Thursday, July 29, 2010

Overwhelmed.............................

Hello Sweet Friends,

I thought I would try for a much lighter post here in Bullock Family Land. Come with me to Ethiopia can be a bit overwhelming, especially to me because I am still almost fainting at resturants when someone says "no thank you" to a to-go box or when I had to clean out my fridge or when each day at lunch I throw away enough food from Cross' plate alone to feed a hungry child so I think we all need a good laugh. I thought I should get on and attempt to make some jokes while my son is acting completely horrible in the background and my sweet husband is trying to make the best of it. Cross goes to daycare all day now on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I have asked God 100 times if it is too much because it appears to be too much. He is like a blood sugar depleted, exhausted mess each day that he returns, but he does in fact know how to count to 10 and he is tracing his name and has a new bff named Max who I finally met on Tuesday. Max cries a lot according to Cross, but Cross cries a lot according to me so who knows. I am going to attempt the feat of potty training tomorrow. I think I would rather plan an event or run a non-profit any day over tackling such an overwhelming task. Pee on my couches and Heaven forbid poop happening anywhere other than a diaper is a lot to take in. I am trying to schedule it around a few days at home which also gives me palpitations because at home often turns into a very bored stir crazy little boy. Let's just pray that the Thomas the Train underwear are so near and dear to his heart that he would never dream of tarnishing them with any unthinkables.

Ok, so where was I? Oh yes, overwhelmed. I am also CERTAIN that my dog is going to lose her life over begging for that stupid ball that goes under the couch every single time it rolls. I am swearing that our next couch either has to be flat on the floor or high enough so she can crawl under and out without making a single peep. Didn't she get the memo that I now have a REAL child that demands a large portion of my responsibility.I find myself day dreaming about hurling her out the door or when Cross is pitching a fit about something in the front seat I promise you one day I am going to calmly roll down the window and chuck it out the door and keep driving as if nothing happened. Is that healthy??

So this is me, knee deep in mommy land, wondering how we can have such a love/hate relationship. Wondering how on earth one child can walk in my house with a horrifically mismatched outfit from a daycare accident and steal my heart and then within 30 seconds start whaling on the floor and cause me to have to take deep breaths and start quoting scripture about anger. I really do love being a mom, but I have said it before and I am certain I will say it again, this job is one that I signed up for with NO CLUE what I was getting myself into. Sometimes when he rams my boob (so sorry if there are any male readers) into my back I am certain I am going to bite my lip clear off trying not to cuss and other times when he runs without any inhabitions I am praising God over and over for giving me that little guy. When Snick picks out the pieces of food that she doesn't prefer and leaves them on my 1X1 kitchen floor it makes me want to take her food away forever, but when she snuggles right up to me on the couch I think what on earth would life be without her. I probably have the same feelings about my husband quite honestly (and he does for me) but he can read so I will refrain from posting them. I have a good set of years until Cross reads and surely he won't look back on July 29, 2010. If you do little buddy just know being a mommy is hard and had Jesus not given me the grace to raise you AFTER submitting to walk with Him God only knows where you and I would be.

So until next time blog world, I am a bit overwhelmed with all of the calls of life. I am a bit overwhelmed with the things that you were certain would make life perfect falling far from the mark. I am a bit overwhelmed with "will I do this potty training thing right" and will I ever get good at reading to Cross consistently, brushing his teeth daily, AND spending enough time with Jesus in order to ensure that it is all done with a smile! You guys have a great weekend and when you go to the potty, your kid goes to the potty, or you change a stinkin' diaper, think of me, pray for me, and smile at the laughs you would be certain to have in the event that you get to beam down as a fly upon my fall!

Off to bed!
K

1 comment:

Kelly said...

OK, yesterday at Chick-fil-A when we saw you, I had just told Brody on the way that I was going to throw the ball out the window if he threw it one more time at me. What do you know, he did it, so as soon as we got to CFA, I opened his door and the dang ball rolled out. YIPPEE! I didn't have to do it, he didn't see it therefore not causing a meltdown, but wouldn't you know that this super sweet grandma came up and said "oh honey, I think your little ball just rolled out of your car." And then she went to get it for him. I have NEVER wanted to smack a grandma in the mouth before or wish that she wouldn't be able to bend over to pick things up, but honestly, I was so mad that she went out of her way to help Brody get that dumb ball back.