Sunday, June 21, 2009

Strength will rise....................

as we wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord. This is quit possibly one of the oddest sentences, yet most true sentences I have ever heard in my whole life. Today as we were rocking it out at Grace, it hit me, I had a light bulb moment about what on earth this song really means and I just couldn't resist sharing it with you guys.

Ok, for a recap.....this past week has been a hard one! I would have been due with Cade on Tuesday, I had the flu, I had some other news that turned me into a faithless crazy woman..........But thankfully, by Thursday and by God's great and amazing grace I had pulled it back together and I was believing God again! Just to let you know how bad it was, one day this week I even chatted with a woman on the phone who was going through a rough time and I was telling her to basically "trust Jesus" and after we got off, I thought to myself, "what a load of crab, I don't even feel that today, why am I asking someone else to". But our God is a gracious God and His mercies are new EVERY MORNING and slowly as the day went on, the truths that I have tucked in my heart finally caught back up with my reality and I was finally "feeling" what I want others so desperately to believe which is the fact that the answer really is always JESUS! I often think of something Beth Moore says, "don't judge how I worship because you don't know what me and my God have been through". Well today, as I drove home from the store alone in my car with David Crowder's song "Remedy" playing as loud as my ears could bare, I thought to myself, "don't judge how I worship because you don't know what me and my God have been through THIS WEEK". He has rocked my world enough this week alone to make me dance all over Clarksville, Tennessee and repeat David's (Jesse's son and Crowder) phrase, IT IS CERTAINLY GOING TO GET MORE UNDIGNIFIED THAN THIS!

This week I have been at the lowest of lows, those moments where you are so mad at God that you can hardly even breath. So wanting a drink or a cookie or a pill that you feel like you will physically explode. And then other moments I have been on top of the world. I have seen one of the sweetest girls on earth fall madly in love with her Savior and His Word this week and realize that He really IS the comfort for those in need. I received $1,000 in the mail when I had no idea how I was going to buy gas. I have seen my man live out this Jesus thing without one ounce of an intent to wavier. We had an amazing day on the lake with our small group and to top it off, J and I even get a hot date night for Father's Day that we can actually afford to take.

I am so thankful that I didn't cave in the other night, that God gave me the grace to cling to Him and find a way out of the temptation to sin in my pain. I am so thankful today that strength is rising as I wait upon the Lord. You see, the song doesn't go "strength will rise as we get what we want from the Lord, what we want from the Lord, what we want from the Lord". doesn't say that for a reason and that reason is because it is most certainly not true. Today NOTHING has really changed but my heart really is getting stronger, trusting, KNOWING that my God is going to move in our life, that He can be trusted and believed and that He most certainly DOES have a plan, hope, and a future for my family!

So how bout you? Is God building your strength by the hot iron (not to be confused with the glorious flat iron) of the wait? I know how you feel, TRUST ME. And I so wish it weren't the case, TRUST ME. But at the end of the day, I really do believe that our strength does increase through at least the fruit on the other side of the wait if not just by the wait itself. I have waited on the Lord before and I will wait on Him again but I certainly hope at least after this season I have the biceps to prove it!

Love you guys to death!!!

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