What if?

Good Morning Blog World! I write to you this Sunday morning from my Mom's house in Winchester, TN. We have been waiting for weeks and weeks to sneak away and come here. My mom loves Jeremy's handy, honey-do skills, and we love the chance for the whole world to stop and here it does so for free. We watch TONS of HGTV, eat lots, and rest even more. Cross woke up this morning and walked into the silence of the living room and screamed JAMES (my nephew, his only boy cousin) so the games I am certain are about to begin. I, however, am trying to sneak on to the internet and share with you what the Lord shared with me this a.m. because it might be the most profound thing I have ever read. I titled the post "what if" because all morning I kept thinking, "what if I had not picked this study back up", "what if my crazy alarm had not gone off (unintended)" and "what if I had not heard the Lord's still small voice, say "come on, I set it for you, I am dying to chat"".

Ok, where to start? Let me begin with the first sentence that caught my attention this early morning with no coffee since making it would have awaken all. Bear with me here, there will be a LOT of quoting from Mrs. Beth, but I am certain it will bless you as it blessed me, well I am most certainly praying it will at least! All of the below portion is coming from "When Godly People Do Ungodly Things" Week Three, Day Five.

"I got a bit of a late start writing today. Toward the end of the praise and worship service I attended in the den of my cabin this morning (by myself), I heard the voice of God speak to my heart: "Come and play.""

"I don't always hear Him like that, oh how I wish I did, but I don't. Sometimes we have to walk away from the deafening demands of our chaotic lives to inhale His sweet spirit."

"I lived much of my life having no idea how a mortal heart with eyes blinded to the object of their greatest pleasure could be so slain by immortal romance. I will not rest. Hear me. I will not rest until I have told everyone who will listen of this wondrous love."

"Oh Beloved, we sing of this love week after week in our perfectly timed orders of worship while heaven's hosts gather curiously and watch masses of mortals sing in one accord of a love they do not know."

"A fury rises within me, and my soul shakes its fist. Surely the vilest of all demons' doctrines tells us that love for God, since He is by essence unseen and untouched, is not something you feel. Lies!"

Friends, this is a fury that is in my soul as well and never in this lifetime could I have put it in more perfect words. Why, why, why is religion so rampant? Why, why, why is relationship so far from so many believer's reach? Why? It is because they are missing out on God's love! I don't get up in the a.m. to do some religious check list called a quiet time. I don't go to church(sometimes every time the doors open) to make myself feel better about life or to keep a legalistic ritual. I will for sure say that temptation is always there. It is always lurking it's ugly face. Religion is a seductive lie and it is always lurking. No, I promise you, I GO, I AWAKE, I listen to worship music and sermons and I burn them like crazy, to the point of breaking my burner, because I LOVE God's lavish LOVE! I am addicted. I would rather hear one word spoken over me from Him than a thousand from man. I sometimes feel like the lucky one because I did not grow up in church. I watch so many of my now friends who did and they battle the "do good" religious temptation over and over. When God specifically times His rescue for you in the middle of your most horrific sin ever, you feel LOVE! When you had NOTHING to offer Him, yet He chased madly after you, you feel LOVE! The lie so many believe that I just somehow had the grace to detect is "That love was meant for so-in-so." You fill in the blank, Beth Moore, Billy Graham, heck maybe even Kelly Bullock. Oh what a lie that would be!!!!!!!!!!!

So blog world, this Sunday day, let's not be a mass of mortals confusing the angels with a song that doesn't seem to match our hearts. HE LOVES US! He loves you and He loves me. HE DIED FOR US, what more proof would we need? I once heard, "So He was willing to die for us, but now He is not willing to talk to us?" Satan's lie really proves brilliant-If I get them to think He is far and distant, then they won't SEEK His presence and therefore they won't FEEL His love.

