Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I had it in my head...............

Good Morning Blog World! I have had a little thought swirling around in this mommy brain for a week or so now and that usually means I need to make time and get on and share. I personally love a revelation from the Lord, even sometimes when it is convicting, because it still helps all of this crazy life seem to make a bit more sense and to me that is never a loss. I was also remined a few days ago from the various texts I got throughout the day from a dear friend just how UP and down life can be and how much we need all the revelation we can possibly get.

Ok, so on to the topic at hand, a week or so ago I had the glorious privilege of taking a road trip to the big city of Louisville, KY with some dear friends. I got to have one of my most favorite treats on earth and that is road-trip girl-talk. To me there is really nothing better (well I do enjoy road trip hubby talk as well). You have hours and hours to hear every one's entire life story. If you don't have kids with you it is like a 3 hour uninterrupted phone conversation and any mom out there (or pour soul trying to chat on the phone with a mom) knows that NEVER happens. You can tell the whole story, details and all, not just the shortened version. You can focus because there is nothing else pulling at your attention, other than an occasional GPS mishap that is. To me it really is the best.

One of the sweet girls on our journey was telling a story of how she had experienced something so many of us know full well, life, our idea of what it would be verses the sometimes sobering reality of what it in fact really is. Along the way she coined a term that I just cannot get out of my thoughts. She said, "I had it in my head...". Nothing deep to the average Joe, but to me that day God made that the most profound phrase ever. It was like God had shined a spotlight, used a heavenly highlighter, and said to me "this is your problem with a lot of things in life Kelly, you had it in your head".

I don't know about you guys but I am problem solving junky. I am really NOT the gal to come to just to vent, I wanna HELP. I wanna solve your problem, find a solution, fix it quickly and move on with life. I usually run as if every trail in life is one good solution away from disappearing. I have a doctor or a book for just about anything and my (not so) glorious advise on life very often carries over into my relationship with the Lord. I GET IT IN MY HEAD all the time what He should do, how He should fix it, how He could make everything all better. And with this very annoying tendancy I am frequently let down because God didn't react how I thought He should, He didn't perform how I thought would be best, He didn't do the miracle I had it in my head that He should do.

So as I sat down to type this a.m. the Lord instantly gave me a verse and so I had to also share with you because SURELY I am not the only one out there with this need to fix everything ailment. It's one we hear all the time, one we see written on wall hangings and such, one we probably know by heart but God is showing me not by head. Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING (whatever you had in your head) and in all your ways acknowledge Him (the maker of the Heavens and the earth) and HE will make your path straight. (Emphasis mine, hahhaha)

I felt like God was saying to me, every time you have something in my head, even when you think you prayed and I led you that way, when things don't work out like that in your reality, lean not. Lean not on your own understanding, remember I am BIG, my ways are not your ways. I do have a plan, a solution, and quiet honestly it is much better than yours, thank you very much. Just TRUST IN ME!

So with that said this average everyday a.m., what do you have in your head? What do you have in your head to the point that you would be darn right annoyed with God if He didn't cause it to be in your reality? I usually keep a pocket of several but I would love nothing more this morning than to just lay them ALL down. I would love it if I could get to the point that I didn't demand God to perform how I had in mind, over the big as well as the little. When someone gets a cold and my day doesn't go as planned or when 4 years of my life seem to be an insane roller coaster I never ever saw coming, may I lean not and trust in. He is BIG, we are little, He is really smart and all knowing, we only pretend to be, He HAS OUR BEST INTEREST AT HEART, we have our selfish interest in mind. I would love to look back in 5 years and have actually been more trusting in Him and less trusting in me. I would love to not always need to know why or have a great solution ready to share. I would love to watch HIM work out the details and see the glorious benefits of staying out of the way. How about you guys? Pray for me and I'll pray for you!


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