Ok, I just have to say it again, but if you haven’t been on for a while, please scroll down and start with Joshua Cade Bullock. One, because he was a sweetie and two, because nothing else in my life will make any sense unless you have.
I want to thank you again for all your prayers. A few days ago, I was at lunch with an amazing new friend and during that one hour period while my phone was on vibrate, I literally got like 8 calls and txts, (did I just do that, txt lingo on the computer, yep, sorry) all of which were sweet friends just checking on me. That carries you through the day let me tell ya, a blessing of Christian community to say the least. I have thought so many times through these past few weeks, how do people do this life without Jesus, how do they live through these trials without the comfort of the Lord? But I am also even more convinced than ever that this is one of the most amazing benefits of Christian community. Do you have to go to church to be a Christian, no, certainly not. For years I was a Christian yet chose not to go to church. For those of you who knew me during those years, it most certainly was not working for me not to mention it is in opposition to the Word of God. Today, I feel like I am living out the principal of why God’s Word tells us to not give up meting together (Hebrews 10:24-25). Christian community has played probably the most major role in my road to healing and to that I will be forever grateful. I have no idea what this burden would have weighed if I hadn’t literally had so many people praying me through. It has really meant the world to me and I pray if you don’t have awesome Christian community that you will dive in this coming Sunday because you never know when those people will be your literal air.
Ok, so back to lots in life. I may have gotten a little side track, sorry. I thought about naming it “lots of life” because that too is what it means. Most of us are dealing with a lot of life. As I have looked around recently, my personal tragedy has been placed on pause as I have observed others’ lives. Please know that I say that with the total freedom to continue to grieve, but with the harsh reality that even in my pain, it is true. Just in the circle of friends that I share, I know people who have had cancer, are single parents, haven’t been able to get pregnant, lost babies once they were pregnant, had to quit jobs because God told them to (there are actually several of us which is quiet comforting), people whose marriages are in need of nothing less than a miracle of Jesus and others who are being called to be that hero in their marriage. I have friends who hate their jobs, who hate where they live, who have just spent 15 MONTHS away from their husbands, who have lost literally thousands, upon thousands in the stock market, whose children are fighting drug addictions, friends who are being called to home-school despite the fact that they would love nothing more than to be released of that calling, who are in financial panic, who lost loved ones in Iraq, who have even had a puppy missing overnight…………………So, are you getting my point, we are all living a lot of life or our lot in life, which ever you would prefer to call it.
Now, please know if there is ever an advocate of fix what you can fix, it is me, but many of these people are doing EXACTLY what the Lord has called them to do or their circumstances are 110% out of their control, as were ours. Sometimes we just seem to forget (or maybe I seem to forget) which side of Heaven we are on and on this side, we need not expect anything less than our lot in life.
Sure, some may look like they are on the express route. Their lot may seem a lot less than yours, but please know that either they are doing a mighty fine job of painting a pretty picture on the outside or their lot is still being shipped. NONE OF US, NOT ONE are excused from this reality. This is certainly not Heaven and for me today, it doesn’t even seem like Kansas. I like when the lot isn’t as thick, as fresh, as new as it was this week, but I know that too will come. I also know that doing things God’s way is the only sure way of making the smallest lot for your life. If I can at least avoid all the ones I caused for years, I will have as much of easy street as planet earth can offer, but life is still just plain hard. It stinks sometimes and boy do I look expectantly forward to its end.
BUT IN THE MEANTIME, I was rereading this and getting depressed myself so I figure we better get to the good stuff quickly before we all hit the floor in defeat. The week after all of this happened, this song kept running through my head, it was one my dear friend in Elizabeth City would sing with her two beautiful daughters (that family I have mentioned that has the insane amount of talent all under one last name, the Pinto family to be exact). It simply says, “The joy of the Lord is my strength” and then some more good stuff I could never remember so I just kept humming the tune. I would find myself singing this song over and over as I tried to go about normal life and I kept thinking, of all the songs to “recall” this is an odd choice. Well, it was an odd choice, it was my Holy Spirit’s choice and His ways are not our ways either. As God would ordain it, those sweet sisters of mine were actually making plans to record that EXACT song for me without any knowing of my recall. (Does that not just give you chills??) So I wanted to share it with you, but I have no way of doing so, at least none that I know of so the words below will have to do! All my sisters reading need a big dose of hope. Wherever you are in your lot of life, I know it isn’t always fun. I know Heaven will be a lot better to say the least and if you aren’t 100% sure that is where you are going, please email me ( bullockfamily77@gmail.com ) because without that you really are hopeless (no offense). The joy of the Lord IS our strength for this thing we call life on earth. In Heaven it will be our life, but on earth it is our strength, our strength to endure until that amazing day when we are called home.
I love you all and thank you again for your prayers. I can somehow, only by His amazing grace, sing this song at the top of my lungs (never will that be recorded praise Jesus) and mean it from the bottom of my heart…………
The joy of the Lord IS my strength (Neh 8:10),
K
*Note the highlighted verse, my personal fav!
The joy of the Lord will be my strength
I will not falter; I will not faint
He is my shepherd; I am not afraid
The joy of the Lord is my strength!
The joy of the Lord will be my strength
He will uphold me all of my days
I am surrounded by mercy and grace
The joy of the Lord is my strength!
The joy of the Lord will be my strength
I will not waver walking by faith
He will be strong to deliver me safe
And the joy of the Lord is my strength!
*Just thought it was cool, this is my 100th post, that is a lot of life! :)
Sunday, January 11, 2009
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