Thursday, January 31, 2008

Thank you prayer warriors!!!!!!!!!

Well, it is official, OUR HOUSE IS SOLD! I couldn't wait to write and share the news with so many of you who have faithfully prayed us through this transiition! I would love to sit down and call each of you, but for this season, the blog has had to do! I have to tell you the whole story to make sure God gets every ounce of the glory. Last night (Thur night) I was fighting so many feelings: what now, are you there God, why is this not working at all how we thought it would work?? I was trying to replace these "feelings" (which is really the perfect word for them) with truths: our God is a good God, he called us to this journey so He will work out the details, He ultimatly knows what is best for us, He is for us and not against us. I had just gotten done typing an e-mail to our new pastor's wife (that sounds cool) telling her to please keep looking for any and all rental possibilities because the house could sell in two days or two years. While I was typing, Jeremy called Christian our realitor (just to brag on them, if you ever need realitors who love Jesus and are GOOD at what they do, Christian and Masina Black with Prudential are your answer!) to ask him some questions and I knew those questions were going to involve price reductions, etc. and if I would have thought about all of that too long I would have gotten sick so I just stuck to my e-mailing. Then I hear him say, "you are kidding, it is done, well consider it SOLD." I almost jumped off the couch. Turns out, he was actually finishing up some numbers to call us with details! Ok, so here is where it gets really good. First the price, I won't go into details, but let's just say we are blessed. Two, the closing date, the guy's one specification was that he wanted to close on the 15th of Feb. How cool is that? That is EXACTLY when we were looking to move! So prayer warriors, your prayers have been answered and we can't thank you enough for all of your love and support. So our plan is, pack, pack, pack, then move on the weekend of the 15th into something temporary until we can buy. We are also excited as we feel like God is giving us some direction on that as well. I won't bore you with all of the financial details, but we have been faithfully doing Dave Ramsey for almost 2 years now and we know God is showing us to stick with that plan, that this is not our last house and that it will be more important not to feel like a slave to a house than to get everything on our check list. One day we will have that luxery, but for now, we want to make sure we are living below our means. We will offically be debt free Feb 15th, how cool is that? That is something I have been praying for for years!!!!! We have a good God to say the least, but just for the record because I know many of you and us as well still have several unanswered prayers, had God not chosen to answer this prayer in the way I saw fit, He is good all the same, He DOES work out all of the details, He knows what is ultimatley best and He IS for us not against us! His ways our not our ways (Isaiah 55:8)! Love you all!

Monday, January 28, 2008


Ok, here is a quick Bullock update. I am typing fast so probably lots of errors so bare with me. We have had an awesome weekend here in Elizabeth City. LOVE the church. The people here are awesome. The area is great! BUT we need your prayers. Jeremy started getting sick (AGAIN) last night so we have had to reschedule our flight home. Our plan now is to leave Tuesday, late afternoon. I feel SO sorry for him. I know this is getting old for him because we feel like we have lots to do! Also, house plans and timing of move is another major prayer request. It is for sure a buyers market here, but we can't find anything move in ready for under $200,000 that we like. We know that we are super picky because we are blessed with such a beautiful home in a great area in Clarksville, but I am used to $200,000 going A LONGGGGGGGGGGG way so this is hard. We are for sure planning to go ahead and pack up when we finally get back and move here ASAP and begin renting, but since we came here to house hunt, not rental hunt, that throws a whole nother kink into things. So basically we need Jeremy to get well and stay well, we need a rental for very cheap because we will still have to make our mortgage, we need our house to sell, and finally we need to know God's will for our purchase. There are TONS of houses we can update and they would be great investments, but that is a big fish to fry when you have new baby, new job, etc. Our only real goal is to glorify God, whatever that looks like. I just feel like I am completely clueless to His pleasing, perfect will!!!!!!! LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Prayer Request

Hey guys, here is a little update on our adventure to North Carolina. We are heading there this weekend. Jeremy said we aren't going anywhere this week just in case there are germs out there a radar for our fam. hahhaha We are praying (and ask that you join us) that our house will have a contract on it before we leave town. We have had lots of lookers, but no offers. We are going to house hunt and meet with the mortgage guy while we are there so (in my opinion) life would be so much easier if we had a contract here and could make some "real" decisions while we are there. With that said, God is showing me that His ways are not our ways, but that they are always better so whatever the case, we know that He knows what is truly best! If we have to move there without our house being sold fist, He will provide. He will show us when, where, how, but not necessarily why so I personally have to swallow the pill of pride that my detailed, planning mind may not actually know what the best route would be, especially in the scheme of eternity! Love you guys and thank you so much for your prayers. I will keep you posted, we head out early Friday morning and will be back Monday evening so I will give you an update next week!

