am beyond thankful!

I really just wanted to get on and praise Jesus! He has rocked my world over these past few weeks, months, and years. We got a video yesterday of Mercy and I told Jeremy I think we have no idea of the joy we are in for in getting her! Just think about how good you feel when you make someone a meal or help someone financially, if my heart is right, it gives me the greatest high ever. I think this is going to be "it is more blessed to give than to receive" on steroids. Please know that I am fully aware of the struggles that are going to be involved, but the joy and blessing that this is adoption is holding I know are going to far out way any bad. When you birth a child you would be insane to focus on the "terrible twos" (or nursing or labor or spit up all over your couches) instead of the tremendous blessing and that is how I feel. Language will be hard, the transition will be hard, but the joy of changing some one's life I think may far outweigh! There have been seasons of this short journey where I would have to be honest and say that I was walking more in obedience than excitement (that happens a lot when following Jesus) but God is taking me into the "I can't hardly wait to get my hands on that sweet baby girl" stage. Jeremy has gone through the same - hold on "he wants some mooooore"- highs and lows, but yesterday he met me at the door with "we got another video" and his smile said it all! It is hard following Jesus sometimes, but I have never followed Him all the way through and not been blessed so I know that is the case here as well. ALL and yes ALL of our paperwork is in! Great friends have blessed us this week even with the funds to finish the rest of our paperwork fees so those are out. It seems crazy, but it really is a good feeling to know that for the most part all I have left is fundraising. That hill for a bit seemed like such a mountain that it was too overwhelming to even begin to climb, but in the good moments God has given me the great grace to do (and be at peace with) what I need to do for that week without being a stressed out maniac to my entire family. He has allowed me (when I have let Him) to trust in His perfect timing and calling for each week. My goal now is simply to sell beads and try to send off 1 grant per week. My personality would like to send off 1 grant per day, but He is showing me that will NOT carry His blessing and that technically that is leaning way more towards the side of works with NO faith so I am sticking with 1 per week and sanity, a much better option.

Well, I think my time may be officially coming to an end as a little guy just said "lets turn it off and play letters" what can you really say to that! hahahaha I think Credibles may have lost their power so I need to jump off and spend some much needed and much neglected QT! I love you guys! I THANK YOU for your prayers and even the ones to come. We are hoping to be traveling before the end of the year and the estimated time frame is that we will have a court date in 3 weeks. Until then I will be climbing the fundraising mountain so not a single prayer will be wasted on that hike! I love you dearly and I can't wait for you all to meet sweet Mercy girl! Her eyelashes will make certain that she is another love of our lives!

K

Beads, Beads, and more Beads......................

2010-10-03T21:43:00.005-05:00

*beads modeled by my sweet friend Gina who is adopting a little boy from Ethiopia as well!

Ok gang, I told you fundraising was coming, but I kept the secret that it involved JEWELRY!!!! Yes, my sweet girl friends (and if there is one guy reader out there your wife/significant other/mother will think you are awesome if you buy these for her) the fundraiser is beautiful necklaces made in Uganda!

I just loved the idea of having a fundraiser that would bless everyone involved. Let me give you a little background about the beads and how the money is split up. First and foremost, I was thrilled that YOU would get something out of the deal! The necklaces are beautiful and can also be worn as a wrapped bracelet. They will make GREAT Christmas presents for many many on your list. Think of teachers and loved ones who are hard to buy for. They will be great for the person who has everything or for the gal who deserves something super special. (Sales pitch #1) :)

The second person who benefits is obviously us. The cost of the necklaces are $25 and we get to keep $10 from each purchase for our adoption. So every time I sell 100 necklaces that would equal $1000 raised! There is no overhead for me, just a quick trip to Nashville and if you are out of the area, you could include a couple of extra dollars in your donation and I could mail them right out to ya, in PLENTY of time for Christmas!!!!!!!! Just think, you could actually be ahead of the shopping game this year. And for you moms that wouldn't take your crew into the mall if someone paid you, this is your online shopping sweepstakes! (Sales pitch #2)

And finally, the remaining $15 goes to the precious ladies in Uganda who actually make the beads (from recycled materials none the less) as well as supporting a missionary named Katie Davis who runs a feeding program in Africa. And finally, you will also be supporting an organization called 147 Million Orphans who helps bring awareness for orphans both domestic and international.

So it is that easy! I was thrilled when I heard about this opportunity because I thought about the college student who could swing one necklace and the mom who could buy 10 and knock off a chunk of her Christmas to-do list! I really do thank each of you for ALL of your support! God is gracious and I believe this is His will and is ultimately His bill, but I do believe He is calling each of us to do our part.

All you have to do to place an order is shoot me a quick email to bullockfamily77@gmail.com. Just let me know your name and the number of necklaces you want and we will chat about payment and me shipping or me dropping them off to you locals! I think this is so fitting to watch the entire body of Christ (that is connected to me that is) pull together and take care of the orphans! Thanks again and happy shopping!!!!!!!! (Sales pitch #3)

Kelly

Hello Long Lost Blog Friends..................

2010-10-03T21:20:00.004-05:00

Hello Blog World and let me begin by saying I HAVE MISSED YOU! I have been a super blog slacker lately, but I promise with good reason. As all of my Facebook friends already know (which is telling on myself that I have been on fb and not the blog) but the Dossier is DONE! Yes done, as in on it's way to D.C. DONE! I am thrilled to say the least! It should arrive in D.C. by 10 tomorrow morning so please pray favor on that little doc all the way until it hits the top of the stack in Ethiopia to assign a court date in order to bring Mercy home! To say I feel like a huge load has been lifted off of my life would be an understatement at the least. I feel like everything else will be seem like a cake walk, even if it is an uphill climb after that stinking document. It was over 50 pages and just so you can laugh (or cry) with me I will share the craziest story ever. On the day I was headed to Nashville to get my final seal I found out that the notary that had done all of J and I's docs was NOT a valid notary. Yep, you read that right, NOT. So, in an hour's time (and by God's great and amazing grace) we reprinted all those docs (twice because we forgot to change the dates), got them re-notarized, got 2 of them validated and then I literally drove to Nashville on pure adrenaline and then slid into Kinkos to Fed Ex the doc right in the nick of time! What a day that was!

So now to give you a quick time lineish. We have no clue! hahahhahhaha We are praying and asking God to perform a miracle and get her home fast, but we will know nothing until we get a court date. BUT in the mean time...............we have another task at hand and that task is labeled fundraising and the games are beginning whether I want them to or not because now the big bills are coming due. The agency needs to be paid and the airfare needs to be in place in order for us to book as soon as we get a court date. So........... we still have a lot of work to do. God has given us a great opportunity to where anyone and everyone can help regardless of their budget so we are thrilled about that. I am going to try to post on that, possibly even tonight, but just keep all of that in your prayers if you would! If you can help out that would be great, but regardless, just know that we are so thankful that so many people are excited and encouraging us! It is such a blessing to know that Mercy is so loved even now!

Love you guys!
Kelly

I

Happy Birthday Daddy.........................

2010-09-28T09:34:00.001-05:00

Your cupcake was delicious!!!!!!!!

Love,

Mommy, Cross, and Snicker Bug

Tommy da Twain..................

2010-09-14T20:28:00.005-05:00

Cross got to go on a glorious adventure Saturday with the Bullock men and as you can see in the first picture, that crew included a very grandfatherish Granddaddy...............

They had a great time and I got a LOT of adoption paperwork done. I hated to miss a moment of mommy fun, but I think they did just fine without me! Cross buddy, your "cheese" and that stinkin hat are going to have my heart for as long as we both shall live!

Dream BIG.................

2010-09-08T22:29:00.003-05:00

Hello Blog World! With a great big smile I can tell you that I am trucking along in the adoption paperwork extravaganza. I thank you so much for your prayers. After my break down the other night I got organized and made a "getting started" to-do list and put as much as I could fit on one sheet of paper in my oh so favorite list form and then decided I would just wait and make a new list next week once I actually got a few things marked off. It is hard when you have a husband, job, but most of all a child because you most certainly don't want to awake 4 months later from the paperwork fog and notice that your precious son has grown a foot and doesn't remember who mommy is or what memories mean. I am trying to make a very conscious effort to not obsess over the timing I have in mind and faithfully work when the door naturally opens, not when it has to be beaten down. I also wanted to ask for prayer in regards to a bump we hit today in regards to our health insurance proving that they will cover Mercy immediately. This is a BIG deal because it is a requirement by Ethiopia and there are some serious medical concerns (that I promise to discuss once we have processed them ourselves and I know that the insurance ordeal is going to be resolved). So ALL prayers will be appreciated. I feel like a selfish prayer friend so send me yours too because I actually do a much better job at having faith for you than I do for myself.

Which actually leads me to my point of posting. It is after 10 so I am thinking this may be short and sweet, but my desire is for your dreams (and mine) to be big (not at all short and sweet). I am a dreamer by nature. One of my top strengths in the Strength's Finders is futuristic so this dreaming thing is the most natural place for me to go. Obviously, this "strength" comes with a million weaknesses, but we aren't going to go over those details in this post. It is meant to be fun. One time in some much needed counseling during our last two years of "not so heaven like" reality, our pastor gave us some of the greatest counsel ever, to dream. He said don't ever get so defeated that you stop dreaming as a couple. Jeremy likes to dream just about as much as a snail likes a steady sprint, but he has been ever so willing for the sake of our sanity. But recently I feel like we have both stopped dreaming to some degree. So I want you to dream this week and I am going to dream with you in order to give my sweet man a break.....................

I dream of several rug rats running through a home that we own and picked out and painted and hung pictures and scriptures up everywhere! Oh and a backyard with a fence where Snicker girl can rome too.

I dream of a mini-van (yes you read that correctly) packed full of car seats, rocking out to some Veggie Tales and to the point where the base is bumping.

I dream of a kitchen that is larger than the size of my pinky nail where I can possibly toy with the idea of actually enjoying cooking, oh and GLORY hallelujah, it will have a GINORMOUS dishwasher to boot.

I dream of our finances putting us back in the position to bless instead of having to be blessed. I want to live radical, like really radical! I want to die and think, man, Jesus used us to rock the world for Him, what an honor that would be!

I want to fellowship with our Savior, by the day, by the minute. I want to FEEL Him more!

I want to walk more, be busy less, be my man's bestest friend and laugh and drink coffee with my dearest friends whom I selfishly want to be my next door neighbors.

I want to buy things for people, send kids to school in Africa, and have college funds set up for the ones we actually own.

I want our entire family to be radically sold out to Christ!

I want my friend's husband to go to work for a child trafficking organization because he is brilliant and I want them to step out!!

I want my other friends', plural, husbands to come home from war and never go back.

I want another friend to adopt sooner than later.

I want to be big and pregnant (well while we are dreaming, cute and pregnant) with a little red headed girl named Chapel Elizabeth Bullock.

I want Mercy to be totally healed and be Cross' bestest friend and I want to home school them in the same grade because she is NOT behind in the name of JESUS!!!!!!!

