Monday, December 28, 2009

He gives and takes away.................

Good Morning Blog World! I pray that you all had a wonderful Christmas with family and friends. Jeremy and I had a great Christmas this 2009 year! We did pre-Christmas celebrations with Jeremy's family and then headed to my hometown for the Holidays and it was all amazing! Some years with family are "for better or for worse", because we are human and so are they, but this year was most certainly for better. We saw prayers being answered, family members who have recently accepted Christ and now had real HOPE for the new year, Cross' sweet face light up for MORE presents, huggin my Daddy's neck one more year and my sweet Mother hosting us like a king and queen (and prince and princess, she even lets little Snicker Doodle rule the roost)! It was certainly a year to sit back and watch all the tiny and huge miracles God has done in our lives and in our families' lives!

In addition to the celebration of the birth of our awesome Savior and the Happy New Year that is right around the bend, we now have a sweet little birthday for our baby boy Joshua Cade who we lost when I was 4 months pregnant this time last year. This day marks one year and for so long I have wondered how on earth this day would make me feel. This past month we watched a dear, dear friend go through the same loss (with great poise and trust in her Savior might I add) and then several amazing friends getting the long awaited blessing of an adoption that actually was completed! It has been amazing to watch these two parallels and to reflect on how t-totally God has healed my very fragile heart over this last year. There were times at the beginning of 2009 that I never dreamed I would make it through another day because of the pain, much less through the entire year. There were times when I thought I would never be whole enough to raise the sweet baby I did have in my arms and now that bundle makes me smile from ear to ear every single day.

He gives and takes away, He gives and takes away, but our hearts MUST choose to say, "Lord, blessed be your name"! That is the perfect way to sum up my feelings! I am so sad that we had to endure that pain, but I wouldn't trade anything for knowing that one day I will have a formal introduction to that sweet baby boy who I know (because I saw his sweet face) looks more like his daddy than even Cross. I wouldn't change how it has allowed me the grace to love on others during their loss because now I know that gut wrenching pain, but even better the wholeness of full healing after grief. I am a better tool for it and even the fact that I can type those words is a loud cry of God's great grace and mercy upon our family!

So baby Cade, Mommy and Daddy love you so very much! We miss you and are sad that you are not in our arms this day! But because that sweet Baby came on Christmas day, we have a HOPE that is as real as anything that I can feel, taste, or touch in this room that we will see you again soon!


1 comment:

Em said...

Oh, Kel!!! Once again your blog has brought me to tears. I miss you and love you all so much. I can't imagine the pain that you all have been through losing your sweet baby Cade, but I know that you will have unspeakable joy when you get to meet him in heaven! Can't wait to see you all again, hopefully sooner rather than later! Praying for you all the time!!!!