Patiently Seeking,

P.S. Please pray that sweet baby Cross' ears don't hurt during the flight! We are going to use passy so hopefully that will make it all ok!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Some things never change....

Hey everyone, this is just a random thought, but I had to show this picture as a confession to you all. I know many of you worried that I was going to have a hard time giving up my go, go life to take on this mom thing, but it seems here that I am handling them both very well! hahhahaha I was so sad Jeremy had caught this moment on camera. I feel like it is confessions of a crazy planner lady. I was worried I wouldn't have anything to write in my planner other than stay home, change diapers, and feed, but NOT THE CASE. I know you can't believe it, but I have managed to keep the days full. My dear friend called me the other day and after faithfully praying for our family, God spoke a word for her to share with me, "be still". Can you believe it, me?????? Needing to be still??????? YUCK! hahhaha Thank you Lord for calling me to have down time, to have rest and peace, to not feel the pressure of the stress I attempt to put on myself, most of all, a call to an abundant life, how blessed are we! Thank you friend for being brave enough to share that word with the most anal retentive human alive!

Being Still,

P.S. How many passies does one child need???

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Me and Friends!

These are my great grandparents, Granny and Pop Pop! (In love is an understatement)

Also, my buddy Jax. I hung out with the boys (Colt and Jax) on Tuesday night!

Mommy playing dress up again!

I'M A BOY!!!!!!

Ok, Ok Pictures it is!

Your requests have been heard, enough talky talky, get back to the baby!!!!!!! These are funny faces and our first smile! Cross was 6 weeks this past Monday and weighs in at exacty 12lbs!!!!!!! Football, here we come!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Carried to the table.............

Ok, I had an amazing thing happen yesterday morning and I can't type fast enough to share this with everyone and anyone willing to read! First, let me give you a little bit of background on what is going on in my life just so you will understand my heart during this experience. Back in the "good ol' days" (yeah right) my college roomies and I loved the Lord, but for some of us His plans and our plans didn't really match up so we stuck with ours'. Just for the record, before we go any further, my sins made theirs look like minor hiccups, but we weren't following the Lord all the same. Well, years passed and my sweet roommate Shawnna (by far the purest of us all) became the mother of 3 beautiful angels and at the same time we both found the one true love of our life, Jesus. She and I reconnected and instantly had a deeper bond because we were now, not just friends, but sisters in Christ. The only difference is where our lives have taken us since those years in college. See my biggest "worry" in life right now includes moving to the beach with my beautiful family and my loving husband and possibly not knowing exactly how things are going to work financially. Whew, rough life for someone who has out sinned the mob. Well, my sweet friend Shawnna has been dealt a different set of cards. This sweet mother has just finalized a divorce with her college sweetheart and father of her precious babies and a week later found out that she has breast cancer. Now that is NOT FAIR. I don't care how you look at things or which angle you take or how you justify life, that is just not fair. After all of my horrible relational choices and the abuse I put my body through for years I should be the one with this set of cards. I should be the one facing a divorce and cancer at the young age of 30, but no, the biggest physical concern I have right now is to fit back into my pre-maternity jeans. Well, since Shawnna told me the heart wrenching news that her biopsy had in fact come back positive my quiet times with the Lord have been short at best and nonexistent as the norm. To be honest, I haven't even known where to start with Him. It just is not fair and I'll say one other thing, it is hard when you are on the "unfair" side of life as the one who is having to live out the pain, but it is humbling to be living out the "unfair" part of life on the side of blessings. I don't deserve one single thing I have in life any more than my friend deserves the trials she is living through every single minute. At the end of the day, I am mad at God because of what is happening in Shawnna's life. It is difficult to sit down and read His Word and trust Him with my life when if I believe He is in control AND He is good then why on earth would He have allowed this to happen? See God can't be the God of the universe and trustworthy and all powerful, but not be able to change this situation. That is where, for most of us, theology and the heart collide. Why would a good God allow this to happen? Why would a God with ultimate authority and power allow children to starve in Africa, but I don't see those children everyday, I am shaken to my core because this is my friend whom I know and love. Funny enough, Shawnna is praising Jesus for the amazing opportunities to minister to co-workers, friends and family about the love of Christ. He is showing her tons of love and support through an abundance of outpouring and blessings from others. That is her focus, but me, I'm still stuck on WHY??? So, yesterday morning I woke up on my own, no crying baby, no alarm clock and I felt the Lord nudging me to come into our office and spend time with Him. Almost like a prince had woken me from my sleep and secretly urged me to come be alone with Him. On this particular day I was actually going to see Shawnna to do whatever I could to love on her and have a "girl's day" before her next round of chemo. So I sat down to have my quiet time because that is what good Christians do and God did an amazing thing in my heart. I was carried to the table. I didn't exactly know how to explain what happened, but then I listened to a song by one of our favorite bands, and it hit me, that was it, God ushered me into His presence, not to explain all of the details of what He was doing through Shawnna's life, but to bring me personally to peace. He didn't give me a theological discussion about His sovereignty nor a guilt trip for the questions I had, He just showered me with love and gave me grace to handle my fits, my questions and my doubt. He showed me that my separation from Him these past few weeks comes from a heart that has needed to cry out "why" but is trying to be "reverent". Does God's greatness require reverence, you bet, but can His greatness handle my "why", absolutely. See I know all of the Sunday school answers, but this one just hit too close to home for those to work. I just needed to lie in His presence and heal, but I had no idea how to get there, this time I couldn't run, I had to be carried! So I have a question for all readers, do you need to be carried to the table? I wish I could tell you just how to make that happen, but God knew that was what I needed, I had no clue. The best guess I have is that if you feel like I felt, if you have unanswered questions, "whys" that you don't understand or a reservation to meet with your Savior because you just don't get this thing called life, just ask to be carried. I honestly think our willingness to say "I can't get there on my own" would make Him incredibly proud! So to make for the longest blog in history I have attached the lyrics to this song. Leeland is the band and I am thinking there is a way to link it so you could listen, but I can't figure it out so please read and by all means BUY THE SONG, it alone will get the process in motion!