I want my parents to quit smoking. I want my cousin to quit doing things that are killing her body, mind, soul and spirit. I want Jesus to come back SOON!!!!!!

Yep, I for sure think dreaming is good for the soul! Feel free to comment dream or to talk your hubs into sitting down tonight and dreaming with you. Dream over email if he is 1,000 miles from home, but let's never stop dreaming and let's never doubt that Jesus has more than all we could ever ask, think, or imagine in store. Let's take Him at His Word and dream big, if we obey Him, He will trump them, guaranteed! Yes there will be hardships along the way, this is earth, not Heaven, but oh the saddest of days will come when we buy into the lie of doomed despair! Let's turn our dreams into prayers and just see what God might do, I dare ya! Have a great rest of the week sweet friends!

K

*ignore errors, I am hitting publish post and closing my eyes, it is 11 PM!

UPs and downs, HIGHS and lows...............

2010-09-04T21:07:00.002-05:00

Hey gang, as I sit in front of this computer compiling a list of the 5,001 things I will need for the Dossier and then I scanned over the EIGHT page document I will need to fill out for just ONE grant, none of this is counting a glorious form called the I600a (which I have not even thought about), I am a bit paralyzed. I thought a plea for prayer would be a better use of my time right now. I am usually good at paperwork. It is like one big list and I LOVE lists, but this was more than I could handle, especially considering it is night and you all know just how well I do at night. In the strangest of ways, had I looked at this at 5 a.m. it may have felt like a good challenge, but at 9 p.m. it is making me want to cry. In addition to the paperwork we still need a miracle in the approximate amount of $28,425.00 NOW, that requires a LOT of faith! So here's my prayer this Labor Day Weekend Night, that I will TRUST JESUS, to get these docs done, to give me the time to do my part (a two year old, a part time job with an event a few weeks away and this thing I would like to somewhat keep called a LIFE are all making time a very valuable commodity). Please also pray that I will LEAN NOT ON MY OWN UNDERSTANDING in regards to the money. That is almost easy considering the amount, yet I keep trying to think of "ways" but they all include time and time is what I don't have. So just pray that I will trust Jesus. And finally, pray for me to trust Jesus and not carry guilt. If I think too much about all of this I will beat myself up for not locking myself in a room for hours and knocking this out. This paperwork to me represents a life that gets a modest piece of bread each day for her meal (singular). You get the point. I feel guilty for everyday that goes by and I don't have my paperwork in. I KNOW that God's grace will cover her until we can get to her, heck, long after we get to her for that matter, but pray that I FEEL that grace myself! Ok, thanks a ton, I have never been so thankful for your prayers. Have a great long weekend! Pray I can take it one step at a time!!!!

Kelly

Bullock Family UPdate.....................

2010-08-29T19:02:00.006-05:00

Hey guys, just a little update from the Bullock home this Sunday evening! I am going in list form again as my brain slows by the second, but I wanted to give you a quick run down of our crew!

Jeremy: Is very handsome still and God is blessing his work and he is loving every minute of it. We are certainly adjusting to a crazy work schedule, but he has been such an awesome husband to work faithfully when needed but to know when enough is enough and shut that phone off and say "no" and spend q.t. with his fam!

Cross: Oh good gracious he says something or does something everyday that assures me he really is the cutest and smartest child on the face of the earth. I am sure all the moms out there know someone(s) similiar. Some recent cutestness has involed the need to wear a baseball hat to bed and he puts it back on first thing in the morning before carrying 5 (or 20) cars and a blanket or two out into the hall to announce his morning arrival. A baseball hat and pj's is JUST about the cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Cute sayings are: Tommy da twain (for Thomas) and I help you (instead of will you help me) and then all kinds of ABC cuteness and smartness, but I will spare the bragging! We have a solid 6 months of a strict diet before we can start adding things back in, but his tummy is improving each week.

Snick: Well, let's just say she IS alive. She is so low on the totum pole that it is truly sad and she acts out and whines about EVERYTHING! I did give her a walk Saturday without Cross so we could go a little faster than a slow snail, but I am praying it will not the be last one in 2010. The girl needs her exercise for lots of reasons.

Kelly: Well, Jesus rocked my world this weekend. I am not allowed to share details, but let's just say that the adoption is ON thanks to some very dear and generous friends!!!!!!!!!! We are having our first homestudy meeting on Wednesday, we are mailing out our application in the morning, and we are about to be full throttle in Dossier (or Dozzier as I called it and please laugh with me and not at me, I'm from TN). So that leads me to our next family member.....................

Mercy: Mercy is the name the Lord gave us several months back for our one-day to be adopted little girl. We have been praying for her this entire year, long before we even knew she was Ethiopian. We have not been offically matched so we are still praying for the Lord to seal that deal and for us to be able to go and get her sooner rather than later. I will give way more detail when the match is complete and if I am permitted will post a million pics as well, but as for now, just pray pray pray, please! She is beautiful and I am praying the Lord will bring beauty from ashes in her precious life! Her life verse is Psalm 23:6 "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all of the days of my life." That is most certainly our prayer for her!

So as you can tell, this is certainly an UPdate! Life is moving forward, Jesus is rocking our worlds in a million and one ways. I feel like screaming "I knew He was faithful, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!" In regards to the adoption and a timeline we have none at the moment, but God has given us a sense of urgency at least on our part not to slow down, not to put this to the side, to be ready for Him to blow open any and all doors. With that said, we know we need to start preparing for each and every step of this process. With a tall bill of approximately $30,000 we are going to go ahead and start setting aside money for our travel to Ethiopia. If God does open a quick door I am assuming it will be vital that we buy our plane tickets on the spot so we just want to be as ready as we can be! Jeremy also needs shots and a passport and that alone is over $600. We are posting a "donate" button for anyone who wants to support us in this effort. Please know that every penny will be a blessing and no "donation" is too big or too small. A dear friend gave me $25 and you have no idea how much that increased my faith! We are certain that God is going to continue to overwhelm us with His grace to bring Mercy home. We are beyond thankful for you guys and your prayers for us over these past few years and the awesome months to come! We'll keep you posted, promise!!!!!!

J and K

Night Night

2010-08-23T22:43:00.003-05:00

Hello Blog World, rarely will you catch me doing much of anything after say, 8:00 p.m., but tonight I am wide awake for several reasons. One being because my sweet man has gone to a football game and it is a very odd feeling being all alone and the television being off, but two I think I am VERY in love with Jesus this evening and just had to get on and share.

God has obviously taken the Bullocks through the ringer these past few years and some days I am truly amazed that I have had the grace to live through it and even still tell about it. I was thinking today as my sweet man told me that TWO contracts were a no-go, I have to trust God, I have to believe Him, not my circumstances. A friend told me yesterday about a message involving the mid-night hour and how many of us are sitting on 11:59. I also heard the most amazing quote of my entire life yesterday at church, "Our destiny will be made up of a collective number of yes's to God". WOW, if that one doesn't blow you away I think you might just be stuck. I kept thinking to myself, THANK GOODNESS that a few times along this ride we have said "yes" and a million times along this ride we have said "no" to the opposite voice speaking into our ear.

I also have tons of friends and family on my mind right now, I know their circumstances, I desperately pray that they will get to their God given destiny by saying yes. Maybe their yes is to adoption or a no to abortion. Maybe their yes is to stay in rehab or to quit smoking or to finalize a plan to clean up their house. Maybe your yes is to stay married to your man or to STOP worrying about finances and trust Jesus (oh wait that's mine). Maybe your yes is to quit your job, sell your house, or call the Hope Pregnancy Center and become a volunteer. A got an email today about a gal who went on our trip who said yes to moving to Ethiopia to work in the trash dump, in NOVEMBER. How's that for a destiny rocker. She is a single gal and I already have a VERY good looking African man in my head wondering what IF that is going to be her man. Just think, she said yes to a trip, then a yes to fight satan long enough to actually get her butt on the plane to the trip, even on the plane ride there she said she had NO CLUE what God wanted her to do with her life! :) Oh, I love our Jesus.

For me personally, I have said yes this past two years to a job taking and a job quitting, a church change, a sermon series about Toxic Thoughts in a moment where my mind was full of them. I have said NO to drinking, smoking, but a not so good yes to cussing and sometimes WAY too much of it. All my Jesus following yes's over the past 7 years have brought me to blessings that far out weighed my wildest of dreams and all my disobedience or even complacency to say yes to a quiet time have brought me pain. Yes to an alone weekend after losing a baby, life changing. No to tearing down my man in the midst of some anger and terrible PMS, didn't make my life any better let's just say that.

So I leave you with this, say yes to whatever the heck it is He is calling you to do or not to do today. Don't worry about the list of yes's you will need to fulfill your destiny, just take it one yes at a time. Don't worry about the pain or pride you will have to endure or lay down, just trust that He is worth it. Don't compare your life to anyone else's. Just say yes to your call and leave their yes's to themselves. You know what He is calling YOU to do and it will be worth it let me tell ya! It could be as simple as doing the laundry or apologizing to your man. It could be as massive as selling all of your possessions or taking a MAJOR risk, but the options really are simple, glorious God-designed destiny, or well, crap! I'm just saying! Ok, my man is here! I love you guys tons! I am too tired to proof so give me lots of grace!

K

Hello Blog World

2010-08-18T21:10:00.002-05:00

So I should totally be sleeping right now because each day by 2:00 p.m. I feel like I could fall asleep standing up, but I could not resist saying a quick (ok quick for me) hello this evening! I have a great confession to make and that is I have officially sold out and joined Facebook and my blog routine is all in a mess. I feel so pulled, but I am bound and determined that I am a Blogger first and a Facebooker second, not counting follower of Jesus, awesome loving wife, phenomenal mother, great event planner, and friend, daughter, sister, and aunt. POINT proven for my next announcement, I am officially signing off of "Come with me to Ethiopia". I just can't wrap my boxed brain around keeping up with all of this and from the list above it doesn't seem like a wise time choice as you can tell. SO, from now on we can sit tight here on Bullock Family AND still possibly make certain that we go back to Ethiopia all the same.

I have pondered how on earth I could tell you guys this news, but it seems that telling is really the only route possible. WE ARE GOING TO ADOPT A BABY GIRL FROM ETHIOPIA. Now cheer, cheer! I can hear you!!!!!!!! When I say baby girl, I really mean toddler girl (hopefully), that is just how we southern mama's speak. Tonight I am super excited yet beyond curious about how the Lord is going to perform the 1 million financial miracles that will be needed along the way. God has already done several cool things this past week and we are just faithfully trucking through our paperwork and getting ready to mail out packets as soon as the funds roll in. Jeremy and I are both beyond over the desire to ask people for one more penny, but we have experienced the joys of giving over and over and the Lord is showing us that "bringing home a baby" thrills everyone involved so we are going to humble ourselves again and just let God work! He may work through Jeremy's job or grants or friends and family or random coins found in the mouth of a fish. Ok, so probably not that, but I just read that story in the Bible the other day and my chin dropped and I remembered that God is BIG. Ok, so that's that! I love you guys and I can hardly stand holding in even the smallest bit of news so you can imagine I have been busting at the seems about this. God will confirm through the next few months if we have heard Him correctly or not, but as for now we have more peace moving forward and no peace sitting still. We thank you for your prayers, your celebration and most certainly, if God lays it on your heart to give of your finances to save a life in Ethiopia we will not turn you down. I just kept thinking the entire time I was there what I would do if that were Cross sitting in that orphanage, getting only bread for a meal and no one giving him one million kisses at night. I would beg, plead, work, and take out a loan the size of Egypt if that was what it took to bring him home. I feel like we have a daughter over there, Mercy will be her name, and Cross will be her BIG brother, and so why wouldn't I do the same for her.

