Thursday, February 26, 2009


For any of you who have seen the movie Ray it is a traumatic experience from beginning to end. Jeremy and I watched it together a few years ago and it appeared tonight on one of our few channels and I have had to escape the room to avoid going on an emotional rollar coaster that is certain to rip my heart to shreds, especially now as I am looking through the lens of a mommy. This movie motivates me to do everything in my power to tell people about Jesus. It is a gut wrenching reality of what real life is really like. We really do experience death at too young of an age. We are hit with infirmities that are no where near the realms of fair and finally we are tempted by the lowest of the low, satan, to cover those wounds with the unfulfilling lies of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. I hate watching this movie because I can almost see the lurking evil of satan as he wraps himself around Ray Charles' life just like he was portrayed in the Passion of Christ. What God meant for good in gifting Ray Charles, satan used for harm to destroy him and hundreds of others along the way. It seems to me to be a message of hopelessness by all accounts!

Thank goodness though we are not bound by that reality of hopelessness. We all have a Savior that came to die so that we wouldn't have to live with the cards we were dealt. He came to heal all of our wounds and childhood inequities to ensure that the visions don't haunt us for the rest of our lives. He came so that we wouldn't turn to the empty chains that the drugs, alochol, sex, food, shopping or whatever DON'T have to offer. That movie rips this soul apart because it was at least mostly true in Ray Charles' life but it is certainly true in the life of so many that I know. I have been out of that life long enough that I am seeing people I knew back then reaping the harsh realities of our foolish ways. I know of children who don't have a mommy or a daddy because of the lures of satan. I know marriages that have ended because of demons that were buried so deep that even the partners themselves where unaware they existed. I have seen drugs rule every decision a person makes and watched the innocent children be forced at the tinyest of ages pick up the pieces.

Lord I pray that Ray Charles' life is embedded into my consciousness regardless of how traumatizing it can be. I pray that when I want to be lazy, when I don't want to step out in faith and when I buy into the lie that nothing we are doing is making a difference that I will remember Ray. I pray that You use me to help every Ray Charles that comes into my path have a life free from the bondage satan tricked them into in the first place. I pray that I fight demons in the spiritual realm and demand that they steer clear of the family I have been entrusted to protect. I pray for Ray's soul, I pray it is in Heaven free from the blindness that literally killed him! And finally Lord I thank you that as I watch that movie, the emotions of hopelessness I feel are nothing short of a Jesus like miracle to fix! You are it Lord, you were what Ray Charles needed, you were what this lonely soul got and you are what every single reader reading hopefully can obtain! You ARE life and this broken heart is so thankful that at the young age of 23 that I received your saving grace and have been blessed to avoid the years satan had planned out for me! My movie could have been just the same, but by God's grace it is NOT!


Learning to walk.................

I wanted to share something the Lord showed me recently through my little guy, Cross. I am by no means a natural at knowing the needs for childhood development. I know how to wash hands, clothes, and now bottoms very well. I can get him to sleep at night and attempt to avoid fits, but I have not the foggiest of how to help his little brain grow. SO, as you can guess, yes I have read a book! I know for this thing called child rearing it is going to take many more books, but I have been so very thankful for the help this one has offered this getting a clue mom to be! It is in the series called "Baby Wise" and this book is called "Toddler Wise". It goes over how important it is for toddlers to touch, feel, and experience life. It has opened my eyes to all the learning that goes on in one day, even one hour, and all the while it has made me marvel at God's creation. Little Cross' brain is learning a mile a minute and it is up to this mommy to try to facilitate that growth as much as possible.

So last week, Cross and I went on a very toddler appropriate adventure right here in our own back yard. We have not been a toddler on many warm days so we are still learning how to simply walk in grass. The hardwood and the carpet of the home offers such a smooth surface that he is sailing along in there just fine, but we needed to learn how to walk on more of a rocky terrain. I sat with a book while Cross walked all around our backyard. I didn't mind if the jeans got dirty and I knew we were taking a chance on having some minor bumps and bruises along the way, but this mom had to send her son off to learn. I was so proud as he struggled along. I cheered as he got up for the 400th time and started again. I pulled him away when he got over in an area where some kind of a nut from a tree had fallen and it was simply too hard for him to stand.