This past Friday our church did their monthly Night of Worship. Our worship leader causes me to press in like I have never pressed before. She causes me to CHASE the throne. "We won't be satisfied with anything ordinary, we won't be satisfied at all". That's a song I end up screaming to the top of my lungs. We were meant to be content in our lives, but never satisfied with ordinary and there is a HUGE difference. This a.m. I pray you worship not only at your church but also in your home, in the quietness and privacy of your backyard or on a stroll around the neighborhood! You may not "feel" anything when you get started. You may even "feel" angry, frustrated and unloved. But I can promise you, those would actually be just feelings and not truth. Truth states that Jesus is madly and wildly in love with YOU! He is dying for you to FEEL it and He promises, that if you seek Him, He will be found! I am jealous for you, I am jealous for my babies who will grow up in a Christian home, I am jealous that they will never have to battle the pulling reigns of religion. May they (nor you) be satisfied with anything ordinary, may we not be satisfied at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

K

Here is a great way to get started............
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPOKbgNP1ik&feature=related

Who has permission?

Good Morning Blog World! It has been a crazy past few days as a sinus problem has come on the scene, my father went back into the hospital (he is fine now) which led to a spur of the moment trip to Winchester, which all contributed to me feeling physically thus mentally at my whits end. THEN an unexpected, 5 minute phone call, changed it all. You see, by God's great and amazing grace, I have a few friends in my life that have permission. Although we are all busy moms and rarely have time to chat for hours or even pray together for 10 minutes, they know they have permission to speak into my life, even if it hurts. That was exactly what happened yesterday. As my body was becoming more and more frail, I called a dear friend of mine who lives almost 1,000 miles away and left her a message and asked her to please pray for me. Well, as God would so graciously and personally do, He gave her insight and wisdom into my situation and she was bold enough to call me back and share. In a nut shell she said that the Lord had showed her that this was a spiritual battle and that my defenses were down, thus I was floundering at the fight. What a word that was, she had no idea the depths, but I most certainly did. Right now I am in between Bible Studies, thus my quite times are random at best. I have not really been IN the Word in weeks, maybe even a month, and it is showing. So often we separate the physical problems in our lives from the spiritual ones and so very often they really go hand in hand.

So I knew that I had to get a plan to build back my defense and that I needed to hurry! Ephesians 6 says to put on the full armour of God and I needed to start with the sword of the Spirit which is the Word. So I pulled out an old study, a Beth Moore that I had not finished. After opening to the page that was in line for me to begin and read "Seduce-Proofing Our Lives", I knew God was smiling saying, "not only will I show you the problem, but I will also supply the answer"! How good is He!

So I wanted to leave you with a few quotes from the study and ask you to pray that I build my armour back this week, this month and the years and lifetime I have ahead. And finally I wanted to ask you, who has permission? Who in your life has permission to call you out in love? Who in your life do you communicate with about your deepest junk (as well as everyday life) so that they know enough to share wisdom and truth? Who are you connected with enough, even if it is only per the phone, that has full permission to speak life into you by the leading and prompting of the Holy Spirit? This morning I praised God for my dear friend! I praised Him that although she now has 3 young children that He has given us the grace to still stay connected. I praised Him that He gave me the grace to listen to wise counsel and to wake up this a.m. and fight again!

So I leave you with this challenge. These people rarely fall out of the clear blue sky into our laps. They usually are relationships that we build along the way. They are friends we have taken the leap and chosen to be vulnerable with despite our always busy schedules. They are friends that we have ASKED to help us, to hang out with us, and to speak truth into us. So make sure today that you touch base with that someone who does in fact have permission and if you are lacking that someone, I ask that you spend some time praying and asking the Lord who that certain someone(s) is to be! I love you dearly, I am so thankful for a personal God that doesn't leave me hanging out to dry when I have missed the boat. No, He sends the rescue crew each and every time! Have a glorious Wednesday!

Because of Him,
K

Quotes from "When Goldy People Do Ungodly Things" Week 3

"Without happiness in Christ, any other source of joy can become a tool for seduction. Nothing will make you consistently happier than a vibrant relationship with Jesus Christ."