God has crazy plans for us all. IF we will in fact surrender our own. I am getting a glimpse of His plan and He is making me smile. He hated any pain that we have had to endure these past few years, but He knew all along where He was leading. He is writing a life story for me that never in a million years could I have dreamt, but let me promise you this, He wants to do the same for you. Every time you face a fork in the road tell yourself that the narrow road leads to a blessing. His ways works guys, just you wait and see!

K, a/k/a Mommy again to be!

Cross

2010-08-06T20:52:00.006-05:00

Hello Sweet Friends! Obviously from the title of the last post and the length of time in between these two I am thinking I need to spend some more time stopping and smelling the roses. My sweet son waived good-bye to us tonight as we dropped him off at his BB's and Granddaddy's for a MUCH needed hot date with the hubs. When you have no clue where to begin as a couple alone on a Saturday night that is a bad sign. We had a wonderful night together and I think smelling the roses is going to happen much more frequently here at the Bullock home! I also wanted to share with you guys some oh so sweet Cross moments from the past few months. He is talking up a storm and just flourishing as a little boy. We did find out some not so great news this past week, Cross has some horrible food allergies that have got to be addressed. Please pray for me over the next few weeks as we come up with a game plan which will most certainly mean more work for all of us, but also a whole lot of "no's" for my sweet boy. Pray that God gives me some James 1:5 wisdom in the areas of what and how to do everything in my power to get my little man back up to speed before we start reintroducing foods and figuring out just what it is that is an absolute NO. Ok, you guys have a glorious week. I personally am in great need of some Jesus tomorrow after a week of doing childcare and not being able to make it to service. Also, please be praying for my sweet Daddy. He had another scare this week and has GOT to stop smoking. Let's pray him up, he has probably been smoking for 50+ years so he needs a Jesus size miracle, but He is so good at those!

Ok, so here we go, Random Cute Things Cross Says/Does That I Want to Remember.........

1. No, go dis way. He is VERY bossy while you are driving.
2. Tank you daddy, tank you mommy. I can't even type it how he really says it. It is almost more like dankdo, but it is SO cute. I can always tell he has plenty of food and sleep when he says this. It is so sweet to see your manner's training pay off!
3. Hi, HI, Cross is the personal greeter everywhere we go. You should see him at Chick-fil-a. He feels VERY at home there and welcomes each and every customer that enters the door. He doesn't quiet know how to carry on a conversation so he just starts talking, "The mon mower, and the tractor, and the truck, and the mon mower."
4. Max (his buddy at school) is always cwying. That is another random conversation peace that frequents our home.
5. I also love seeing his necked little butt running back and forth to the potty and the way he slams down the toilet lid, all boy, Jeremy grins with proud approval, I shake with fear.
6. A BIG no-no. When he sees things that he has touched and suffered the consequences (please know I am certain 10 warnings were in between) he says they are a BIG no-no.
7. "W" say it out loud, now hear Cross saying "double y". So sticking cute. He changed a week or so to "double x". Those moments almost send me over the edge with his cuteness!
8. And lastly, poooooooooooooooor Snick. She gets bossed, chased, and the ball taken away often. She keeps her ears up most of the day. I wonder what goes through her head on days when we leave. THANK YOU JESUS FOR GIVING ME A DAY OF REST FROM THAT CHILD. HE IS A BIT TOO HYPER, EVEN FOR ME!

Overwhelmed.............................

2010-07-29T18:58:00.003-05:00

Hello Sweet Friends,

I thought I would try for a much lighter post here in Bullock Family Land. Come with me to Ethiopia can be a bit overwhelming, especially to me because I am still almost fainting at resturants when someone says "no thank you" to a to-go box or when I had to clean out my fridge or when each day at lunch I throw away enough food from Cross' plate alone to feed a hungry child so I think we all need a good laugh. I thought I should get on and attempt to make some jokes while my son is acting completely horrible in the background and my sweet husband is trying to make the best of it. Cross goes to daycare all day now on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I have asked God 100 times if it is too much because it appears to be too much. He is like a blood sugar depleted, exhausted mess each day that he returns, but he does in fact know how to count to 10 and he is tracing his name and has a new bff named Max who I finally met on Tuesday. Max cries a lot according to Cross, but Cross cries a lot according to me so who knows. I am going to attempt the feat of potty training tomorrow. I think I would rather plan an event or run a non-profit any day over tackling such an overwhelming task. Pee on my couches and Heaven forbid poop happening anywhere other than a diaper is a lot to take in. I am trying to schedule it around a few days at home which also gives me palpitations because at home often turns into a very bored stir crazy little boy. Let's just pray that the Thomas the Train underwear are so near and dear to his heart that he would never dream of tarnishing them with any unthinkables.

Ok, so where was I? Oh yes, overwhelmed. I am also CERTAIN that my dog is going to lose her life over begging for that stupid ball that goes under the couch every single time it rolls. I am swearing that our next couch either has to be flat on the floor or high enough so she can crawl under and out without making a single peep. Didn't she get the memo that I now have a REAL child that demands a large portion of my responsibility.I find myself day dreaming about hurling her out the door or when Cross is pitching a fit about something in the front seat I promise you one day I am going to calmly roll down the window and chuck it out the door and keep driving as if nothing happened. Is that healthy??

So this is me, knee deep in mommy land, wondering how we can have such a love/hate relationship. Wondering how on earth one child can walk in my house with a horrifically mismatched outfit from a daycare accident and steal my heart and then within 30 seconds start whaling on the floor and cause me to have to take deep breaths and start quoting scripture about anger. I really do love being a mom, but I have said it before and I am certain I will say it again, this job is one that I signed up for with NO CLUE what I was getting myself into. Sometimes when he rams my boob (so sorry if there are any male readers) into my back I am certain I am going to bite my lip clear off trying not to cuss and other times when he runs without any inhabitions I am praising God over and over for giving me that little guy. When Snick picks out the pieces of food that she doesn't prefer and leaves them on my 1X1 kitchen floor it makes me want to take her food away forever, but when she snuggles right up to me on the couch I think what on earth would life be without her. I probably have the same feelings about my husband quite honestly (and he does for me) but he can read so I will refrain from posting them. I have a good set of years until Cross reads and surely he won't look back on July 29, 2010. If you do little buddy just know being a mommy is hard and had Jesus not given me the grace to raise you AFTER submitting to walk with Him God only knows where you and I would be.

So until next time blog world, I am a bit overwhelmed with all of the calls of life. I am a bit overwhelmed with the things that you were certain would make life perfect falling far from the mark. I am a bit overwhelmed with "will I do this potty training thing right" and will I ever get good at reading to Cross consistently, brushing his teeth daily, AND spending enough time with Jesus in order to ensure that it is all done with a smile! You guys have a great weekend and when you go to the potty, your kid goes to the potty, or you change a stinkin' diaper, think of me, pray for me, and smile at the laughs you would be certain to have in the event that you get to beam down as a fly upon my fall!

Off to bed!
K

Kelly is in Ethiopia!

2010-07-15T09:12:00.003-05:00

Hey blog world, this is Kelly's hub's reminding everyone that she is in Ethiopia for the next ten days. She should actually be landing sometime in the next hour or two. Anyways if you would like to follow her along check out her blog she made for the trip. Also, please pray for her and the team as the visit the different orphanages and love on the different babies and children.

http://www.comewithmetoethiopia.blogspot.com/

Thanks,

J

My Man................

2010-06-19T23:12:00.004-05:00

My man is the best father in all the world.

My man offered up some DNA that is most attractive for our son.

My man LOVES Jesus and his son will see that and that thrills me.

My man does the right thing when none of you are looking and I see.

My man was born to be a father, it comes so natural to him.

My man is building a legacy that will make some mighty fine fathers.

My man is my best friend and being a parent with him is my greatest honor in life.

My man is my son's hero.

Happy Father's Day! I pray you know that Cross and I really do think you hung the moon!

One Last Hooo Rahhhhh

2010-06-18T07:03:00.009-05:00

Hello Blog World, I am so all or none, no posts for a few weeks and then three in three days. If you only knew how true that is in all areas of my life. I thought I would get on and give one last hello, share some family photos, and probably sign off from the Bullock Family for a month or so in order to focus on the Ethiopia Blog. You can come along if you would like at http://www.comewithmetoethiopia.blogspot.com/.

Several realities have hit today. As you know we were supposed to be beaching it this week so I kept thinking "I'll focus on Ethiopia once we get back from the beach". That is how my box brain works, but now as there is no beach I am ready to switch gears.

With that, the one thing I dread most is missing my family, but I know that always makes me VERY close to the Lord which is never a bad thing. I feel insecure sometimes even coming to Winchester without my man. I call him OFTEN and can hardly wait to get back to him. Cross, well, I am usually honestly thankful for the break for the first day or so and then well, there really hasn't ever been a then. I can't remember exactly, but I am thinking no more than 4 days have I been away from him. 10 will be hard. I haven't felt this in a while, but I know the Lord is saying "I have planned it this way baby, that you would know no one and take no one with you, even your phone must remain here, it is just going to be me and you." That's how it was in 2003 when we first started walking together. I had to give up ALL of my relationships, some of my family even took a few steps back, it was just me and Jesus. I talked to Him almost every second of every day. Now I find myself calling J, calling you, calling humans and begging them to meet my needs, fill my security and love tank and they always fail because they are not capable of succeeding. Ethiopia will bring back that intimacy, telling Him my every fear, begging Him to come closer and allow me to feel His presence more and more. People will be all around, but I know I will feel very much alone.

I will put all of the details of Him calling me to the trip in the first place in the blog, but know that although I am excited, I more so know that I am called. I will not/can not ask myself how I "feel" about any step of this venture. He has called me and He will fully equip me. I cannot be a double minded man or I will miss His blessing! He has made it clear and confirmed it a million times over so this is not up for negotiation at this point, it is up for obedience, and by His grace, I will obey. So thank you for your prayers! I depart in a little over 3 weeks and after reading an email today with lots of do's and don'ts the uncomfortable reality has set in, pray for me that excitement will override any and all fears! Actually, pray for those sweet babies that are certain to break my heart instead of praying for my poor heart. We/I am the person who "must do something about this". Pray God gives me a deep vision for how I am to help, even how my smile is to brighten their very dark days. I can't wait for Heaven. I can't wait until orphans are a thing of the past, but in the mean time, may I love them madly, lavishly. May I hug them so tight when I miss my own sweet baby and may I pray bold prayers while I am there that will move mountains on their behalf. So until Augustish, "Come with me to Ethiopia", we are certain to have an eye opening, heart wrenching, good time!