I was amazed at all the steps this little guy has ahead as he learns to walk. I thought to myself, first he had to learn to walk on a level surface, now on grass, soon he will have to learn to walk on sand and then the Lord spoke to me and said "and one day he will have to learn to walk on water". I knew instantly what the Lord was saying to this proud momma. I knew He was saying that this lesson I was watching right in front of my eyes was an exact correlation to our walk in the spiritual realm. At first the Lord just steadies us on our feet with the safety of a flat surface then, WHEN WE ARE READY, He sends us out to the unevenness of the back yard, then on to sand as we grow and then finally to the ultimate journey, a walk of faith, a walking on water.

Over these past few years the Lord has slowly but surely allowed us to walk on a flat surface with a brand new faith in our Savior. Then He steadied our feet on the grass and allowed us to stumble our way forward as we began our journey of grace. Then the sand, the slippery unevenness of the sand and now the water! I know our "walk" may often look so random. It certainly does to us! Please bare with us as these are some of our first adventures walking on water. We have tried our very best to keep our eyes focused solely on Jesus along the way, but just as Cross has had spill after spill on the uneven grass, I am certain our journey has not been without some as well. We wish there was an instantaneous way to achieve these newly needed skills, but they can only be obtained by the vigorous journey of being sent out by our Father to learn! I am so thankful that He, like this proud momma, is cheering us on! I am thankful that He doesn't get frustrated like a heavy task master, but that He is just thrilled that we get up and try again! I feel like at this point it is a daily or often hourly decision to focus on the Savior and not the storm.

I am writing to ask you guys to please continue to pray us through. I want desperately to pray for all of you as well, one by one. I would love for every single reader to write a comment and tell me how I can pray for you specifically. I am asking you wholeheartedly to please keep praying for us as the storm often seems much louder than the Savior's voice. I want to take this Jesus thing all the way. I don't want to give up, to give in, or certainly not to drown! I love you all!


Monday, February 23, 2009

A Woman’s Brain…………….

I have noticed something HElarious in my shower recently and for some reason I just had to share it with you guys. Every time I go to wash my hair these days I can’t stop laughing at the reality staring me in the face, WOMEN ARE WEIRD! I should certainly be able to say that, I am one for starters. I think it is fine to make fun of your own species without it being politically incorrect. Ok, so within the last month, probably even the last few weeks, on two separate occasions I bought Conditioner (the first time) and then Shampoo (during a separate trip). So you are thinking, big deal, well………let me just read to you what the labels of the bottles say and you will catch my “why are we so darn crazy” drift.

Conditioner: Herbal Essences “Dangerously Straight” (oooooohhhhhh how scary, hahha) Pin Straight Conditioner

Shampoo: Sunsilk Daring Volume, Turn blah into body and bounce with collagen-c, anit-flat shampoo

Are you laughing now as well or is it just me? I didn’t think about how silly it sounded until I saw them side by side in the shower, staring at me in the eye, almost laughing with me in their opposite potion bottles. Why should I expect my husband to get me, I don’t even get myself. Why one week do I want ooooooohhhhhh DANGEROUSLY straight hair and then the next I want daring body and bounce. Who knows??

Well, this isn’t the deepest blog I have ever written, but it sure makes me laugh every day when I give my hair the shock of its life. It probably wonders, "what on earth am I supposed to do, straight or fluffy, full or flat"? I don’t know hair, just look cute for goodness sake, figure it out yourself.