You carried me my God, you carried me!

Wounded and forsaken
I was shattered by the fall
Broken and forgotten
Feeling lost and all alone
Summoned by the King
Into the Master’s courts
Lifted by the Savior
And cradled in His arms

I was carried to the table
Seated where I don’t belong
Carried to the table
Swept away by His love
And I don’t see my brokenness anymore
When I’m seated at the table of the Lord
I’m carried to the table
The table of the Lord

Fighting thoughts of fear
And wondering why He called my name
Am I good enough to share this cup
This world has left me lame
Even in my weakness
The Savior called my name
In His Holy presence
I’m healed and unashamed

You carried me, my God
You carried me

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Enough about ME!

My heart is hurting, I am up this morning feeding my son and more and more my heart is broken for a certain group of people that surround my Clarksville life! One of the greatest blessings about living in this town is being surrounded by the military community. You do grow accustomed to it until your sweet nephew comes to town with his eyes wide open as he watches a "real soldier" walk through the mall. You should have seen his face when I told him that soldier may even fly HELICOPTERS!!!! We have the coolest friends. Many of us go to work 9-5, important work don't get me wrong, but then many here go do underground missions and trainings that involve God only knows what and some days (I would venture to say most days) we "the 9-5 people" just take this whole thing called freedom for granted! Just in my small network of friends, I know many wives who have just had to say good bye to their husbands for 15months! 15 months, that is no walk in the park, that is over a year of their lives spent without their soul mate, the one they have been striving so desperately to become one flesh with, to connect with on the deepest level this earth has to offer and BAM, just like that, this love is separated my 1,000s of miles and hundreds of days! It has been such an honor to share life with many of these families in our current small group. My pity party about moving 13 hours away with a newborn and getting to spend every single day WITH my husband didn't go over well there! One guy said something that will ring in my ears forever, he said, "Kelly, Clarksville, TN (no offense) was our 7th choice." Is that comical or what, the town I so desperately don't want to leave was one that he so desperately didn't want to come to! 7th choice, now they have had to have total surrender. See when they sign on to follow the Lord in this call on their life, surrender becomes their middle name. They surrender where they live, how they spend their time, who will love and support their family and what they will be doing day in and day out for however long the Lord has them in this assignment! They have to trust that God works through this often times seemingly random authority and pray that through every move they are able to establish a new church home, a new church family, a great set of neighbors and hopefully a local shopping store to boot! Not just so that their family can have a hunky dory time, but so their spouse and children will have a support system as they go to what I so ignorantly refer to as Iraq (that is what I call the entire Middle Eastern area) to make sure that we are able to live this "normal" life I take for granted each and every day! So enough about me, let me say thank you to you! Thank you for making it to where I can type this e-mail and praise Jesus all the days of my life without worry or concern. Thank you that my son can hear about Jesus' love without reservation from his parents! Thank you that my husband CAN go 13hours away and tell those students in Elizabeth City, NC about their Savior Jesus and thank you for making my cross to bear seem so terribly small! If you or your family are on my end of this, the ones doing all the taking and none of the giving to this cause of freedom, please join me in prayer. I know a Shannon, an Amy, another Amy, an Amanda, and a Danielle (again just in my small immediate group of friends) that are living life right now without their soul mate physically by their side. This list doesn't even touch our friends whose husband go over every few months, coming and going, in and out of thier homes, in and out of their families' lives with no end in sight! There are so many in our church alone that aren't listed who deal with these realities every day. So what should we pray for in 2008? I think this would be a good place to start! Pray these woman make it! Pray they not only make it, but that God wraps His arms around them and rocks their world this year! Pray that He literally overwhelms them with His love and pray that they have the strength and grace to receive it! Pray that this is their LAST separation. Many of these woman have been dealing with this for years and I would venture to say that it is getting OLD! Pray protection for their husbands and pray that we as their support system do everything in our power to walk along side of them during this season! Finally, pray for their men! Pray that they will have an encounter with God in His land that will rock their faith to a whole new level! Pray that they will come back more sold out, as stronger spiritual leaders, as men of God who no devil in hell will be able to tempt or waiver!!!!!! As far as the big picture, who knows what to pray, praying for peace seems like such a cliche'. What is God's will in all of this, what prophecies are being fulfilled as I sit in my cushy life writing e-mails? Anyone with insight on this, PLEASE comment! I don't even know where to start! Thanks again military families for your gracious gift called my freedom! We love you and are thankful for your surrender!
Because of Him,