"We have a yes God who says no only to things that aren't worthy of His children and don't fit into their own personal 1 Corinthians 2:9s."

"............I pray that every one of us will know by heart that dissatisfaction is a stronghold waiting to happen. An unsatisfied soul should never be ignored."

Shhhhhhhhhhhhh

No I will NOT let you take a picture of me in my surgery gown.................


Studying with my daddy..........

Say Cheese...................

My boo-boo, this is long gone, but we STILL talk lots about our boo-boo!

Do you hear that? Nope, it's not a screaming kid, it's not a barking dog, it's not a messy house calling out to be cleaned, no it is complete and utter silence!!! Oh Blog Friends, I have anxiously awaited this very moment for weeks and it has finally come! Why on earth and how on earth did I let life get so busy? For those of you who know me well I personally HATE the word busy! I am a firm believer in the fact that we ourselves set our schedules and ESPECIALLY as a stay at home mom it makes absolutely no sense for me to be too busy! My sweet husband has grown me so much in this area. As you can probably tell, even if you don't know me well, I am a bit hyper and a bit of a thrill junky, but my sweet man..............he is cooooooool, calm, and collective. He is never in a tizzy, never too busy, he has NO problem chilling and enjoying life. When we got married he made it very clear that we were not going to have something going on every night and every weekend. Well, now I am sold! I have looked forward to this very weekend for almost a month as it was the one scratched out in the calendar for absolutely nothing. After the Walk (which was amazing by the way if I forgot to update, the Center has to-date raised almost $27,000, thank you Jesus) and a million other things that were non-negotiable in the schedule, this weekend was a must. This morning I woke up and cleaned the house and although that is no one's most favorite job, man does it feel good when it is complete. I can still smell my glorious lavender Swiffer Wets! I also have my laundry done AND groceries bought AND meals planned for the week! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Now I am most certainly NOT saying all of this to brag or to rub it in your face in case you are where I was a few weeks ago and couldn't even get on and read this blog much less feel "caught up". No, I am writing it to say, it feels good and we should all do it a bit more often! Let's get with the Lord and let Him write our schedule and wouldn't you know, it works! Let's slow down, let's get the darn to-do list done, but then let's stop adding to it! Let's enjoy our lives, let's be good stewards of our time, let's give our bodies rest! Let's say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to about a billion "good" things in order to get what is best! Let's take a stroll around the cul-da-sac with our families and let's buy the clothes, and organize the closets, but when they are done, let's be DONE!

Ok, so didn't totally intend for that rant, but there it is and by the way, if you are local and haven't read the previous post, please do, if you are away, skip it, hahhahah! So where was I? Oh yes, I really got on to do some random and miscellaneous updates! I have been so thrilled to get to sit and catch up with many of you! I have the coolest blog friends EVER! One just completed an Iron Man, one has been having a Sleep Over since February, but I am sure there is a great reason for that. One just got a clean bill of health after a year long battle with breast cancer! THANK YOU LORD! One just had a baby after the Lord gave her great wisdom. She insisted on a test that proved her pregnancy a danger so they took the baby early and she is going great. That friend in particular I have never met personally, but oh how I love her heart! I thought it was high time that I actually posted a picture or two and sat down for a nice long hello chat. I think I'll even pause and go heat me up a cup of coffee for the event..............

WEW, much better! For some reason coffee and chats seem to just naturally go hand and hand. So let's start with J, well let me tell ya, that man makes me so proud. As I told you in the shortest post to date and probably ever, he did PASS all of his tests! He is one happy man not having to study any more and he is already loving his work. The Lord has been so faithful through this entire process and we have seen so much evidence of that faithfulness lately! Today I was reminded again of how thankful I am that J did not turn to sin and addiction during such a tough season, but that he stuck it out and now he is receiving his reward. He for sure has a new skip in his step! As I said before, we know life is most certainly not going to be perfect from here on out, but it DOES feel good to have such a major prayer answered and to say "so long" to the dessert land!