I guess the moral is, I am looking for something in those stupid bottles that I am not going to get. Sometimes we see how ridiculous our subconscious can be when it stares us in our face and the full consciousness has to live with the reality. I don’t want to live like this, but sometimes I don’t know how to escape it. I don’t want to look for my identity in my hair, outfits and really cute toenail polish that it is now too darn cold to even show off. I really WANT to find my identity in Christ yet not scare everyone off along the way. I want to be able to enjoy a new bottle of Conditioner, not find myself one week later looking for the opposite fix. Oh well, I have no answers in this blog, only questions, but I am just GUESSING it is a daily struggle for all of us with this some days cursed, some days blessed title called Women???

Man, I feel like a Woman!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Family Fun

Hey guys, this past week I got some awesome fam time with the Wilkinson Crew! Just wanted to share some sweet photos of Cross with his Papa and his Nana (my mom and dad)! I am sure they have been bragging from the moment we left town. I am so thankful that the Lord has allowed us this time back home so that Cross can know his grandparents! They love him so very much! Also, please be in prayer for my dad as he has another major surgery right around the corner! Pray that those darn cigarettes make him sick as a dog if he tries to smoke again after this! :) Seriously, I love all of my family to death and just want them around to see this little guy grow into a handsome young man! Thanks and you guys have a great week. I hope it started with some GOOD JESUS TIME today!


Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I want a Revolution BUTT……………..

I chose the word “b-u-t-t” instead of but, not because I am the worst speller on earth, although that is totally true, but because that is always what the BUT in a situation looks like, a big B-U-T-T. For me the story goes: I personally want to see, heck I will even be the first to admit, I want to be a part of a revolution for CHRIST! I have never been one to miss a party so I can say with honesty, I don’t even want to witness a revolution, I want to be on the front lines, front and center, watching the entire thing unfold and being used by Jesus to change this world. I can literally almost feel my lungs screaming out inside of me when I go places, ALL OF YOU JUST NEED JESUS! Not, in that real condemning, unattractive, “all of YOU need Jesus” kind of way, in that “this world is hard and empty and Jesus makes it somehow worth living”, all of you way. I feel that scream coming from within when I go into a mall (I hear a scream for cookies and clothes as well but that is the unsanctified lung) and hear teenagers saying things that have to make them feel like crap when they go to bed at night. I feel it when I hear the news and read about grown people hurting little children. I really do desire to see Planned Parenthood out of business, I desire to see liberals and conservatives become one for the call of Christ. I believe our government CAN change. I believe with the move of the Holy Spirit that millions really can be saved all in one day. A part of me has some kind of awesome Holy Ghost passion that cries out more, more, more!

BUTT, then there is that darn butt. How I recently discovered the butt, I was lying in bed one night and I couldn’t sleep. Anytime you can’t sleep, pray. I am telling ya, I think that can be one of the most missed appointments by God we will ever fail to RSVP. I mean, just quiet frankly, what else better do you have to do. Sometimes I think that is the only time God can get us still yet we refuse to talk to Him and instead beg He allows us to sleep (how annoying we must be at times). Ok, so I was awake and I put my arms around J to stay warm and I started praying. It was one of those big prayers………..I started praying “Lord use this man right here to change the world, help him to be like Paul and turn this entire nation, heck, this entire world upside down for Jesus.” I was praying that he would be so filled with the Holy Spirit that he would live out every ounce of his God given calling and see millions come to Christ through his life on earth, and then it happened, the still small voice of God spoke….“Kelly, do you REALLY want all of this” and I saw a full view of my BUTT. See, I pray these bold prayers, but God, knowing all and such, has heard my other cries. Lord, give us money, a home, security, a job, a routine, a blah, blah, blah and He seems to be picking up on a rather unattractive BUTT. Please let us change the world, butt don’t ever make us leave Clarksville again. Please use us to do mighty things in the name of Jesus, butt don’t let ANYTHING in life be uncomfortable. Please let us see miracles while we are on planet earth, butt don’t dare take us out of our comfort zone. Heck, I go into complete orbit if our checkbook gets low. You see, I have all the prayers but the faith to believe He actually could be answering the ones that matter is less than there. What if He is TRYING to use us to change the world, what if He wants everything I want, I mean, what if He actually put it the want in me, why can’t this gal trust Him in the how? Why can’t I get that if I want to pray these prayers that my BUTT in dying to self has to be removed? I can’t have “seeing crazy things for Christ” and “never dying to self” all in one neat package so I must figure out which I am willing to toss.

