Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year, Praise the Lord!!!!!!!

Good Morning again blog world! I am writing Happy New Year a day early because I am certain tomorrow with the hubs home and the ever so exciting (I mean this literally for my personality) home organizing overhaul under way I won't stand a chance at saying hello. I think how blessed we are that after Christmas we have to reorganize the entire house just to make sure everything fits and finds a place. I am typing at the speed of light too this chilly a.m. because any second a certain little boy may awake and the games will begin! My Happy New Year title includes a very loud PRAISE THE LORD as well because although I know that 2009 has taken off tons of yuck and given way to lots of growth, I am not looking back to see it go! I couldn't be more excited to start a fresh New Year. The Lord has spoken to me over and over in my Spirit telling me that 2010 has some much needed favor upon it! I have written before about the Lord giving us a "word" for the year and that thought crossed my mind the other day and instantly the Lord gave me "renewal" and oh how that was music to my ears and a cool rag for my soul! I can't wait to see what all He has in store.

We must never forget that although He takes away, more often He gives. So be on the edge of your seat sweet friend for what all this year will intell! Well, I didn't get a lot in, but the little guy is up and the day must begin! I am praying for you guys out there! I am praying that you will hold on to HOPE and allow the Lord to rock your world this 2010 year! The absolute worst thing that could have happened to me this past year was not loosing a baby or us not having a stable job or any of the other life let downs, no the worst thing that could have happened would have been if we had walked away from our Savior, from our HOPE! And by God's great and amazing grace we DID NOT! So 2010 here we come! With bells and whistles galore!

The Bullocks!

Monday, December 28, 2009

He gives and takes away.................

Good Morning Blog World! I pray that you all had a wonderful Christmas with family and friends. Jeremy and I had a great Christmas this 2009 year! We did pre-Christmas celebrations with Jeremy's family and then headed to my hometown for the Holidays and it was all amazing! Some years with family are "for better or for worse", because we are human and so are they, but this year was most certainly for better. We saw prayers being answered, family members who have recently accepted Christ and now had real HOPE for the new year, Cross' sweet face light up for MORE presents, huggin my Daddy's neck one more year and my sweet Mother hosting us like a king and queen (and prince and princess, she even lets little Snicker Doodle rule the roost)! It was certainly a year to sit back and watch all the tiny and huge miracles God has done in our lives and in our families' lives!

In addition to the celebration of the birth of our awesome Savior and the Happy New Year that is right around the bend, we now have a sweet little birthday for our baby boy Joshua Cade who we lost when I was 4 months pregnant this time last year. This day marks one year and for so long I have wondered how on earth this day would make me feel. This past month we watched a dear, dear friend go through the same loss (with great poise and trust in her Savior might I add) and then several amazing friends getting the long awaited blessing of an adoption that actually was completed! It has been amazing to watch these two parallels and to reflect on how t-totally God has healed my very fragile heart over this last year. There were times at the beginning of 2009 that I never dreamed I would make it through another day because of the pain, much less through the entire year. There were times when I thought I would never be whole enough to raise the sweet baby I did have in my arms and now that bundle makes me smile from ear to ear every single day.

He gives and takes away, He gives and takes away, but our hearts MUST choose to say, "Lord, blessed be your name"! That is the perfect way to sum up my feelings! I am so sad that we had to endure that pain, but I wouldn't trade anything for knowing that one day I will have a formal introduction to that sweet baby boy who I know (because I saw his sweet face) looks more like his daddy than even Cross. I wouldn't change how it has allowed me the grace to love on others during their loss because now I know that gut wrenching pain, but even better the wholeness of full healing after grief. I am a better tool for it and even the fact that I can type those words is a loud cry of God's great grace and mercy upon our family!

So baby Cade, Mommy and Daddy love you so very much! We miss you and are sad that you are not in our arms this day! But because that sweet Baby came on Christmas day, we have a HOPE that is as real as anything that I can feel, taste, or touch in this room that we will see you again soon!


Thursday, December 24, 2009


Come, come and behold the Son
Come, come and behold the babe
Come, See what the Lord has done
Come, Heaven has made a way

See, see in the east the star
Come, now as the angels sing
"All Glory be unto God"
Born, Born is the Saving King

O Rejoice, Rejoice
Heaven sings tonight
Rejoice, The Lord has come

Still, still is the weary world
Still but for the humble praise
Hear, hear as the shepherds sing
Join, join as the drummer plays

Fall, fall on your knees all men
Joy, joy to the world this day
Here, find ye the word as flesh
Here, here on a bed of hay

Enough Said...........
Merry Christmas Everyone!
Love, The Bullocks!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

You are making it very difficult...................