Now for my sweet little man Cross. Today as he had his hands in his pockets and his little baseball cap on talking to the neighbor using his all time favorite word "mon-mower" (lawn mower) over and over I could have just about died and gone to Heaven right there! He is talking up a storm now and we are most certainly sure that the tubes have worked! I guess living here in good ol Tennessee where the pollen count is outrageous, my sweet little guy has just not been able to hear for all of the fluid in his ears. After 14 million trial runs with just the right allergy medication I think we have a winner! So that, along with the tubes, is a go! As a mommy, it is so vital to your peace to find something that WORKS for any and all circumstances. I know we have a million hurdles to go, but that one has been jumped. Speaking of, while we are talking about victories, that boy, after what seemed like 3 months of non-stop spankings, is FINALLY staying in his bed like a champ. He is just not the kid that is going to obey without a fight. I have friends that say "oh my son, if you just mention the word spanking, he obeys". Well that sounds great and all and I pray fervently that the next ones are like that, but Cross seems to be a little more like "prove it to me". And we did! hahhahahha Also, a HUGE victory in the diaper rash area............milk allergy, yep, been on soy or almond for a few months now and not so much as even a hint of a rash! So many wins but before I sound annoyingly braggy, here is a note of "please pray for me, I am horrible at this". Cross is now a sponge for learning. He is counting and all kinds of crazy things now that he can talk and well, I'm not so good at all that. I can keep him clean and make him mind, but it is going to take some Holy Spirit influence for me to be good at sitting down with him several times a week and teaching him things. I like teaching the Bible to women, but a 2 year old colors.................well, I am just being honest! So please do pray for me! I don't dare want to miss a moment of growing that little brain for God's glory and it is NOT going to come natural, more like an act of the will! God's grace will be the ONLY way it will happen for certain!

And finally, me, you may be tired of reading by now so skip this part, the men in my life are for sure the most important. Where to start? Well, summer has arrived, Cross had his last day of school on Friday. I was a bit sad! All the moms in the parking lot seemed to be going in extra slow to get their kids. I am still working out some details about my summer work schedule and Cross' summer childcare schedule. God has given me a ton of peace because the futuristic planner in me doesn't do well with life being so up in the air. I guess considering this last year and a half, surely I can handle a little week of detail waiting! I am also working on all my details for my Ethiopia trip, shots, fundraising, need to start childcare details I guess too. I am very excited, but the reality of leaving my boys for 10 days has certainly hit. I can't help though but wonder if we have a baby girl there waiting? The Lord is speaking to me, but it seems to be best until it is all said and done to share. Otherwise a great amount of confusion could occur. Regardless I know there will be a glorious God story to come! I am certainly feeling the verse "more than we could have ever hoped or imagined". I love our life, sure I have days, but overall, I sit in awe of where the Lord has brought me. I do feel like He is showing me that it will be next year before we will be in our home of our own, but I think that too will be so much more than what I could of dreamed that it will be worth the wait. So all in all things are good. I have been struggling with some fatigue problems, but I have had blood work and only lack one test and if all is good a simple supplement will help. I am becoming more practical in life by the minute. My hair cut is easier. I can't decide if I like my bathing suit, but I can't handle putting that back on the to-do list so it will have to do. Who really LIKES a bathing suit anyway? This is a funny side note, but I have also joined the skirt club in the bathing suit department and our next vehicle purchase is most certainly going to be a mini van! I am fully embracing this thing called motherhood. No I am NOT going to wear jean skirts or pj's all day, but there are some things that I am not pridefully bucking anymore! This is truly becoming the greatest joy of my life and that is a good feeling. This cooperate working woman has for certain had the life change of a century, but by God's grace it is becoming more and more natural by the second!