I just thought I would ask you guys to pray for my BUTT. I pray that it shrinks and one day really is nonexistent. (Please forgive the play on words if they seem unholy, I just think God gives us the grace to laugh as we beat our flesh half to death.) I pray that I will become the real deal, the person that prays those bold prayers for her man in bed at night and then awakes with the full anticipation that He will answer! I pray that as I read about Paul, that I will begin to look more like him, caring so much less about me and so much more about a lost world dying, starving, hurting, and most importantly, going to hell. I pray that reality will override every earthly comfort this gal longs for. I pray that I WILL see mighty amazing miracles while on this earth and that I won’t miss them while looking back longing for a house, two cars, and 2.5 children and a little Doodle Princess coming home. I am nowhere near where I need to be in this area and I will need a great measure of God’s enormous grace to get me there, but I at least think admitting the fallacies in my prayer life is a good start.

What about your BUTT? Nothing personal or anything, I am just wondering if it too needs to be shrunk? Do you pray that your husband grows in Christ, BUTT you aren’t willing to die to flesh to see it happen? Do you pray that your children fall madly in love with the Savior, butt have you done so yourself? Believe me, I know that trying to lose these pounds are absolutely the most difficult thing on earth. Our flesh is the strongest of all warriors. Even as I am typing, I am thinking “this sounds sweet and all BUTT please Jesus, don’t really make me die to this degree”. The problem is I really do want to see a revolution for Christ and this “would rather be a Chief than an Indian” gal can certainly admit I want to be a ring leader! I want my man and I to take satan for all he has done to us and make him one unhappy camper to say the least. I would like for him to wish he had never invented abortions, addictions or divorce. I would like to see our Nation rise up and be the country it was birthed to be. I want an economic stimulus package that will do way more than stabilize the economy. So if this is my true want, I MUST die to self and behold what the Lord is doing, for HE IS GOOD INDEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Counting Lost Sheep, one by one and dieting to loose the BUTT:

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Change or Adventure, it is all in the wording…………

Ok, you guys may just may have to bare with me as I attempt to get my thoughts down on cyber-paper. After I totally freaked out about changing the blog, I started asking myself, “am I, or am I not good with change”? I mean, I just moved 2 times in one year, I love the thrill of hopping on an airplane and going somewhere, I can only stay in the house for about 2 days before I go crazy and after an awesome day of shopping with my friend not even giving a moments regard to the “schedule” I felt totally rejuvenated. Personally, this sounds like someone who DOES like change. Another thing that opened my eyes to this split personality was having an awesome friend back in N.C. who was a new mommy and took straight to Baby Wise to give her some confidence and peace of mind about parenting and she was a total pro with her schedule. Through her, I realized, I am not nearly as scheduled as I thought I was. I feel like I am kind of a combination, in the old days it would have been a cocktail.

So…....who cares you might say? Well, I am just intrigued by the entire concept of personalities. After becoming a follower of Christ in 2003, I sat under (and still do) an amazing pastor who thankfully encourages that you discover your personality type and your gift-set in order to help you understand who you are in the body of Christ. It was one of the most freeing experiences I have ever had. I always felt like such an odd duck: organized, even in high school, when that trait was beyond less than cool. I never thought I had any talents and through learning about my personality, I was encouraged that God had NOT forgotten me when He was dishing out gifts, mine just hadn’t made the high school “cool list”, but hopefully they would make the expanding the Kingdom’s list for sure.

Ok, back to the title, change or adventure, ding, ding, that is what I am discovering. This gal does NOT like change, UNTIL it is turned into an adventure. At that moment I am totally on board. I didn’t want to change the blog, UNTIL I mentally turned it into an adventure, changing toenail polishes, as crazy as that may sound, anxiety full, UNTIL I turned it into a “why the heck not” adventure. Moving across the country, melt down city, until I turned my focus away from change and towards the horizon of nothing short of an amazing adventure.

