Monday, October 25, 2010


Hey gang, I thought it would be fun to do a little post called Frequently Asked Questions about the adoption. This has all happened SO quickly and because of the mountains of paperwork I have been hiding under I have had very few awesome "catch up" conversations with my girl friends. It seems like groceries, a few days of work, dinners, laundry, and an occasional house cleaning are more than I can handle considering I am also supposed to be raising a child and filling out enough paperwork to write a book and did I mention I have a husband. With all of this I thought a fun update would be at least a little more personal than me falling off the face of the earth. Considering this schedule I greatly look forward to saying good bye to work and hello to stay at home mom land filled with fun memories, coffee dates and play dates with friends and I am also praying for some road trips to make the time with nonstop kiddos loads of fun.

So we'll start there, attachment, that's a word I am not at all familiar with, but will most certainly be learning. Cross was literally attached to me 8 times a day and I stayed at home full time until he was almost 2 and he is attached, we are certain of that. But this sweet baby girl will take much more focus and attention and I know God is going to give me the grace to do it well, rarely does perfect exists this side of Heaven, but I am shooting for well. Toddler adoption takes even more attachment concentration. One thing we are going to attempt is to make certain that at least for the first 6 months she is by our side! I am praying that I am finally going to get my cuddler and that she will get to be the receiver of my much neglected love language for many years to come. I got a husband, touch is last on his love language list, I got a dog, low on hers, I got a son, even lower on his............I think my day is coming. I picture this calm little girl that I can take anywhere because she just wants to snuggle in mommy's lap. Anything past that detail I have no clue. I am going to read tons and I am going to pray gobs

Ok, next question "why a toddler?" Ok, so no one has really asked this out loud, but I know they are asking it in their minds, I would be. The answer is really, because that was what God gave us the desire to have. We were so heart broken when we lost Cade who would have only been 18 (I think) months apart from Cross. Then we started noticing Cross HATING to share or having no clue how to interact with other kids. One day a friend who I am super close with even said, "he needs a sibling" and I said, "I know, I'm trying but it looks like the only way they will be close in age is if we adopt a toddler". That was God. As far as the girl thing, I just knew it was supposed to be a girl. God told me I would meet her at the first orphanage and I did and so far He has confirmed that word with a million open doors. So that's why a toddler girl.

"How is Cross doing with it all" and the answer is most certainly so far so great. He shakes his head yes and smiles if you ask if he is getting a sister. He did rip her new back pack with her name on it out of my hands and yell "my pink pack pack", which was about the cutest darn thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I went and got him a back pack that was put away for him and he was thrilled. I want to be very cautious that although I know it will be good for him to share life, I don't want him to be shell shocked and start to resent his new sister. He loves to talk about her and he calls her "Mercy girl". We are going to let them share a room and I am hoping to put her bed up in December so he can begin to tuck a doll in, etc, just get used to the whole idea, slowly but surely. It is happening fast, but we are trying to introduce it all to him slowly. He knows mommy went to "see the babies in Africa". Now when I go back he will know I am going to see Mercy and then when Jeremy and I go together that we are going to get her, you get the point. He really has no clue, but he will!

Next question on what now is the longest post known to man-kind, pictures, when can we see pictures?" Not until the court date is final and we are approved can we share pictures publicly, sorry!!!!!! But OH WILL THEY COME!

Will I get to meet the birth parents? Yes and no, there is no known birth father, but I will get to meet the birth mother at court, obviously pray for that even starting now. She had to give her sweet baby girl up because she could not feed her. She was VERY malnourished when she arrived at the orphanage. It breaks my heart!

What are the health issues you mentioned before? Because of her severe malnourishment the doctors quickly diagnosed her with mosaic down syndrome after arriving at the orphanage. She did not have all the traits, but several. There is no way to do genetic testing until she arrives in the states so we had to work through a lot of emotions and a thousand "what if's" but God has given us great confirmation that she is to be our baby girl. She has made vast improvements in the year that she has been eating well (that is relative of course) in the orphanage so when I saw her I saw no signs. The news took me by shock and I ran for a while, but I stopped and so did my sweet J and now we are thrilled no matter what, she is ours!

When will you go back and get her? Approximately 6 weeks after court, but I found out today that we may not know an exact date until the week before we need to leave. Just what 2 type A planners loves to hear! Februaryish! I did have a great talk with our pediatrician today who will actually be in Ghana in February. He is so excited and plans to work out all the details of her needed tests and visits as soon as we get our last travel date! Thank you Jesus for a missionary pediatrician who loves some African babies!

And finally, "how do you feel about all of this". And I can honestly answer, blessed! This has been a crazy ride of what I will call quick surrender. Some people say "God worked on me in that area for years" and although I have adoption stories going back to when I babysat a sweet little girl in high school from China, woven throughout my life, if you would have told me we would be adopting from Ethiopia in 2010 in say, April, I would have told you that you had lost your ever loving mind! It has been a roller coaster, but the greatest thing I have seen is that a God that has moved VERY slowly in VARIOUS situations over the past few years, can move at lightening speed when He wants! He is in control of the entire universe and when He wants to teach you something through a slow circumstance He will, but He may chose to teach you through the ride of your life all the same. I went from never stepping foot outside of the country (other than Cancun, but that does NOT count) to making 3 trips to Ethiopia in just a little over 6 months. That is Jesus if you ask me! So today I feel great! I am thrilled I have a friend going with me to court and I am thrilled life is moving on! Even though this is not what I envisioned, it is certainly MOVING on!

Finally (if you are still reading, what's a few more lines) something I will ask that you pray for me and for yourself because I am fairly certain most of us struggle in this area. Pray that we don't chase things, circumstances, children, houses, cars (or even mini vans) to make us happy. Pray that we are so incredibly in love with Jesus that He overtakes our entire lives to the point that these things are just icing on the cake, that they are not attempting to be the cake themselves. He is the cake! He is it! If I never get Mercy girl, or Chapel, or if we live in our 1100 square foot rental with no dishwasher for the rest of our lives, that we will be content in Jesus! I love you tons!


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