Saturday, September 4, 2010

UPs and downs, HIGHS and lows...............

Hey gang, as I sit in front of this computer compiling a list of the 5,001 things I will need for the Dossier and then I scanned over the EIGHT page document I will need to fill out for just ONE grant, none of this is counting a glorious form called the I600a (which I have not even thought about), I am a bit paralyzed. I thought a plea for prayer would be a better use of my time right now. I am usually good at paperwork. It is like one big list and I LOVE lists, but this was more than I could handle, especially considering it is night and you all know just how well I do at night. In the strangest of ways, had I looked at this at 5 a.m. it may have felt like a good challenge, but at 9 p.m. it is making me want to cry. In addition to the paperwork we still need a miracle in the approximate amount of $28,425.00 NOW, that requires a LOT of faith! So here's my prayer this Labor Day Weekend Night, that I will TRUST JESUS, to get these docs done, to give me the time to do my part (a two year old, a part time job with an event a few weeks away and this thing I would like to somewhat keep called a LIFE are all making time a very valuable commodity). Please also pray that I will LEAN NOT ON MY OWN UNDERSTANDING in regards to the money. That is almost easy considering the amount, yet I keep trying to think of "ways" but they all include time and time is what I don't have. So just pray that I will trust Jesus. And finally, pray for me to trust Jesus and not carry guilt. If I think too much about all of this I will beat myself up for not locking myself in a room for hours and knocking this out. This paperwork to me represents a life that gets a modest piece of bread each day for her meal (singular). You get the point. I feel guilty for everyday that goes by and I don't have my paperwork in. I KNOW that God's grace will cover her until we can get to her, heck, long after we get to her for that matter, but pray that I FEEL that grace myself! Ok, thanks a ton, I have never been so thankful for your prayers. Have a great long weekend! Pray I can take it one step at a time!!!!



Emily Doss said...

Welcome to the adoption process. There are many many highs and many many lows. But in the end the joy is so worth it.

Try to enjoy the journey.

I've heard too many stories about how all the details worked out in the end (and lived that myself) but sometimes it's hard to realize that in the midst of the details.

Emily said...

Someone recently told me, keep your joy because that is where your strength lies. Kelly, keep it up girl. You are in the wonderful hands of our Heavenly Father!!! how perfect! So is sweet Mercy!