I think the key here is that NOTHING changed about these situations other than my attitude as well as just knowing who you are and how you tick. I think society somehow strips the awesomeness of God’s creation from our awareness. Maybe it is how we donate thousands to Planned Parenthood as a “joke” against Sarah Palin without a moments regard of the gifts and talents, all God ordained, that will be sucked through a vacuum. I know that is a harsh analogy, but unfortunately in the United States, it is real. We devalue human life as a whole, thus distorting our own view of who we are as a child of God.

I hope my ramblings will cause you to think about yourself. Who did God make when He made you? What parts are totally Spirit inspired and how can you mold those parts for the Kingdom’s glory. He made you, with your quirks, with a purpose, but you have to be willing to do some soul searching to make sure you are hitting on all cylinders. Now that I am discovering this part of my personality, I will know when the anxiety comes and God is calling for an ever so scary change, this gal has GOT to look at it as an Inspired Adventure and just roll with the punches! Be a continual learner, especially about you! I don’t dare want us to think too highly of ourselves, but let’s fight satan’s ploy of thinking too little as well!

You ARE beautifully and wonderfully made,

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Give me my baby back............

Hey everyone, hope you like the new look! Jeremy has been saying that we need a new picture on the blog and that totally scares this no change chick. I actually learned how to decorate a blog when I recently created one for a fun group of girls I go to Gatlinburg with each year. I promise you will be hearing lots about that group soon. But in the mean time I thought to myself, why not, why not get out of my routine and just redo the blog. You have no idea how hard that step was for me! Thank gooooooodness my man is not so darn scared of change! Well, we don't have any new family photoes so we looked through our computer and I had totally forgotten about this precious picture of our sweet baby Cross. It is my most favorite! He is only three months old and I told J that until we get some more made that I would like to stare at my baby for a bit! How cute this little guy is here. How snuggly he used to be with his mommy! He will still give love, but it is fewer and much further in between! You guys enjoy the new do and watch out, this gal just got a new toenail polish color as well! First time in about 6 years............... hahahhahha Watch out world, change is in the air!

I couldn't of said it better myself........

Good morning sweet friends. I read Beth Moore's Blog this a.m. and just had to share it with you guys! Whether your Valentine is the man of your dreams or honestly your worst nightmare, or whether he is totally nonexistent, this blog is for you! I love you guys to death!!!!!!!!
"Oh That Bewitching Day"

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


This started happening the other day and I almost laughed myself in the floor thinking about sharing it with you guys in blog form. If you are a guy reader, Lord bless you, but this may be one you should skip! It is as girly as they come. For all of us in the south we have just experienced one of my most favorite blessings (my mother-in-law who is a snow lovin school teacher doesn’t at all agree) summer in winter! We have had up to 70 degree weather and I couldn’t be more thrilled, UNTIL the reality hit, I need to do some summerizing. I wish I didn’t have to admit this but authentic is always my goal so here goes. I also wish I could pretend that my body, under layers of sweat pants and shirts, is just glowing, waiting to be unleashed into full view, but let me assure you it is NOT!

To explain: on Sunday I asked Jeremy what the weather was like and he said WARM. So I said what any girl would say, warm as in short sleeve or long sleeve kind of warm. He said short sleeve and I immediately thought, oh crap, pull out the sunless tanner! Now I am sure there are many less vain readers out there, but for all of the normal people, go on and admit it, you thought the same thing. I personally need a tan, to loose 10 pounds and to gain a LOT of muscle before shorts and short sleeves (not counting the OHHHHHHHHH so fabulous flip flops) come into play. Jeremy tried to reassure me as we drove to church (as I powdered my neck in an attempt to mask the shine) that girls who look super tan in February don’t look natural or good. I honestly looked over at him and told him I thought they looked pretty and skinny! We had actually just seen one the night before. Sure she was 18 and sure her momma probably paid for her adorably cute outfit, make up, and tanning bed visits, but I was still not buying into his comfort.