Kelly #2

2010-06-17T08:02:00.003-05:00

Hello Blog World, let me give you a quick recap. Last night I went to bed so frustrated I could have spit. [Please see previous post if needed.] I was also so tired that thankfully I went right off to sleep. Then the alarm went off this morning for time with Jesus PRIOR to Cross' morning arrival and prior to someone dying or getting spit on. I was mad at the alarm, mad at myself for not being excited about falling at the feet of my Jesus, by His grace I got up. I love hearing Him speak to me. That is really all it takes to change my mood! I looked up James 1:5,6 in my new Bible that is the Life Application Study Bible, it says "If you need wisdom, ask our generous God and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind." And then He reminded me of my above blog verse, "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him MUST believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." And that about sums in up. If I have a question, concern, or care, ask God how to handle it and then trust that some how, some way, He will show me what to do! Then for the things He is telling me to wait on, I must have faith and believe that He is going to rock my world. In the mean time, He is telling me to serve people, serve friends, family, neighbors and then some more friends. He is telling me when I want things to HURRY UP or if I am having a royal pity party, that I should find one of you and see just what exactly I could do to bless your day! So, with that being said, Jesus, you are the best! Thank you for encouraging me this morning!

Oh and by the way, my blood work is now all officially PERFECT! I might just be the healthiest person ever thanks to His grace so I am now going to keep trucking with my supplements and I am going to rock on and get ready for my next few weeks.

The blessings are too endless to list, but here goes..........

1. I am getting a TAN! That is huge for this poor gal who hasn't seen the sun all summer until now. Cross is having a blast here at the pool and the sun is making me smile by the second.

2. My man be working some deals! No seriously, God has brought him so many awesome blessings in his business already and he is so good at what he is doing! I have always LOVED my jobs and it is thrilling to see him love his!

3. I am going to ETHIOPIA in a few weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. Some awesome things have been going on at Hope Pregnancy Center and God is so gracious to allow me the chance to watch Him work first hand. The Post Abortion Ministry is really taking off and going to another level! We are working on hiring some new staff which always makes me super excited! The Walk was amazing! The new director (who has also become a dear friend) is God's great gift to the Center. She so loves to watch the Lord work!

5. Our church has night of worship again a week from tomorrow night and that is always my favorite part of the month!

6. I get to meet my Ethiopia crew next Thursday. I only kind of know one girl so we are going to Nashville to meet the team and team leader so I can't wait for that!

7. I started a new Bible Study and it is all about the love of God! It takes you through the Jewish wedding tradition and then correlates all the scriptures to us as being the bride of Christ. There have been moments where I almost lost it thinking about Him being the groom who pursued me AFTER His Father chose me, good gracious it is almost more than one soul could bare.

8. I get to see my daddy tonight!

9. I get to take a nap as soon as I hit "publish post"

10. And I have the greatest friends on earth! Thank you all for your love and prayers!

Signing off!
K

Let's see how it goes.......

2010-06-16T21:38:00.004-05:00

I am getting on once again to attempt to form some kind of post in order to say hello, stay connected, and attempt to be a blogger who really does blog. I feel so up and down lately that I hate to take you along on the roller coaster of my life, but I guess you board at your own free will. One part of me is doing cartwheels daily about J's new awesome career and the reality that our life is FINALLY moving forward and then another side of me is so sick and tired of being sick and tired that I am certain the "moving on" is never really going to happen. Satan loves a defeated heart and often the only reason I don't go to the rock bottom is because it would make him happy and I really prefer and enjoy ticking him off instead. He has stolen too many of my days to allow him even one more.

I, as all humans, would prefer to log on and tell you guys how great and wonderful my life is, my faith is, my child is, my marriage is, you get the point. I would rather not be a rambling basket case who has so many personalities that you keep checking the top to see if you have accidentally ventured to another person's blog. It is still me, one day so full of faith and love and adoration for Christ that I cannot contain myself and then another day I am the biggest brat this side of the Mississippi. I was thinking today, what would I do if I had a "real" health problem? I fall apart over a head ache. I missed the phone call today from the nurse at the endocrinologist about my blood work that was done there so now I have to wait until the a.m. I have also been battling the battle between natural vs well.........PHDish. I got an ear full yesterday about my supplements and I wanted so badly to be a godly woman and respect where he was coming from, but I really wanted to scream, YOU DON'T LIVE MY LIFE, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE to not even be able to hold your eyes open to drive or to play with your two year old or make dinner for your husband. I feel great when I take them and like crap when they make me stop for blood work so I am sticking what works for now. I just wish the doctors would join forces and all get along. I also hate that money drives every one's opinion to some degree and stops my motivation to get to the bottom of the problem. I also wonder at what point do you go get hands laid on you for healing and when do you go to the doctor? If Jesus is willing to heal me for free and for fast, I never ever want to miss out on that. I also have an ear issue, that may or may not be allergy related. Today, after months of annoyance, it is totally blocked and killing me, lovely thing to happen as you are driving out of town. I am in Winchester, spending some time by the pool with my mom and whining instead of praising as you can see. I also found out this week that it will probably be TWO years before we can get a loan for a home and I will no comment how that made me feel. I told J it would be like someone telling him that he would not be able to have a work space of his own for two years, TWO YEARS. I try not to idolize a home, but today I am not winning that battle either, as you can tell.

So...............will Jesus rock my world and will I feel silly for fretting over these things, yes! Will He work all of this out and does He PROMISE to give you wisdom (James 1:5,6) if you ask, not as a double minded man, YES! So, I am going to bed, waking in the a.m. and having a good quite time and attempting to have a thankful heart tomorrow. I need to make a nice long list of thanks and politely ask some pleases. No one is motivated to bless a brat! I love you guys, I will post photos one day I promise. I am computerless and cameraless because of J's new job, but I try not to let those minor details frustrate me, but I am failing fiercely. I could list you a million details just from this week alone that would prove to you just how blessed I really am and I think I will attempt to make that my next post. How depressing this one has become, please forgive me. I want a steadfast Spirit, but as of today, I think the first month of BC is no friend of a sinner. I will work on things and super sweet, loving, bubbly Kelly will appear again soon and encourage you to follow madly after the Savior. I can promise you that being in Winchester surrounded by my past is a glorious reminder "that I have been chosen so that I can proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called me out of darkness into His marvelous light"! He is so worthy, the other option is just down right CRAP! I lived it for 23 years and my worst day on this side, does not even compare to the before. So may I truck on, be thankful for grace, really really thankful for grace and we'll try again tomorrow! His mercies being new is so gloriously refreshing!

K

Hello Blog World........................

2010-06-14T12:28:00.003-05:00

Yes, I am still alive. I have not been in the best mood this weekend. Our trip was on until the oil did offically move into Orange Beach Friday night so my mood has been rather grumpy. I am also going to an endocronologist in the a.m. after some not so perfect blood work and my fatigue is just making me think and move at the pace of a tired snail. I love you all! I promise to post pics and fun events in the weeks to come. Please just hang with me! That is what I am asking of everyone until I get better. I know satan's 400th attempt to get us down is NOT going to work so he should just move on!!!!!!!! Ok, I promise, good posts to come!

K

On to some good news.............

2010-06-06T20:44:00.003-05:00

Hello all! The Bullock Crew is making it's way (slowly but surely at least on my part) to the scene of the world wide web. Three years ago I couldn't dream of having my very own blog and now I officially have two. Also, Jeremy's work website is up and running and I can most certainly brag. My man is lacking no skills in the computer department and it looks FAB U LOUS! So by all means, please visit us on the links below and know how thankful we are for you! Have a glorious week!

K

http://www.myclarksvilleliving.com/

http://www.comewithmetoethiopia.blogspot.com/

Emotions................

2010-06-04T22:06:00.003-05:00

They can't be trusted, they make me crazy because they NEVER fit in a box, they make you feel yuck and they make you not want to do what you really need to do. For me that "need to do" is go to bed, but instead I thought I would start a blog. Great idea? So this oil spill, my heart breaks for the birds that are covered, the ocean that is filled, but honestly and selfishly, the most heart breaking thing for me right now is MY SUMMER VACATION! A friend and I were heading to Winchester in a week to grab my mom and my nephew and HIT THE BEACH! After much denial and putting our heads in the oily sand, pictures came today that proved that trip was not going to happen. So I am pouting. I know that is so mature and I wish I "felt" what I know as truth, but at the moment all I feel is "you were going to get to have tons of fun and girl time and Cross was going to have the trip of his life" and instead "I am going to sit in my hot, boring backyard and cry"! So sorry you guys are having to read me whine, but if you are on the east coast, less than 8 hours away from Winchester, TN and you have a 3 bedroom condo for rent that is available and that will not cause me to have to sell a limb, please give me a call! Otherwise, if you are really suffering from the oil spill, like your livelihood is refunding thousands of dollars or you are going to have to suffer from the consequences that I am certain no one in their wildest dreams could of imagined, please know that I know that I am being VERY petty! My God has richly blessed me and my life is so blessed and He will open the door when/if the time is right. I think I just needed to get on and have a little vent! Love you guys and thanks so much for listening!

K

What if?

2010-05-30T06:18:00.006-05:00

Good Morning Blog World! I write to you this Sunday morning from my Mom's house in Winchester, TN. We have been waiting for weeks and weeks to sneak away and come here. My mom loves Jeremy's handy, honey-do skills, and we love the chance for the whole world to stop and here it does so for free. We watch TONS of HGTV, eat lots, and rest even more. Cross woke up this morning and walked into the silence of the living room and screamed JAMES (my nephew, his only boy cousin) so the games I am certain are about to begin. I, however, am trying to sneak on to the internet and share with you what the Lord shared with me this a.m. because it might be the most profound thing I have ever read. I titled the post "what if" because all morning I kept thinking, "what if I had not picked this study back up", "what if my crazy alarm had not gone off (unintended)" and "what if I had not heard the Lord's still small voice, say "come on, I set it for you, I am dying to chat"".

Ok, where to start? Let me begin with the first sentence that caught my attention this early morning with no coffee since making it would have awaken all. Bear with me here, there will be a LOT of quoting from Mrs. Beth, but I am certain it will bless you as it blessed me, well I am most certainly praying it will at least! All of the below portion is coming from "When Godly People Do Ungodly Things" Week Three, Day Five.

"I got a bit of a late start writing today. Toward the end of the praise and worship service I attended in the den of my cabin this morning (by myself), I heard the voice of God speak to my heart: "Come and play.""

"I don't always hear Him like that, oh how I wish I did, but I don't. Sometimes we have to walk away from the deafening demands of our chaotic lives to inhale His sweet spirit."

"I lived much of my life having no idea how a mortal heart with eyes blinded to the object of their greatest pleasure could be so slain by immortal romance. I will not rest. Hear me. I will not rest until I have told everyone who will listen of this wondrous love."