This morning as Cross walked around the house whining and being very rude and bossy, I said under my breath in an attempt to try to keep my cool, "Cross, you are making it very difficult today for mommy to get excited about parenting you." I laughed almost immediately as I thought of our Father saying the same thing to us. All too often (I know for me at least) I make it very difficult for my husband to get excited about being married to me, my family and friends and coworkers to get excited about loving me, and I am sure I make it difficult for my son to get excited about me being his mommy. But most often I am certain that it is the Lord, who in His great perfection doesn't snatch me up by the neck several times a day, when I make it so difficult for Him to do what needs to be done to parent me properly. So this Christmas season, let's do everything in our power to make it EASY for those around us to love us, but most importantly, let's make it easy for our Father to bless us, to be proud to call us His chosen people, to parent us as we need! I love you guys! Merry Christmas Eve Eve!


Saturday, December 19, 2009

The Christian Religion..............

Christian religion is a phrase I just heard on the television. In addition to this phrase I have heard, "Holiday tradition", "world Christmas" and "only if it doesn't offend anyone", all of which have broken my heart. Jesus Christ, born of a virgin Mary, the Son of the living God, came to this earth for one purpose, to save His children from a life long separation from Him!


Let that sink in for one minute. I know some people think I am crazy, but this man named JESUS really has changed my life. He didn't come so that we could have a fun thing to do in December, not to boost the economy, and most certainly not so that families could have a safe little tradition or even religion for that matter. Jesus came to this earth so that we could reign victorious over satan and his schemes. He was born so that we could wake up in the morning and feel the presence of the Lord as if He were (actually is) in our hearts. He was born so that He could die, die for us, die for the broken, retched, and hopeless! He lived, so that He could die, so that we could live.

So this year, please, if you have not given your entire life over to Christ, do. I'm not just talking about your "salvation" although to date, my greatest blessing in life is my salvation in Christ. It isn't my amazingly handsome husband or happy healthy baby boy, it is my Savior. But know there is so much more to this whole thing than a stinkin "Christian Religion". Hear me say............HE WANTS TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND! And anything less just makes Christmas a shopping focused, tree decorating, unfulfilling, joke!

Christ came to this earth and died so that we could have a life of purpose, of hope and most certainly not for religion. He spoke constantly against religion as a matter of fact. He spoke of relationship, of things that were miraculous and supernatural. He did things that only HE could do and He allowed His servants to do things that only they could do because of HIM. He walked those roads in the Middle East not so that we could "co-exist" but so that we could all be saved. Saved from the pit of hell, you bet ya, but in some moments, for all of us, He came so that we could be saved from the hopelessness of this life.

In 2003 I was hopeless, and a sweet couple came along and told me of a Man who could always offer hope. They told me of a Book that could always release strongholds and heal men. They taught me of a Savior that was seeking us, not us seeking Him. And do you want to know the best part of it all, I believed them, and the even better part is, I still do! I still know that regardless of how I "feel" this Jesus thing is real and He has rocked my world for the last almost 7 years. He has completely recharted my course. He has healed me of about a million pains from my childhood and forgiven mounds of sin from my early adult years. He has broken addictions and given me the grace to grasp a hold of the life I have always desired. And just for the record, yes I do fully anticipate experiencing more and more intimacy, freedom, redemption, and grace for the next 50+ years to come. I don't intend on settling for a "Christian Religion" this season or any other. I want to sit in awe this awesome Holiday season, in awe of His submission to come to this earth for US. I want to sit in awe of His hunt for the lost sheep. I want to sit in awe for being that lost sheep and the sound of the angel's song when I was retrieved. I want to sit in awe of the fact that even the people who harmed me in my childhood can fall under His saving grace and that even the people that I hurt so desperately in my adulthood can forgive me by that same power.