So for this gal, in an attempt to keep my body as a temple, yet not one I personally am worshipping, I am trying to do my best to summerize. No, not summarize as my spell check keeps insisting, summerize. Similar to winterizing a car or a boat, I am trying to summerize the body that has been very thankful for the big, bulky sweaters. I have been trying to get back into a workout routine after months of not being able to make that happen. It has taken a lot of work, but I am determined I can do 3 days a week, especially since we are having summer weather. Secondly, instead of the dangerous tanning bed, I am lathering on the sunless tanner so the next time I have to do short sleeves in public no one will die from the glare. Our family full of redheads just can’t understand my obsession, but this former tanning bed queen still needs to at least knock off the shine to feel confident in her shoes. Finally, the much needed pedicure! For years I have been doing them on my own, but this year (praise the Lord) I have a gift certificate thanks to a dear friend to a spa and I fully intend for them to help with my summerization!

I love the warm breeze of summer. I love how the sun just makes you feel alive regardless of your circumstances. Everyone just seems to be in a good mood with the windows down on those first sunny days. I love how God can change our entire mood as He changes the season. So do you need to do a little summerization, inside and out? Do you need to pamper yourself (again the key is certainly not to worship yourself) and soak those toes in the tub in order to get them up to par. How about your heart, do you need to swing open the windows and do some much needed airing out? Sometimes the chill of winter causes us to loose hope, but I am praying that the person of Jesus causes you to be excited to live again! Go ahead and shed those pounds, get ready for sun dresses and flip flops only please! It has been a hard, cold winter and this soul is ready for a change!


Monday, February 9, 2009

All you really want............

Hey everyone, now that I have the internet at home I am able to look at blogs more often than once a week and I find myself getting SO excited when you guys post pictures! I don't care what your kids are even doing, I just like seeing them in action! So I started thinking, you guys may just want the same! I have a blog swirling in my head, but I thought I would butter you up with some pictures for now! Thanks for hanging in there with me when the photos were few! Oh, and please, please e-mail me your blog if you have one. I have lost some addresses along the way so please send me yours so I can oooooohhhh and ahhhhh! 2 disclaimers, these are just random pictures, but I wanted you to help me figure out who you think Cross looks like, me or J...........NOT!!! If I had a penny for every time someone has said "he looks just like his daddy" Cross' college would be paid for already. So, I know, I know, I don't see me in there either, but thank goodness I married such a darn good looking man. Secondly, I just thought I would share this for anyone who doesn't get to see us in person, Cross' hair is REALLY blond. The photos pick up the red, but every time someone sees him that has just seen the blog photos they always comment on his hair. I think we will have a strawberry blond which I LOVE. Jeremy's sister has the most beautiful hair on earth so I think he is going to take after his Aunt Nina! Ok, love you all!

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Awesome God Week...................

Hello everyone! I am back thanks to this handy dandy invention called AT HOME internet! As you can tell I am still just so proud! I have done fairly well my first week at not being on 24/7. I found that I certainly have plenty to do without it so I still just check it when Cross goes down for a nap (pray always that I keep my priorites in check). I did want to write you real quick with an awesome praise for an amazing week with the Lord. You know, the funniest thing happened this week, I GOT MY MIND OFF OF ME!!!!!!!!!! I know, it is amazing, revolutionary, and repeated over and over in the Bible, but low and behold it works! This week I made a conscious effort to encourage friends, encourage my husband, reach out to those who are hurting, meet with spiritual mentors, and can you believe it, I actually enjoyed my life. A far cry from the whining on the couch about poor me, poor us, poor blah, blah, blah.