"Oh Beloved, we sing of this love week after week in our perfectly timed orders of worship while heaven's hosts gather curiously and watch masses of mortals sing in one accord of a love they do not know."

"A fury rises within me, and my soul shakes its fist. Surely the vilest of all demons' doctrines tells us that love for God, since He is by essence unseen and untouched, is not something you feel. Lies!"

Friends, this is a fury that is in my soul as well and never in this lifetime could I have put it in more perfect words. Why, why, why is religion so rampant? Why, why, why is relationship so far from so many believer's reach? Why? It is because they are missing out on God's love! I don't get up in the a.m. to do some religious check list called a quiet time. I don't go to church(sometimes every time the doors open) to make myself feel better about life or to keep a legalistic ritual. I will for sure say that temptation is always there. It is always lurking it's ugly face. Religion is a seductive lie and it is always lurking. No, I promise you, I GO, I AWAKE, I listen to worship music and sermons and I burn them like crazy, to the point of breaking my burner, because I LOVE God's lavish LOVE! I am addicted. I would rather hear one word spoken over me from Him than a thousand from man. I sometimes feel like the lucky one because I did not grow up in church. I watch so many of my now friends who did and they battle the "do good" religious temptation over and over. When God specifically times His rescue for you in the middle of your most horrific sin ever, you feel LOVE! When you had NOTHING to offer Him, yet He chased madly after you, you feel LOVE! The lie so many believe that I just somehow had the grace to detect is "That love was meant for so-in-so." You fill in the blank, Beth Moore, Billy Graham, heck maybe even Kelly Bullock. Oh what a lie that would be!!!!!!!!!!!

So blog world, this Sunday day, let's not be a mass of mortals confusing the angels with a song that doesn't seem to match our hearts. HE LOVES US! He loves you and He loves me. HE DIED FOR US, what more proof would we need? I once heard, "So He was willing to die for us, but now He is not willing to talk to us?" Satan's lie really proves brilliant-If I get them to think He is far and distant, then they won't SEEK His presence and therefore they won't FEEL His love.

This past Friday our church did their monthly Night of Worship. Our worship leader causes me to press in like I have never pressed before. She causes me to CHASE the throne. "We won't be satisfied with anything ordinary, we won't be satisfied at all". That's a song I end up screaming to the top of my lungs. We were meant to be content in our lives, but never satisfied with ordinary and there is a HUGE difference. This a.m. I pray you worship not only at your church but also in your home, in the quietness and privacy of your backyard or on a stroll around the neighborhood! You may not "feel" anything when you get started. You may even "feel" angry, frustrated and unloved. But I can promise you, those would actually be just feelings and not truth. Truth states that Jesus is madly and wildly in love with YOU! He is dying for you to FEEL it and He promises, that if you seek Him, He will be found! I am jealous for you, I am jealous for my babies who will grow up in a Christian home, I am jealous that they will never have to battle the pulling reigns of religion. May they (nor you) be satisfied with anything ordinary, may we not be satisfied at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

K

Here is a great way to get started............
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPOKbgNP1ik&feature=related

Who has permission?

2010-05-26T05:33:00.002-05:00

Good Morning Blog World! It has been a crazy past few days as a sinus problem has come on the scene, my father went back into the hospital (he is fine now) which led to a spur of the moment trip to Winchester, which all contributed to me feeling physically thus mentally at my whits end. THEN an unexpected, 5 minute phone call, changed it all. You see, by God's great and amazing grace, I have a few friends in my life that have permission. Although we are all busy moms and rarely have time to chat for hours or even pray together for 10 minutes, they know they have permission to speak into my life, even if it hurts. That was exactly what happened yesterday. As my body was becoming more and more frail, I called a dear friend of mine who lives almost 1,000 miles away and left her a message and asked her to please pray for me. Well, as God would so graciously and personally do, He gave her insight and wisdom into my situation and she was bold enough to call me back and share. In a nut shell she said that the Lord had showed her that this was a spiritual battle and that my defenses were down, thus I was floundering at the fight. What a word that was, she had no idea the depths, but I most certainly did. Right now I am in between Bible Studies, thus my quite times are random at best. I have not really been IN the Word in weeks, maybe even a month, and it is showing. So often we separate the physical problems in our lives from the spiritual ones and so very often they really go hand in hand.

So I knew that I had to get a plan to build back my defense and that I needed to hurry! Ephesians 6 says to put on the full armour of God and I needed to start with the sword of the Spirit which is the Word. So I pulled out an old study, a Beth Moore that I had not finished. After opening to the page that was in line for me to begin and read "Seduce-Proofing Our Lives", I knew God was smiling saying, "not only will I show you the problem, but I will also supply the answer"! How good is He!

So I wanted to leave you with a few quotes from the study and ask you to pray that I build my armour back this week, this month and the years and lifetime I have ahead. And finally I wanted to ask you, who has permission? Who in your life has permission to call you out in love? Who in your life do you communicate with about your deepest junk (as well as everyday life) so that they know enough to share wisdom and truth? Who are you connected with enough, even if it is only per the phone, that has full permission to speak life into you by the leading and prompting of the Holy Spirit? This morning I praised God for my dear friend! I praised Him that although she now has 3 young children that He has given us the grace to still stay connected. I praised Him that He gave me the grace to listen to wise counsel and to wake up this a.m. and fight again!

So I leave you with this challenge. These people rarely fall out of the clear blue sky into our laps. They usually are relationships that we build along the way. They are friends we have taken the leap and chosen to be vulnerable with despite our always busy schedules. They are friends that we have ASKED to help us, to hang out with us, and to speak truth into us. So make sure today that you touch base with that someone who does in fact have permission and if you are lacking that someone, I ask that you spend some time praying and asking the Lord who that certain someone(s) is to be! I love you dearly, I am so thankful for a personal God that doesn't leave me hanging out to dry when I have missed the boat. No, He sends the rescue crew each and every time! Have a glorious Wednesday!

Because of Him,
K

Quotes from "When Goldy People Do Ungodly Things" Week 3

"Without happiness in Christ, any other source of joy can become a tool for seduction. Nothing will make you consistently happier than a vibrant relationship with Jesus Christ."

"We have a yes God who says no only to things that aren't worthy of His children and don't fit into their own personal 1 Corinthians 2:9s."

"............I pray that every one of us will know by heart that dissatisfaction is a stronghold waiting to happen. An unsatisfied soul should never be ignored."

Shhhhhhhhhhhhh

2010-05-22T15:44:00.004-05:00

No I will NOT let you take a picture of me in my surgery gown.................

Studying with my daddy..........

Say Cheese...................

My boo-boo, this is long gone, but we STILL talk lots about our boo-boo!

Do you hear that? Nope, it's not a screaming kid, it's not a barking dog, it's not a messy house calling out to be cleaned, no it is complete and utter silence!!! Oh Blog Friends, I have anxiously awaited this very moment for weeks and it has finally come! Why on earth and how on earth did I let life get so busy? For those of you who know me well I personally HATE the word busy! I am a firm believer in the fact that we ourselves set our schedules and ESPECIALLY as a stay at home mom it makes absolutely no sense for me to be too busy! My sweet husband has grown me so much in this area. As you can probably tell, even if you don't know me well, I am a bit hyper and a bit of a thrill junky, but my sweet man..............he is cooooooool, calm, and collective. He is never in a tizzy, never too busy, he has NO problem chilling and enjoying life. When we got married he made it very clear that we were not going to have something going on every night and every weekend. Well, now I am sold! I have looked forward to this very weekend for almost a month as it was the one scratched out in the calendar for absolutely nothing. After the Walk (which was amazing by the way if I forgot to update, the Center has to-date raised almost $27,000, thank you Jesus) and a million other things that were non-negotiable in the schedule, this weekend was a must. This morning I woke up and cleaned the house and although that is no one's most favorite job, man does it feel good when it is complete. I can still smell my glorious lavender Swiffer Wets! I also have my laundry done AND groceries bought AND meals planned for the week! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Now I am most certainly NOT saying all of this to brag or to rub it in your face in case you are where I was a few weeks ago and couldn't even get on and read this blog much less feel "caught up". No, I am writing it to say, it feels good and we should all do it a bit more often! Let's get with the Lord and let Him write our schedule and wouldn't you know, it works! Let's slow down, let's get the darn to-do list done, but then let's stop adding to it! Let's enjoy our lives, let's be good stewards of our time, let's give our bodies rest! Let's say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to about a billion "good" things in order to get what is best! Let's take a stroll around the cul-da-sac with our families and let's buy the clothes, and organize the closets, but when they are done, let's be DONE!

Ok, so didn't totally intend for that rant, but there it is and by the way, if you are local and haven't read the previous post, please do, if you are away, skip it, hahhahah! So where was I? Oh yes, I really got on to do some random and miscellaneous updates! I have been so thrilled to get to sit and catch up with many of you! I have the coolest blog friends EVER! One just completed an Iron Man, one has been having a Sleep Over since February, but I am sure there is a great reason for that. One just got a clean bill of health after a year long battle with breast cancer! THANK YOU LORD! One just had a baby after the Lord gave her great wisdom. She insisted on a test that proved her pregnancy a danger so they took the baby early and she is going great. That friend in particular I have never met personally, but oh how I love her heart! I thought it was high time that I actually posted a picture or two and sat down for a nice long hello chat. I think I'll even pause and go heat me up a cup of coffee for the event..............

WEW, much better! For some reason coffee and chats seem to just naturally go hand and hand. So let's start with J, well let me tell ya, that man makes me so proud. As I told you in the shortest post to date and probably ever, he did PASS all of his tests! He is one happy man not having to study any more and he is already loving his work. The Lord has been so faithful through this entire process and we have seen so much evidence of that faithfulness lately! Today I was reminded again of how thankful I am that J did not turn to sin and addiction during such a tough season, but that he stuck it out and now he is receiving his reward. He for sure has a new skip in his step! As I said before, we know life is most certainly not going to be perfect from here on out, but it DOES feel good to have such a major prayer answered and to say "so long" to the dessert land!

Now for my sweet little man Cross. Today as he had his hands in his pockets and his little baseball cap on talking to the neighbor using his all time favorite word "mon-mower" (lawn mower) over and over I could have just about died and gone to Heaven right there! He is talking up a storm now and we are most certainly sure that the tubes have worked! I guess living here in good ol Tennessee where the pollen count is outrageous, my sweet little guy has just not been able to hear for all of the fluid in his ears. After 14 million trial runs with just the right allergy medication I think we have a winner! So that, along with the tubes, is a go! As a mommy, it is so vital to your peace to find something that WORKS for any and all circumstances. I know we have a million hurdles to go, but that one has been jumped. Speaking of, while we are talking about victories, that boy, after what seemed like 3 months of non-stop spankings, is FINALLY staying in his bed like a champ. He is just not the kid that is going to obey without a fight. I have friends that say "oh my son, if you just mention the word spanking, he obeys". Well that sounds great and all and I pray fervently that the next ones are like that, but Cross seems to be a little more like "prove it to me". And we did! hahhahahha Also, a HUGE victory in the diaper rash area............milk allergy, yep, been on soy or almond for a few months now and not so much as even a hint of a rash! So many wins but before I sound annoyingly braggy, here is a note of "please pray for me, I am horrible at this". Cross is now a sponge for learning. He is counting and all kinds of crazy things now that he can talk and well, I'm not so good at all that. I can keep him clean and make him mind, but it is going to take some Holy Spirit influence for me to be good at sitting down with him several times a week and teaching him things. I like teaching the Bible to women, but a 2 year old colors.................well, I am just being honest! So please do pray for me! I don't dare want to miss a moment of growing that little brain for God's glory and it is NOT going to come natural, more like an act of the will! God's grace will be the ONLY way it will happen for certain!