I am asking you this year, no matter where you are in your journey towards faith in knowing Christ, to take a step towards Him and not towards religion. Don't celebrate this season in vain as if celebrating the birthday of a distant relative. Go celebrate this Holiday like someone who is smack dab in the middle of the family. Talk to Him and tell Him "thank you" as if He were sitting right next to you instead of far away in a distant, make-believe land. Don't settle for anything less in your life than victory (never perfection) and abundance (never safe and sound). I certainly don't think the the timing of reflection and amazement at our Savior's Birth and the relief and rejuvenation of the "New Year" is at all a coincidence. One goal worth having this 20-10 is getting to know that Baby in the manger as your one and only best friend for life! I love you all and I do pray that you all have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!


Monday, December 14, 2009

Writer's Block...........................

Hey gang,

Sorry it has been a bit since I last said hello. I seem to be having a tad bit of writer's block these days. There's really nothing new here at the Bullock home, just trucking along, trying to have more good days than bad. I am up at a very random hour after an early night nap so thought it was most fitting to say hello. Usually it is the early a.m. letters that I am most comfortable with but this late night feels fun all the same. OOOOHHHH I just got a dirty look from the hubs. That too is rare as he is never trying to sleep before me. He asked me politely to "go away" hahahhah! Oh the joys of life!

Many have asked "how are you guys doing" and the answer is better than we deserve. That is always a funny, older man, comment but that is reality here for sure. God is moving in our lives, although mainly in our hearts and only small steps in our circumstances, it is really more beautiful that way. Cross is growing like a weed, tall and skinny actually. His little butt can't hold up a pair of pants to save his life and he is starting the toddler eating strike that I had heard was coming. He picks at best. That stage doesn't do so well for the take it or leave it rule because the mama in you wants to offer him whatever just to make sure the little guy has enough calories to sleep, but I am getting better knowing that he is not going to starve.

Also, we have had a great victory here by giving up paci. I have always preferred the p-a-s-s-y spelling, you know, like sassy, but passy and J has informed me, laughing in front of friends, (they joined him) that I have no clue how to spell. That is really not new news, but it was hard to hear all the same. I informed him that slangs can be spelled however the user prefers. I should find that rule online and use a foot note just to show him up! Ok, where was I, yes paci is gone and honestly that was as smooth of a transition as any could have been. I am so blessed to have a new friend that made me suck it up and make the move and he did great. We have been doing nights and naps only for a while and the Lord walked me through the first few "crying it outs" and within a day or two we were down to like 1 minute of crying which is no more than when we had the paci lots of the time. So there's my mom advice for the day, wait until life is realitvely calm and then pull up your boot straps and get the job done! So much easier said than done I know.

Please do pray too for Cross' speech. At his 2-year well check the doc gave me the 3month grace, but then the speech troops must be called in. Pray that I will know what my role is to help him learn to talk but not carry the guilt burden that satan always attempts. I know in the end he will be a happy talking Kindergartner. I just know it is frustrating to him as well because he just can't always get what he wants in his head across to mommy's head and that would make anyone mad.

On a lighter note, I hope everyone is enjoying the picture of our little Christmas Snicker Bug. That was taken at our old Clarksville house and for the life of me I can't get our tag to go below her little body on the carpet so no "Bullock Family" and fun verse can be retrieved. I am so slow at this blog design stuff. Maybe one day I will have a personal designer who will give me the fun look and I won't have to mess with it! I prefer the writing part for sure. Little Snickers is a bit on the chubby side these days. I am sure the 3,000 pounds of gold fish Snicker Snacks that Cross has offered up has nothing to do with that extra weight. I tell him "no" but I just can't bring myself to discipline him for sharing with his sister. They are so darn cute together. They are finally at the age to enjoy one another's company (most of the time). Cross gives a good bye farewell to her when we leave and those are the first words out of his mouth when we pull in the drive way. Most of his words are sounding a bit redneckish. SNIIIIIIIIIIIICK and then "I tuck" for "I'm stuck" say it with a drawwwwwwwwww. It is so cute! Just makes my heart smile. In the mornings when he wakes and wants to get out of his crib he yells "Oh no........I tuck". You gotta love that! What a nice way of saying "come get me lady".

Well, other than that, the Bullocks are rocking along and the writer's block is broken! I am thanking Jesus for any and all victories we are having. He is so good, so faithful and the only hope at victory this life can bring. I am honored you read blog friends. Keep me posted on you!!!!


By the way, I am posting this without the hubs spell check so laugh along friends if there are any good ones, I can take it!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Please Pray..............

For Miss Beth!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Do you need help hearing from God?

Thursday, December 3, 2009