I was driving home today and I actually praised God for the trials we are experiencing because I can honestly say I am looking more like Christ through them. Now, please don't dare hear me say that I look anywhere near- just like Christ, I want to emphasize the word "more", but it is true. I can feel a heart change happening in me that sometimes only a good healthy dose of extreme circumstances can produce. The things of this world really are growing strangely dim. J asked me this week if I liked so-in-so's house and I thought to myself, don't know, it never crossed my mind. It hadn't crossed my mind to want their house, to think their house would make me happy or to honestly even give a rip! That is sanctification at its best. For a women who for so long has desperately wanted to nest until my heart was content, now those things called houses just seem like an awful lot of work! Praise the Lord!!!!

So, this week, hopefully I'll try it again. Hopefully I'll wake up and ask myself, "who can I help today" instead of "who can help me". Hopefully I'll notice opportunities and schedule things instead of having a full on spa retreat at my local pity party. I can't change the world or my circumstances, but I can encourage a friend and make a meal for someone for goodness sake. Sure I may not have the money to dig as many wells in Africa as I would like, but I can certainly have coffee with a hurting friend. Ok, how bout you??? I certainly don't want to leave anyone out of my fun (that would be just plain rude and a far cry from good ol southern hospitality). Do you need to get "you" off of your mind and start taking a good look around? Every time I minister to someone, miraculously I don't seem to have it all that bad after all. Sure there are some pieces missing to our puzzle called life, but I am thankful some other ones are in place. Do you need to start being a Christian in deed rather than word?? Well, me too, so let's both get to work! People need Jesus sister and you are JUST the person to bring Him to them!

Because of HIM,

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I am innnnnn, or should i say onnnnnnnn.......

Yes, this is Kelly Bullock reporting live from her very own living room for the first time in a year, yes you heard it, A YEAR, since I have had at home internet. I have worn out every coffee shop and road to my in-laws in the pursuit of my friends, but now as my family sleeps soundly I am officially plugged into my crack (as my sweet hubby puts it). I am promising to limit myself so that my child won't grow up thinking the laptop is actually my lap all together! I would like to thank the sweet anonymous person who put a credit to our Charter account to fund this awesome blessing. It feels so good yet so scary all at the same time. One of my dearest friends recently challenged me to find out what distractions I have that keep me from experiencing the presence of Jesus and I am praying dearly that this does not become one on my list. How many of us haven't gotten on our faces and praised Jesus lately, but have spent hours on this darn internet? If that is you sweet friend, sign off and fall down. We can chat later, He on the other hand, is a Jealous God so don't make Him tarry! For any of you who have been graced the ok to keep reading, I thought I'd do a little family update, but I can assure you it may be a long one so warm up that coffee and let's catch back up! We have had some lost time over this past year and I may just make the entire thing up in one post!

1. Cross- is by far the cutest thing on this planet, no offense to your children, just reality! hahhahahha just joking.......... He has ONE tooth finally and is talking up an absolute storm. Too bad he doesn't have any words yet, but I have been assured those will come. It is so cute when he talks to you, literally for like 5 minutes. He points his finger and says nnnananannanannanannan dadddddaaaadaann, mmmammamammama and then repeats in order. He even moves his head and looks around the room as if he is explaining something. I know those appear to be real words, but I can assure you they show no sign of correlation yet! I personally am more in love with that little guy than I may have been his entire life! I was so scared of loosing my baby, but who knew one year olds were this darn fun??

2. J- Well, my sweet hubby is followin Jesus! I have also never loved this guy more in my entire life! This has been a very tough season of a million unknowns, but he is persevering like nobodies business and I couldn't be more proud! All he knows right now is that he is where he is suppose to be for the Kingdom, we are all just waiting for our emotions to catch up! The reality of doing this Jesus thing all the way is setting in hard for us all, but I know one day it will seem like light and momentary trouble! If you are reading my sweet husband, please know that I never doubt God's mighty calling on your life, never have, never will!!!!!!!!!