And finally, me, you may be tired of reading by now so skip this part, the men in my life are for sure the most important. Where to start? Well, summer has arrived, Cross had his last day of school on Friday. I was a bit sad! All the moms in the parking lot seemed to be going in extra slow to get their kids. I am still working out some details about my summer work schedule and Cross' summer childcare schedule. God has given me a ton of peace because the futuristic planner in me doesn't do well with life being so up in the air. I guess considering this last year and a half, surely I can handle a little week of detail waiting! I am also working on all my details for my Ethiopia trip, shots, fundraising, need to start childcare details I guess too. I am very excited, but the reality of leaving my boys for 10 days has certainly hit. I can't help though but wonder if we have a baby girl there waiting? The Lord is speaking to me, but it seems to be best until it is all said and done to share. Otherwise a great amount of confusion could occur. Regardless I know there will be a glorious God story to come! I am certainly feeling the verse "more than we could have ever hoped or imagined". I love our life, sure I have days, but overall, I sit in awe of where the Lord has brought me. I do feel like He is showing me that it will be next year before we will be in our home of our own, but I think that too will be so much more than what I could of dreamed that it will be worth the wait. So all in all things are good. I have been struggling with some fatigue problems, but I have had blood work and only lack one test and if all is good a simple supplement will help. I am becoming more practical in life by the minute. My hair cut is easier. I can't decide if I like my bathing suit, but I can't handle putting that back on the to-do list so it will have to do. Who really LIKES a bathing suit anyway? This is a funny side note, but I have also joined the skirt club in the bathing suit department and our next vehicle purchase is most certainly going to be a mini van! I am fully embracing this thing called motherhood. No I am NOT going to wear jean skirts or pj's all day, but there are some things that I am not pridefully bucking anymore! This is truly becoming the greatest joy of my life and that is a good feeling. This cooperate working woman has for certain had the life change of a century, but by God's grace it is becoming more and more natural by the second!

Well, I just scrolled up and realized I now have a 5 page post so I better say so-long! I love you guys! I am so thankful we are on this Jesus journey together! I am so thankful He makes life worth living and trails worth having! They bring about fruit my friends and although I have a LONG way to go, I most certainly think I have come a long way even just this last year! Jesus, it is all by your grace and for your glory! Keep praying for me and I will do the same for you!

Save the Date................

2010-05-18T05:30:00.008-05:00

Hello friends and family, I feel like a total stranger! Often we can avoid those who we have not spoken with in forever because we know the catch up time will involve hours. I had that same reservation today as I logged on, but as much as I don't want to miss a single Praise Jesus detail, life has just been crazy, but crazy in a good way. For so much of last year I constantly felt at a stand still. We had no extra funds which so often felt like no life. I feel that season has most certainly passed and the thrilling joy of having a life has most certainly unleashed. Now I am praying that I won't have so much of a life that I miss living. Speaking of that, I went to a glorious Senior Salute for a sweet High School Graduate friend of mine the other night and I was bombarded with the message of Seizing the Day with your sweet babies. All you moms of little ones, it was heart wrenching thinking about being a mom of a "big one". Let's all seize the day! I think I have kissed Cross even more in the past 24 hours than ever before. To think of him walking across a stage receiving so much more than a silly diploma was almost more than I could bare! I'm sticking with fits and such and rocking that sweet baby as long as he will let me!

I came on to say hello, but also to have a bit of a "Save the Date" request with my hometown girls (and guys if you are out there)! Know I love you dearly far-from-here readers, these are just a few fun times that I must share with the ones from around here! First and foremost, I have a dear friend who is obeying a vision from the Lord and having what she calls a Praise Jesus Party! She has been so floored and honored by His great work and mercy over these past few years in her own life and she knows others feel the same! I personally am most excited because the party is being held on Pentecost (this coming Sunday)! How cool that her church is honoring the day that religion was ushered out and Relationship was ushered in through the Holy Spirit!! The event will be held at Madison Street United Methodist Church at 5 p.m. on Sunday. If you are interested and need more details or want me to save you a seat, please just shoot me an email at bullockfamily77@gmail.com.

Next is what I will call "A Good Excuse!" I personally could eat Chick-fil-a everyday of my life. I have shared my love for that place with you guys before, but this is just another GREAT excuse to justify having a night of no cooking, no cleaning, no begging your kids to please eat their vegetables AND you would be supporting my trip to Ethiopia, all in one swift swoop! Chick-fil-a on Madison Street has been SO kind to offer me a night of support this coming Wednesday the 26th of May from 5-8p.m. I will have details about my trip and the hubs and son will be joining me. All you have to do is come and let the order-taker know that you are there for "Kelly's Trip" and I will receive a portion of the proceeds. I will also be taking donations for my immunisations which is NO small fee and probably NOT covered by insurance! What a glorious blessing this opportunity is and to the Blevins I say thank you, thank you for having such generous, giving, and Christ centered hearts! What an honor to call you friends!

And finally, the Hope Pregnancy Center's Annual Mother/Daughter Tea is in a few short weeks. Details can be found at http://www.friendsofclarksvillehope.com/events.php and know that it is not just for Mothers and Daughters ONLY, it can be for any great gal friends to enjoy!

So that's it my fellow friends. I pray that you will pull out your calendar's right now and SAVE THE DATES! I love you all and until next time when I promise to attempt to really catch up, have a glorious week following Jesus!!!!!!!!!

K

He..............................

2010-05-12T13:07:00.001-05:00

Passed!!! He passed! He passed! He passed! No time to chat, at work, but had to share! Love you! Thank you for your prayers!

K

Moms.......................

2010-05-08T20:41:00.003-05:00

Hello everyone and a special hello to all of the Moms or Moms-to-be or Moms wanting-to-be that are reading! Please know that so often I get on and vent like crazy about my little guy, but tonight as he "snuck" Percy (the train in case you have girls or no clue who that is) into bed, I have never been so madly in love in all my life. If there is one thing this Mother (with a love language of touch) will never lack on giving is kisses! I sometimes cannot contain myself with that sweet little boy! He is saying the cutest things these days. Side note: We think we are seeing some speech improvement already, but it is so hard to discern between natural progression, wishful thinking and the tubes making a real difference. He says, fas car and gets so excited that he can hardly stand himself. Jeremy also has him going over ALL of his colors, like 15 of them, and he repeats every single one! I couldn't believe it! Speaking of that sweet man, he is one great Daddy and one good looking husband. I happen to be very in love with him right now so by all means I must brag away! He has started his new job and takes his big test soon so please pray lots! That is the last major hurdle!!!!!

Ok, where was I, oh yes, the point was MOMS! You guys see those two cards above, you are never going to believe this but I opened the mail yesterday and two friends had sent me the EXACT same card and they arrived on the EXACT same day! What a sweet gift to show me how truly blessed I am! I have the best friends in all the world and I never ever want to take that for granted! So Delilah and Emily LA, you have no clue how that brightened my day and how much I love the both of you and think you are the greatest moms ever! Em I swear if you make one more adorable cupcake thingy I will have to refrain from reading your blog and D your on-fire passion for the Lord and desire to mother your babies to the best of your ability is absolutely contagious!

So to all the moms out there, I say a GREAT JOB and KEEP STRIVING! Someone told me today in joking, "But Kelly no one lives in the perfect world" and I said back "I know, but can't we at least try to go visit". In all seriousness, the Bible does call us to strive and the even better part is that He offers us the power and the grace to get there! So let's use this day as a blessing and as a recharge! Let's shepherd those butts and see glorious results as we show our children the Gospel! Let's go play and leave our phones in the house and look forward to a summer filled with memories in the making. Let's look past all the ways our lives are not perfect or what we would like them to be and let's build into our kids in hopes that their's will be a bit more paved in grace! Let's be the moms God has called us to be and beat the punk who coined the "screw UP" condemnation we are constantly facing! I love you all!!!!!!

Happy Mother's Day!

Kelly

Nothing makes sense...................

2010-05-05T05:50:00.004-05:00

Good Morning Blog World. I come to you this a.m. with a very sober attitude and heart. I have hesitated to blog because it seems impossible to get on and "chitty chat" while so many in the Middle Tennessee area are experiencing such massive loss and damage. I have heard so many stories this week, just little tidbits here and there, that have made life moving on seem down right wrong for us and more important, impossible for others. I wanted to include a photo to give you a tiny taste of what is going on in our city alone. In case you are an out-of-towner, we experienced record levels of rain this past Saturday and Sunday. With that rain and a state full of major rivers and lakes, the flooding has been more than anyone could have conceived. We are about 40 minutes Northwest of Nashville, the area hit the greatest. Pictures of Nashville have such a striking resemblance to Katrina that it is most eerie. The picture above is a small snap shot of our "Riverside" area. There is a grave amount of damage that is not shown to the "left" of the photo, but this gives you an idea! So needless to say, our community and surrounding areas could use your prayers. It is even more surreal when you know the people who own these businesses and were building the marina. It is (and should be) so hard for those of us who live in unharmed areas to even go about our days without feeling utterly guilt stricken that the greatest inconvenience for us at the moment is having to take a detour downtown. Pray that we, as the body of Christ, pull together in a mighty way and show this town His love, His grace, and His mercy through our efforts to rebuild! May anything satan meant for harm, all be used for His good!

Last night as I sat in church for a night of prayer and worship, a pastor from Nashville spoke and I thought to myself, "I finally have the words to post a blog". He said, "Nothing makes sense..............without the Gospel". You see, why does our nature seem to war against us, because even it groans for the returning of our Savior. Why did Adam and Eve sin in that garden, because God gave us the chance at free will instead of the demand of loving robots. Why did anything get spared and the rain stop, because of God's covenant with Noah. And why do all things work together for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose, because of the Cross. You see, without Jesus, nothing does make sense. But with Him, this horrific catastrophe along with the millions of others that seem to be occurring day after day after day are proof of even an earth that groans for a Savior and a God who was so gracious to send One! Let's pray that through this, people who would have normally gone about their everyday lives without a care in the world, will now see their vast need for a Savior. Pray that redemption comes in this land, but more importantly in the hearts of us sinners!