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Jesus Take the Wheel, Oh No Wait, Give it Back!

I'm a big kid now!

Chill time on our boppy!

Mommy making me play dress up, I'M A BOY!!!!!!!!

First of all, can you believe this sweet baby boy is already a month old? I feel like he is the most handsome thing I have ever laid my eyes on and Jeremy and I both agree we fall more and more in love with him each day! I promise this is a gift I am NOT taking for granted! Thanks to all who have enthusiastically welcomed him into this world! Ok, so Jesus take the wheel, what is that all about?? Can I ask you how many times is Jesus going to have to teach me this lesson in particular? You would think that someone that was willing to jump in feet first and move 13 hours away would have a life fully surrendered to God, but I give Him the wheel and then I work out the details. He can give me the big picture and then I'll jump in and handle the details! Let me share with you what is going on. Tuesday night after an awesome New Year's with our dear friends who are about to depart as the husband goes over seas to protect our freedom (the freedom that will allow Jeremy to do what he is called to do) and his sweet wife that is going to do one of the bravest things I have ever seen a woman do and that is to face the next 15 months without the person who she has become one flesh with over the last few years. So, great New Year's to say the least, they walk out the door, Jeremy says he isn't feeling so hot and 10 minutes later he is as sick as I have ever seen one human be! I wish I could tell you that I was focused on my husband first and foremost, but to be honest, after I had him settled with a trash can by his head, the first thought that ran through my mind was OUR TRIP! What if we don't get to go on our trip, and at that moment I pitched the biggest fit in my heart towards God. I was like a toddler who is on the floor wailing out of control, just with dignity, my fit was in my heart (which is so much better :) Then it hit me that Jeremy would loose two MORE days of pay and I had just found out that we had gone over on our cell minutes with our new arrival's announcements. How can you go from mountain moving faith to fit pitching and number crunching in two point two seconds? Maybe God didn't know that we have an appointment with the banker on Friday, the real estate agent on Saturday and the Health Insurance man on Monday. Maybe He didn't get the memo that I am ready to get this show on the road and that it has been hard enough for me to wait this week, much less longer. Maybe He didn't know that the second He gave us the go, I have planned out all the details and a stomach virus was NOT on the agenda! I felt God speaking to me, reminding me (with tons of love) that I needed to remember that He was still in control of this ship. That if HE didn't feel it necessary for us to go THIS weekend, then He was right! He moved my heart to more surrender, with my plans, and with our finances! I honestly didn't think I could surrender any more, but He was showing me I had given Him control of the big picture, but jerked it back for the details. God's Word says in Romans 12:2 that we can know His pleasing and perfect will. I often think that we fail to experience the fullness of God much of the time because we make Him small and impersonal by only allowing Him to be over the big stuff in life and with the Word saying perfect will, that means detail to me! So why wouldn't I have total surrender, not only to the big picture call on Jeremy and I's life, but also to EACH and every detail of the journey! So I have surrendered, this weekend, next weekend, next month. You are in control, You are loving and want the best for us and You are thankful for my assistance, but You can handle it on Your own! I am reading the most amazing book ever that I would love any of you to join me in reading called Dangerous Surrender by Kay Warren (Rick Warren's wife) and let me show you what I read today, "To want to serve God in some conditions, but not others, is to serve Him in your own way." OUCH!!!!! So today after my poor husband could barely hold down a few pieces of toast and crawl into the shower we have (well I have) surrendered that it is not God's pleasing and perfect will for us to travel to North Carolina THIS weekend. Please be praying that Jeremy will recover and that we didn't dare spread this horrible disaster of a sickness to our friend who is heading overseas this coming week. Please pray God's PLEASING AND PERFECT will for every detail of this journey, especially the ones I am trying to take control of and plan. We'll keep you posted, but as of now stay away from the Bullock home, we are one big package of germs, but we are surrendered, AGAIN!