is very thankful for that 77! What I have learned these past two weeks is this...I needed God to move a million mountains to get my baby girl home, but I have also needed Him to speak to me about a million times over once she got here. These past two weeks have been a roller coaster to say the least, but the Holy Spirit has proved faithful and beyond personal through the entire ride. From what the heck to do about Snick and Mercy to how on earth I would repent of and deal with my anger towards my sweet son as he rough housed my girl. (It is easy to get just darn right angry at someone for being mean to your baby girl but what on earth do you do when it is your very own son?) God has spoken to me constantly today as I have been potty training Cross and He has given me 4 videos over these past two weeks that spoke to my empty heart like non-other possibly could without divine intervention. He has given me meals for two solid weeks and then when it was supposed to be all said and done I got a call today from a sweet lady who had us one more. Do you know how encouraging it is to know that Jesus sent you a dinner when you have cleaned up 8 accidents before 9:30 a.m.?? (How is it even humanly possible to pee and poop that much so early in the morning?) He has literally reminded me this week that I am nothing without Him and that I can do nothing without Him, especially raise these babies. But what was even more amazing than that revelation was that He showed me just how much He would come along side of me and help, even in the tiniest detail of the "smallest" thing. He is there! He is able! He is so worthy of our praise!
So what do the Bullocks think about all of this, we think we couldn't be more thankful to have the King of Kings whisper in our ears and tell us what on earth to do next while at the same time giving us glimpses of the future and what these kids could really become if FIGHT tooth and nail to cling to our Savior and raise them His way! Mercy is now always prompting us to pray. She repeated after me the other night a perfect prayer (the most she has ever repeated in English) and I could hardly get through the thing without sobbing. I didn't want her to be even more confused so I refrained but I came back in the living room knowing the entire day of battling satan's lies had been worth it. He has put me through the ringer this week and with my shields down I have been hit from all angles and without energy to war. But because His mercy's are new every morning, I kept hearing Him say, "just start today, fight today, everything in life worth having takes a fight and these babies are worth the war". I have wanted to give up, give in and get the heck out of dodge, but by God's great grace I have won another small battle in the war called life and I have overcome another day.
So thank you for your prayers. They are needed! We DID by God's grace have a "dry" potty training afternoon so that was a win of all wins. The Lord is faithful to give us hope, even in the midst of a ton of crap (sorry I just couldn't resist). So I am off to take a shower (better late than never). I am going to ignore the rest of that coulda/woulda/shoulda get done list and I am going to try to get a good nights rest so that I can beat those kids to the punch in the a.m. and get me some Jesus so that they will be proud to call me mom instead of wanting to run for the hills. You guys do the same, we all have something in life we are being called to tackle that is just too big for us to do without Him, He designed it that way. So if you are like me and feel like you are failing miserably, be encouraged, He is just waiting for you to admit it! He will handle the rest!
K
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