3. Me- I feel more sane than I have felt in months. WOW hormones can drive you crazy. My last few months in NC during my first few months of pregnancy almost did me in. Ladies if you feel crazy and are pregnant, have been pregnant or may become pregnant give yourself a break, YOU ARE NOT CRAZY! I also felt insanely crazy for lots of reasons after the miscarriage, but can honestly say that hormones had a lot to do with that as well. I am not saying by any means that the grief wasn't the ring leader, just saying that I genuinely feel leveled out which is a huge praise. I am a suck it up kind of gal, but after months and months of trying, I know that it is by God's grace that I am at all here to tell about it!. I have started helping a precious friend organize her house which gives me a day away with a sitter doing my favorite thing in life with one of my favorite people in life! I have a "to do" list again and feel alive, really alive! I have even started making homemade bread. Shock, shock I know. I really feel like we are in an awesome groove here is Clarksvegas! We are in a routine and I am loving mommy land instead of wishing it all would go away! THANK YOU LORD, LITERALLY!

4. Snick- No way would I leave out our sweet 4 legged family member. Snick is now on an adventure with my sweet friend Shawnna, yes Shawnna with 3 kids and a dog of her own (who just for the record DID, yes DID but doesn't anymore, have breast cancer, sorry, I just LOVE saying that) has relentlessly insisted to take Snick for a while. She is one servant let me tell you! Snick loves it there because there are 4 people at all times that may just be willing to play ball with her and for those of you who have been around her for even up to 5 minutes you know that is all in life that gal cares about is that stupid (oh I mean o so much fun) ball. I actually see a theme now as I am thinking about it, Cross was walking around with 2 in his hands the other night. Ok, I need a REAL girl in this house to counteract all the ball I am about to experience! Snick really is great and I am so thankful for friends and family who are helping us until we can get our sweet sissy doodle princess back home! My precious sister-in-law just had her for a few months and you really are selfless to keep someone else's slightly OCD furry companion! I really can't thank them enough!

Well, that wasn't too bad I wouldn't say! We still have no idea where the Lord is going to take us, but for now we are home and we are going to love on the people He has placed in our path and even if our feeling haven't caught up, we'll just fake it until we can make it!

Signing out and hitting the sack!

PS, please ignore all errors, my eyes are crossing as I type, but I am hitting post! Proof reading is for sissies! hahhahahah

Sunday, February 1, 2009

A Warning Against Falling Away...............

Recently Cross did one of the cutest things ever and it made me think of an analogy with us following Jesus so I just had to share it with you guys. I was carrying Cross on my hip, something that doesn’t happen all that often because he is very heavy and I am 5’2” so this was a melt down approaching treat. I was fixing him a sippy cup of milk which seems to make things all better and fills the belly before a good nap. Well, I took the lid off of the cup and he reached for it and I gave it to him, something I could actually say yes to was nice for a change. He was so thrilled and immediately put it to his mouth and began sucking like crazy trying to get some of the milk. I laughed and said, hold on sweetie, the cup isn’t connected to the milk. What a spiritual truth that statement holds, how many times are our cups not even connected with the milk, yet we are sucking them dry trying to get what we need for life.

Hebrews 5:11-14 says:

Warning Against Falling Away
“We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you out to be teachers; you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk being still an infant is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature who by CONSTANT USE have trained themselves to distinguish good and evil.”

Wow, kind of a strong scripture, but for me personally, sometimes half the battle is just connecting myself to the milk of God’s Word. I am sucking on the lid, wanting this whole Jesus thing to work, wanting patience, peace, kindness, and victory, yet I am not even connected to the milk of the Word to get it. Are you connected today? Are you going through the motions of a quite time or are you by CONSTANT USE training yourself to distinguish good and evil thus warring against falling away? If not, let’s make the only New Year’s Resolution that makes a hill of beans, let’s get into the Word so that after 2009 we will be ready for solid foods! Let’s don’t be like poor little Cross and be sucking the life out of a lid that has nothing to offer. Let’s connect that need with the milk of the Word so that everything will be as okay as this world can offer and maybe our bellies will even be full enough for a good nap.

Just thought the little guy offers some good life lessons! Love you all lots and commit with me, let’s connect with the milk so we can move to the meat!