Calling on all married women............

I wrote this one a few weeks ago and am just now getting to post.....

Ok ladies, this blog is just for you and I pray you can detect the vast urgency of this message as you read. In Jeremy and I’s few short years of ministry there is NOTHING that breaks our hearts more than watching a marriage that is every adjective other than abundant. I’m not even talking about the ones who are borderline divorce, no often times those couples are at least getting to the nitty gritty of communication, past hurts and pains, and the changes that it would take to make the marriage work. No, I am especially heartbroken by the “Christian Cohabiters” that think divorce would never be an option but settling for a crappy marriage is somehow heroic at worst or all that is optional at best. On the flip side of this, I have watched (or am watching) several girlfriends lately get into the ring and fight like cats (ladies don’t fight like dogs ) for their marriages and women let me tell you, I am on the sidelines as your greatest fan.

In addition to those we have observed, I also want to share with you a brief testimony about our own marriage just so you won’t dare be naive enough to think this just comes natural to either of us (our closest friends are laughing, thinking, don’t worry, we know). J and I are the FIRST to admit that the only thing good about our first year of marriage was the honeymoon and the tax write off. Other than that, life as blissful newly weds felt a little more like hell on earth. So when year two rolled around I have no clue what was going through his mind but mine was thinking this was about as far from John 10:10 as life gets so I am going to dig in with the Lord until He reveals to me what on earth I need to do to make things better. I didn’t even care what Jeremy needed to do although I, like most women, thought I could make a list, but I knew God was telling me that was absolutely none of my business. So, I read every stinkin Christian book on marriage that I could get my hands on and started dying daily to my flesh and actually trying to put into practice all the amazing wisdom that was being revealed to me through authors that desired so dearly to see marriages succeed. Now, a few years later I can say that the man I use to wish would change in every way possible is the absolute love of my life and as I minded my own business, magically some things that really did break my heart actually started to change as well. Now I lay in bed at night, holding my man, thinking to myself, “I didn’t even know it could be this good”. I really believe that we certainly didn’t “arrive at blissful” because neither of us are all that great of people, we are both far from it. No, I truly believe that it’s God’s blessing on our lives because we have studied what the Word has to say about marriage and obeyed. I feel like we are reaping the reward from a season in the trenches.

Which brings me at least closer to my point. You have all heard me go on and on about my mentor in Elizabeth City and I want (and she would want) everyone to know that I don’t think she is SUCH a godly woman because she has arrived. No, I think she is SUCH a godly woman because she is teachable. If I share something with her that the Lord is showing me, she is praying that next day that the Holy Spirit will help her put it in action in her own life. Likewise, she will often call me ranting and raving about some awesome revelation she is having (which almost always includes conviction) and I know she is going to do so much more than just “amen” it, she is going to live it because she wants all this life has to offer and she knows that road is paved with obedience and wisdom to and from the Lord.

Well, for the past few months her raving has settled in on one particular marriage book and I decided that it was a must to share this with all of you for sure. I know some of you out there don’t have a “Merideth” (that’s my mentor’s name) in your life right now so by all means please, please let me share mine. But I want to preface the title with a very thought provoking question at the risk of sounding naggy. Ladies, I want you to take this one to the spiritual bank in prayer because it is the lesson the Lord has been sifting in me for a year now and I think there is a nugget of truth behind the refining that could open a door to an insanely fulfilled destiny in Christ.

I first want to ask you this, do you believe that if the Bible makes a blanket command for a gender or any certain group of people that we are in direct disobedience if we are not following it? Let me give you an example to get your wheels turning. In 1 Timothy there is a section of scripture that is directed towards men, women, and then overseers and deacons. My question to you is, as you are reading the Word (which no offence has GOT to be step one to knowing God’s will for your life in the first place) and you see those people groups, does a light go off in your head, “if I fall under that category, then is that calling is also for me and most importantly, if I am refusing that calling do I view it as disobedience to God or even the more detailed reality to view it as sin against God?”

Well, the scripture that literally brings me to my point as well as to the title of my mentor’s latest book is all the way back in Genesis at the time of creation. Gen 2:18 which reads, “The Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Ok, so…………Eve was CREAETED to be his (Adam’s) help mate, so we as wives have a choice to make, do we think that calling was specified to Eve or could it be that I too was created to be my man’s help mate (goodness know mine needs it, wait, did I just say that out loud)???

“Created to be his Help Meet” by Debbie Pearle (www.nogreaterjoy.org) has been my mentor’s latest “wow” moment over and over and over and let me assure you my friend is well read so if she says this book has truths worth repeating throughout almost every conversation she finds herself in then by all means we would be wise to take her advice, order our own copy today and grab the brightest highlighter we can find and get to work.

Ladies, this book I am suggesting may come across like an out-dated, 50’s way of thinking, but if you and I will have a teachable spirit mentality, I think we will be a lot closer to fulfilling our divine destiny rather than living in direct disobedience to the Father’s Word. 1 Samuel 15:22 says obedience is better than sacrifice. The Lord knew it would be easier for us to “appear spiritual” than to dig in the trenches of obedience like my mentor constantly models for me, but let me assure you that although her nails may have gotten dirty along the way, I can promise you her husband “sings her praises at the city gates” ( Proverbs 31) and for those of you who have ever experienced that victory in marriage, there is no greater feeling on this earth.

So again, the ball is in your court, if you are more spiritual than me and your immediate thought each morning is “how can I serve my husband today” (mine looks a little more like a to do list he can do to serve me) then by all means, this one may not be for you. But if you, like me, tend to find that calling about as far from my created purpose as any calling may be then we just may be wise to seek some wisdom and certainly some conviction in this category.

I want to leave you with one last question that has pondered or haunted me; however you want to look at it, over this past year. What IF God would not allow you to be fulfilled in any other calling in life unless you nailed this CREATED calling down first? What if He has an amazing life and calling in store, but He knows the importance of order, and quiet frankly I may be saying “Jeremy who” if work was going great or if I could engulf myself in the kids. It’s just a thought, but I personally am trying to be willing to do the work to fulfill my created purpose in order to experience all this life on earth has to offer!

Let’s walk the walk instead of talking the talk!
Kelly