God even today, you are faithful and worthy of our praise! You are the only reason hopeless situations do in fact have hope! You are the only reason that what looks impossible is not! You are the only reason that we can look at a situation like this and see any chance of good following its footprint. Nothing makes sense..................without YOU!

Kelly

Blogger of the year award..........

2010-04-27T16:03:00.004-05:00

Hey everyone! So for you guys who enjoy a daily read I am certain to get blogger of the year or at least blogger of the week award. But for those of you who have not signed on in months I am certain you are a bit overwhelmed. Yesterday in particular was quite interesting. Two in one day can show you the vast emotions a woman can feel in a small 12 hour "period"! hahahahaha Today we have a new set of circumstances which is giving me another chance to say hello. I have a sick boy on my hands. His fever shot up in an hour this a.m. and then after a throw-up episode I was in mommy freak out mode because of his tubes, but it turns out that he just has a virus that is floating around town and his tubes have nothing to do with it. So, after 2 Nemo's and our 3rd Bambi (which Cross has only been awake for a total of 30 minutes all day) I am craving a bit of adult conversation. I have never been so thankful for my Crackberry with unlimited talk/txt/internet. It has kept me sane. Cross hasn't been much of a fan of mommy leaving his side which is my snuggle dream, but after the 8th hour now I am a bit stir crazy. I was home all day yesterday and now will be home all day tomorrow so needless to say I have a bit of time on my hands. Sure I could clean or work, but I thought saying hello to you again would be a bit more fun! I love to write and just have to force myself to condense my thoughts into a manageable post. I would just assume tell you my whole life story, detail to detail, but that probably won't help me win friends and influence people so let's settle today on the word BABY and maybe tomorrow we'll go elsewhere. I did want to attach an amazing blog a friend of mine did in regards to the Beth Moore conference this weekend. I was dying to tell you guys all about it, but I didn't know how on earth I would type all the notes and SHE DID! I promise it is in your best interest to print them out and get up early in the a.m. with your Jesus (and your coffee) and study! http://thesmittysdbq.blogspot.com/2010/04/youve-been-bad-friend.html

Ok, so baby or babies maybe I should say. You have certainly all endured my highs and lows in regards to being a mommy! Your greatest dream come true and then your biggest reality check to date. When J and I were married, he insisted on waiting 5 years before having children. I submitted with resistance. I am sure my mother nature would have been fine with waiting all of about 5 days, but God and Jeremy knew best now I see. After 2 1/2 years of marriage Jeremy and I got the greatest shock of our adult life, I was pregnant. I think I smiled for at least a month straight. Me, God really chose me, and with everything from my past I was certain I would not be able to get pregnant when it was time to try. I never dreamed I would get pregnant when we were trying not to. Jeremy's heart had softened so much in the baby arena and he was thrilled beyond belief. So December 2007 our sweet Cross was born. Then the following year in the fall we got shock number 2, again, while trying not to, I was pregnant. Cross was only going to be 18 months when the new baby was born. I can't remember all of the details (I was too busy throwing up) but Jeremy had just resigned from his job. We had no job, a toddler that was getting into everything, and a mom/wife who couldn't hold her head up she was so sleepy and sick. In God's faithful sovereignty we moved back to Clarksville on the 2nd week of my 2nd trimester so I felt like a new woman and had finally gotten excited about our new phase of life ahead. It was December and we shared Christmas here with J's family and began to prepare as though a baby was on the way! I remember unpacking the house and saying, "put that in the baby's room, oh that goes in the baby's room". I never dreamed of what was to come.

The Lord had given us a girl's name long before Cross was born, but we had since been on the look out for a boy's name "just in case". We always wanted the kids to be close together so once Cross came along, all bets were off. Sure we weren't really shooting for 18 months close, but we were excited all the same. Cade was the winner. I have a friend from our Gatlinburg girls trip whose son's name is Cade and one year I heard her say his name and ding ding, Jeremy loved it so it was the winner. I was just waiting on the Lord to give me the other 1/2 of the name. Would we use Cade as a middle like we had done Cross and would they have the same initials?? Yes and Yes! Joshua Cade Bullock the Lord spoke so clearly to me one day. It was before I was pregnant even and I remember exactly where I was sitting, studying Joshua's faith to enter the Promise Land and I thought "that is the kind of faith I want my sweet baby to have". So girl or boy, we were set! We never dreamed, in our wildest imaginations, what would happen next.

On our way home from visiting my family I started having severe pains. I am going to be brutally honest in this section so bare with me. I thought/hoped/prayed and vainly even believed that it was gas. I will never forget staring at the clock in the car and the light bulb going off, my "gas" was exactly 2 minutes apart. I called the OBGYN on call and she assured me it was gas, "this time of the year people eat so many odd things, it happens all the time, just pull over and drink 60 ounces of water and it will be all better, but if you do start to bleed go the the ER". The ER??? She said it like "there's nothing we can do in that case". Maybe she didn't hear me say I am 16 WEEKS?? J pulled over and I was in so much pain, Cross was in the back seat and I entered the gas station to get my water and proceeded to the restroom. My eyes almost bugged out of my head, not just a little bleeding, tons of bleeding. I ran out, asked the lady where the nearest hospital was, threw her some cash for my water, all the while in the most horrific pain, and walked/ran back to the car. If you walk into an ER and tell them you are in labor, you get back immediately, but you still don't get seen immediately. By the time the doctor got there I had prayed like a crazy woman and I was in the fetal position rocking because of the pain. She looked at me after checking me and started the journey of conversation that would break my heart. I told her over and over that she had to do an ultrasound, that she had to stop my labor. Just give me "that shot" as if I had any clue what the heck I was talking about. They did grant me an ultrasound after checking the baby's perfect heartbeat and the nurse never let me see, but I could read her face regardless. The baby was fine, but she knew it wouldn't be much longer. Not long after my ultrasound my water broke and I entered labor and delivery. I will spare you all of those horrific details, but by that point I was so drugged that I couldn't even talk much less "feel". I watched my man break, never before had I witnessed that and it scared me half to death.

So weeks and months later, the Lord healed my broken heart and I prayed through when on earth we would try again. I didn't want to do anything out of emotion. I didn't want a rebound pregnancy and quiet honestly I knew I couldn't handle it. I needed a word from the Lord and He gave me one, "wait until the end of summer". Oh how manageable that word was. The end of the summer came and went, Jeremy refused to allow us to try until he had a job. I was so mad at the Lord. Then finally Jeremy said, "I don't want the kids to be any further apart" so the green light to trying was a go. I always assumed God would work in my box. Maybe He had tested to see if I would wait and submit to my man?? I had and I was ready for Him to BLESS! Month one, month two, month three. Maybe I should start tracking my cycle? I have a very lovely cycle of 21 days and a sometimes 10 day "visitor". That explained a lot, but now I had Googled my weird cycle and I knew the trick. It is comical to even type, but I am being honest here. I would also like to mention that sometime during all of the craziness J mentioned something about God showing him we would adopt a baby girl one day, He even had given J the name. I didn't give much thought to that at the time. Maybe one day, but that was NOT in my plan. So the master month with the master info comes and goes and sure enough, I am LATE! I was on cloud nine. Didn't tell J just yet. The fertility dysfunction is all locked up in the woman's head without a key, some of you know all too well! I know the day, date, cramp, tenderness, maybe, maybe this is it??????? DAY 8 of being late and I start spotting. Oh goodness, how can I be spotting? Why aren't my tests coming back positive, maybe it is just too early to tell. Well the end of that story comes cramping that is keeping from getting out of bed. The reality and confirmation from a friend, I could be having another miscarriage. Blood work done, blood work lost, blood work redone.................blood work negative! WEWWWWWWWWWW praise the Lord, but I secretly knew there was a whole other set of emotions that now must be dealt with. The when/where/why and how was the only thing that had consumed my mind, now I had to consult with the Man in charge of it all. I had to take Him my fears, anger, disappointment, and frustration and once again allow Him to heal my broken heart. So I did, and He did, and then last week when another month had come and gone, the next reality hit...........AFRICA! I would now have to use drastic (especially since our track record is low) measures to NOT get pregnant until after Africa. Vaccinations and first trimester timeline would make it an absolute NO! So once again, we'll try again, at the end of summer!

I can laugh and smile from ear to ear as I type those words because of His great healing and grace. I wonder if He is saying no because of adoption? I wonder if orphanages in Africa have anything to do with our adoption? I wonder if He is giving J a job that will be able to pay for that possibility? Jeremy has always wanted a diverse family and I wonder if the redheads will be mixed with some skin that will be the literal opposite? I wonder if I'll get to do a little African baby girl's hair? I still hope and pray that I will get to carry and nurse a baby again one day, but regardless, I DO KNOW HE HAS A PLAN!

So there you have it, our baby journey thus far! Thank you so much for reading. I may be typing only for my healing or for my legacy to be down on paper, but either way, I am honored you come along for the ride!

K

Running Away...........................

2010-04-26T19:09:00.003-05:00

Hello friends, tonight I tried my very very best to run away. After a long, emotional morning (Cross did great by the way, not the smallest of glitches even) and a not so perfect night's sleep last night I am finished. I am also getting some blood work done, long story, but in the past I have had something called adrenal fatigue and I could just about bet my levels are low again. I feel like I could fall asleep standing up and by the end of the day, the very sound of footsteps makes me want to kill someone. That is why I am writing now, because I am doing my very very best to run away. I was trying to be a good wife and make dinner and then during a conversation with J about his meat being too chewy and the face that makes me feel like an idiot after a conversation about the color of a certain shirt, I smiled, told him I loved him madly, told him Cross did not need a bath, and then nighty night. It was only 6:30 and I was beyond ready to run away. Cross decided to be my shadow, I finally locked him out and then they all demanded in 30 minutes later. They are now in the bedroom next door and I wish they would just not talk! hahhahhahahaha This is cranky, tired mom and I need to get me some sleep and some supplements before someone loses a limb. Thank you for reading my random ramblings and thank you so much for your prayers for Cross this a.m. I do love my men and I will act like it in the morning, but for now I would greatly appreciate if they or I could just run away!

Love you guys!
K

Newest of News...............

2010-04-26T05:38:00.002-05:00

Good Morning Blog World! I am attempting a quick post before I head to the shower and begin to prepare for Cross' surgery to get tubes in his ears. If I think about it too much my mind can begin to wonder so I am staying busy, trusting God, and putting one front in front of the other until we get there. Once he has gone back, I have done my part and the Lord and the doctor will just have to do theirs.

J has one week to go in his studies. Please pray for him as several ducks must line up nicely in a row this week and you know how ducks can sometimes be. He is shooting to take his test on Saturday and I am going out of town Friday and Saturday for a conference (that I promise to tell you all about once I return). This timing doesn't seem great, but I know the Lord is calling me to go and thus He will work out all of the Cross/studying details. So just pray that we are all diligent this week with our time. J in the area of studying and me in the area of setting my man up for success and taking care of Cross!

The new blog header verse is the real topic at hand this a.m. I took a huge leap (of faith hahaha) and changed the blog header. It was so hard. The Lord gave me the previous verse [Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10] 2 years back when I started this blog. He gave it to me as a declaration to claim over our family. It wasn't just some verse I stuck up there to sound like I love Jesus. No, it was my heart's cry that I would (our entire family would) have a clean heart and most clearly, a steadfast spirit. Meaning that we would learn to walk steadfastly (24/7) in the Spirit. I know that we have by no means arrived, but as a dear friend told me last night, we may not be where we want to be, but we are a long way from where we were! I do feel like the Lord has given us so much grace to walk in the spirit more fervently. Jeremy even said the other night, "I can tell when I am working on real estate and God is doing it and when I am trying to do it." He could sense the flow! That may sound weird and super spiritual, but think about it like this, he could sense when God was anointing it and when He was giving him the grace in the timing. But J could just as easily sense when he was trying to do something in his own power because it felt very similar to banging his head into the wall. Having a steadfast spirit is so much more than doing the big things God is calling you to do, it is about obeying little promptings like "help that person" or "get away from that person" or even "you forgot to put your blinker on dummy" (in the most playful dummy sort of way).

So anyway, the new theme verse started back in January when I gallivanted to Texas to see my good friend Beth with my good friend Emily. Emily texted me like 5 words and said "pick one". I was staring at a decorative piece in some friends' house at the time that said "faith" so I text back, faith........... It turned out that word wasn't just the word that would cover my fun new journal for the weekend. No, it was what God would speak over me and attempt to drill into my mind for the months (and I am certain) years to come. FOR IT IS IMPOSSIBLE...................... That was/is so powerful! If I don't believe that He IS (which is as nailed down in my life as my two big toes) and that He REWARDS those who earnestly seek Him then I can NOT please Him, it is impossible. So I personally am choosing to believe. I am choosing to look forward with great anticipation for the rewards that will come with my seeking. I am choosing to get excited about my/our future as a family. I am choosing to BELIEVE that He has things out there for us that you and I will look back at Winter 2007 when this blog began and think to ourselves, "never in a million years could I have dreamed of what He had in store for this everyday average family".

So how about you this morning? Are you plainly NOT pleasing God? Not because you are a crappy mom at times or because you didn't get your booty up and out to church yesterday morning. No, not because your children are running a muck or because you haven't had a quiet time in a year. The question at stake is do you believe that He is? And then secondly, do you believe with all of your heart that if you spend your entire life seeking Him that there is a very great reward? If not then the Scriptures (not me) say that you are not pleasing God! Please Him this Monday morning dear friend! Please Him and believe that He is first and foremost! That one has got to be nailed down. But then please Him and look past the junk and skunk in your life today and know down in the marrow of your bones that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. And then by golly be the exception to the Christian rule and EARNESTLY SEEK HIM! Don't be some casual church attender or everyday business man, no be some radical sold out seeker of Christ. Be someone who gets up early or stays up late and actually reads His Words and expects Him to speak. Don't be Susie nice Christian or Jimmy who goes to church a lot, no be someone who would just assume life come crashing down than for His presence to not be near.

I tell you the truth, God has opened my spiritual eyes over these last few weeks and I feel like I am watching a movie (that just happens to be my own) on the very edge of my seat. You see, when I first began seeking God, He rewarded me and that is the understatement of the year. See my fine man up there at the top of the page and then that smaller version, those guys are a huge part of my very great reward. But even more important than that, His presence is my greatest reward. Often people look at me like I am one cake short of a cup, but I hear my God speak. He makes me laugh and shows me insight and calls me friend. And please know that I am not saying that to brag, but I am saying that so someone out there will get a little Holy jealousy and want what I have. I want you to want it and then by His grace go and get it! Not my man you do understand, hahhahaha, your own!

In all seriousness, I prayed the other day, Lord I really want every single person I know to have what I have and we all know I am NOT meaning stuff. I want you to have peace that passes all understanding, breakthroughs, bondage's broken, addictions kicked, habits changed, anger manged (or at least better). I want you to have joy that is unspeakable and a life that matters. I want us all to get every single morsel of our earthly and our eternal reward. Sure the Bullocks have just gone through a wilderness season, but I know, know, know that it was just that, A SEASON!!!!!!!!!! My days and my life will be marked by His reward and that season I know will be used to make me mature enough to handle whatever greatness He has to come. So I leave you with this loved one, don't get overwhelmed with the life long task at hand, just have faith.................seek Him today.................and then the reward will come. I dare you!

K

Say booooooooooooooooo

2010-04-23T06:54:00.006-05:00

Good Morning Everyone! This a.m. as I was having a full out Jesus party in my car, I thought to myself, if I go home at 7 a.m. and wake my husband with my super peppy God story he is certain to think "my wife is a bit much"! So, I decided instead I would share with you who are already fully aware that "I AM A BIT MUCH"! Sometimes God gives you great Jesus days, but not always. Sometimes you have to put one foot in front of the other and keep truckin and then out of no where comes a full on Jesus party that brings more joy to your life than all of your desired circumstances being fulfilled combined. I promise to get online this weekend and share a bit more about some personal issues we have been dealing with regarding getting pregnant again. It is a super long story so for now I am just going to share with you the awesome God morning and save the rest for later.

Ok, so last year a friend of mine and I started biking in the mornings, like super early in the mornings. I hated it at first (as with all exercise I am sure) but I grew to love it. I loved the sun beaming down, the wind blowing on my face as I went down hill, even the feeling of accomplishment when you couldn't walk because you had worked your legs so hard. Well, winter came so that party was over and even though the weather has gotten much warmer here, I don't have a bike of my own and my friend was doing something else to workout so we hadn't gotten back together for our early a.m. fun. BUT THIS MORNING, God knew exactly what I would need. This morning marked another month that I am for sure not pregnant but when we got back on those bikes, God gave me more joy than I could hardly bare. So much joy that once again, I am a bit much but I am so thankful HE IS ALWAYS a bit more!!

Ok, so on with the story: I always get back in the car after riding bikes and open the sunroof. It is like I become addicted to the outdoors and I can't go back. Then I blaired the music because that is a requirement if your sunroof is open. Remember that song that I told you I loved from Switchfoot, "A Mess of Me" SURE ENOUGH it came on the second I pulled out of her driveway. Then I went and got gas (I had to turn the radio down at that point because it was 6:35 a.m. and as I pulled into Kroger I realized I was the only human on earth that was wide awake and happy). Then I started recalling a dream the Lord put in my heart years and years ago about being a soccer mom and hauling all the neighborhood kids around in my suburban (then, minivan now) and rolling down all the windows and singing to the top of our lungs. During this current season we have a toddler, so I decided I would just go ahead and practice. I popped in none other than my ALL TIME FAVORITE, Veggie Tales. Now as if you need a reason to go to Chick-fil-a (EVER) they are currently putting CDs of Veggie Tales songs in their kid's meals. People, does it really get any better than that, amazing food, super clean play area, someone who walks around refilling your drink and taking your tray AND Veggie Tales?? Ok, where was I? Oh yes, there is a song on one of those CDs that is for certain a poetic masterpiece of this day so I just had to get on and share. I haven't even checked yet, but something tells me youtube will deliver!
But my prayer (and my point thank goodness I am sure some of your are screaming) is this, that somehow in my miscellaneous rambling you will see that the joy of the Lord is not always evident in my life nor in my reality, but that when it is, it is because He is real and alive and active in my everyday going and coming. He didn't give me a baby this a.m., but He did give me a bike ride and a Switchfoot song and if you even dare say the word coincidence in my presence over this you better for sure expect a swift smack. No, He didn't dump a home in my lap or a million dollars in my savings, but He did give someone the words to that "Say Boo" song that almost made me laugh so hard that I could have wrecked the car. No, He didn't speak to me in a booming voice or even a small whisper this a.m., but He did give me hope of a future that I am certain I am not even going to believe He had written just for me. So where ever you are this April weekend in life, "say boooooo"! Dance a bit in your car! Act very immature in front of your children (in a good way, not in an M and M moment kind of way) and open that sunroof or sing that ridiculous song so loud that Kroger and everyone else watching or not thinks you may have lost your ever loving mind! He is going to reign in your circumstances, but as for now, just allow Him to reign in your day!

I love you JESUS!
K

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gQXa9SgrtE

Bullock Family UPdate......................

2010-04-19T14:38:00.002-05:00

Hello friends and family! I am sneaking a few minutes while the movie distraction is working. I almost got poop on me about 5 minutes ago and I let my child fall off the changing table this a.m. so life here is rocking along perfectly in toddler/motherhood land! I hope you are doing well as well! In all seriousness, it is hard to believe that we really are coming out of this season and although life is not perfect (nor did I expect it to be) it does "feel" better even though not a ton has actually changed. I don't know how to explain it other than my spirit is at peace, my soul is praising Jesus for this blessing. I can just tell we are entering in to our promise land or maybe more apparent, out of our wilderness season. I know that is not a great explanations, but that is the best I can offer for now!

My man is knocking out his school like a champ! He is having to do some serious time management, studying every possible second he can while still having some rest, working full time and being a great dad and husband so keep the prayers coming. As you can see, I also tricked him into "family photos" for his new website (which I promise to share as soon as it goes live)! We have been making fun of him all weekend, calling his head shot a glamour shot. He has laughed tons and loved smiling until his face literally hurt, NOT. A dear friend did them and she obviously did an amazing job! I feel so blessed!!!!!! I have a beautiful family, a God that rocks my world every single day (regardless of whether or not I am even aware) and a future that only He could write. I love the new song out by Switchfoot "Mess of Me"! Let me tell you guys, I have made a mess of me and I know for sure the sickness was and is myself, but I BY ALL MEANS want to reverse the tragedy and spend the rest of my life alive!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LG2SCkID2M

So here goes a quick Bullock Family UPdate and yes we are UP for sure!!!!!!

1. Haircut- So I did chop off my hair and yes slowly, but surely I am loving it! I bit the bullet on purpose to cut down on the dry time and this a.m. when I fixed my hair in about 5 minutes flat I was thrilled. I did feel like my neck was a bit naked for a day or two (not to mentioned incredibly white) but Jeremy gives it a 3 thumbs up so that really is all that matters in my opinion.

2. J has two more weeks of work and his goal is to knock out his licensing within those two weeks. He has finished the first 1/2 and is now working on the second half this week and then he will have a week to review and take the test. This is for sure the fast track so please pray for a ton of favor.

3. Cross, handsome, in need of a great amount of focus and training (which is NOT happening at the moment), all BOY, obsessed with mom-movers (lawn mowers), allergy infested (which is no friend to his mowing obsession but right or wrong, I personally chose living life over allergy avoidances). Along those lines, he is getting tubes in his ears this coming Monday. We went through tons of testing and that is the cause of his speech delay. They explained it as learning to talk with cotton balls in his ears so pray tons for that. The problem was a bit camouflaged because we have warded off actual ear infections but he still USUALLY has fluid on his ears. I am excited for the talking, not so excited about the ear plugs all summer.

Ok, that's all I can get in for now without totally neglecting the kid! Love you guys!!!!!!!!!!

K