Well, I just scrolled up and realized I now have a 5 page post so I better say so-long! I love you guys! I am so thankful we are on this Jesus journey together! I am so thankful He makes life worth living and trails worth having! They bring about fruit my friends and although I have a LONG way to go, I most certainly think I have come a long way even just this last year! Jesus, it is all by your grace and for your glory! Keep praying for me and I will do the same for you!

K

Save the Date................

Hello friends and family, I feel like a total stranger! Often we can avoid those who we have not spoken with in forever because we know the catch up time will involve hours. I had that same reservation today as I logged on, but as much as I don't want to miss a single Praise Jesus detail, life has just been crazy, but crazy in a good way. For so much of last year I constantly felt at a stand still. We had no extra funds which so often felt like no life. I feel that season has most certainly passed and the thrilling joy of having a life has most certainly unleashed. Now I am praying that I won't have so much of a life that I miss living. Speaking of that, I went to a glorious Senior Salute for a sweet High School Graduate friend of mine the other night and I was bombarded with the message of Seizing the Day with your sweet babies. All you moms of little ones, it was heart wrenching thinking about being a mom of a "big one". Let's all seize the day! I think I have kissed Cross even more in the past 24 hours than ever before. To think of him walking across a stage receiving so much more than a silly diploma was almost more than I could bare! I'm sticking with fits and such and rocking that sweet baby as long as he will let me!


I came on to say hello, but also to have a bit of a "Save the Date" request with my hometown girls (and guys if you are out there)! Know I love you dearly far-from-here readers, these are just a few fun times that I must share with the ones from around here! First and foremost, I have a dear friend who is obeying a vision from the Lord and having what she calls a Praise Jesus Party! She has been so floored and honored by His great work and mercy over these past few years in her own life and she knows others feel the same! I personally am most excited because the party is being held on Pentecost (this coming Sunday)! How cool that her church is honoring the day that religion was ushered out and Relationship was ushered in through the Holy Spirit!! The event will be held at Madison Street United Methodist Church at 5 p.m. on Sunday. If you are interested and need more details or want me to save you a seat, please just shoot me an email at bullockfamily77@gmail.com.


Next is what I will call "A Good Excuse!" I personally could eat Chick-fil-a everyday of my life. I have shared my love for that place with you guys before, but this is just another GREAT excuse to justify having a night of no cooking, no cleaning, no begging your kids to please eat their vegetables AND you would be supporting my trip to Ethiopia, all in one swift swoop! Chick-fil-a on Madison Street has been SO kind to offer me a night of support this coming Wednesday the 26th of May from 5-8p.m. I will have details about my trip and the hubs and son will be joining me. All you have to do is come and let the order-taker know that you are there for "Kelly's Trip" and I will receive a portion of the proceeds. I will also be taking donations for my immunisations which is NO small fee and probably NOT covered by insurance! What a glorious blessing this opportunity is and to the Blevins I say thank you, thank you for having such generous, giving, and Christ centered hearts! What an honor to call you friends!


And finally, the Hope Pregnancy Center's Annual Mother/Daughter Tea is in a few short weeks. Details can be found at http://www.friendsofclarksvillehope.com/events.php and know that it is not just for Mothers and Daughters ONLY, it can be for any great gal friends to enjoy!

So that's it my fellow friends. I pray that you will pull out your calendar's right now and SAVE THE DATES! I love you all and until next time when I promise to attempt to really catch up, have a glorious week following Jesus!!!!!!!!!


K

He..............................

Passed!!! He passed! He passed! He passed! No time to chat, at work, but had to share! Love you! Thank you for your prayers!

K

Moms.......................

Hello everyone and a special hello to all of the Moms or Moms-to-be or Moms wanting-to-be that are reading! Please know that so often I get on and vent like crazy about my little guy, but tonight as he "snuck" Percy (the train in case you have girls or no clue who that is) into bed, I have never been so madly in love in all my life. If there is one thing this Mother (with a love language of touch) will never lack on giving is kisses! I sometimes cannot contain myself with that sweet little boy! He is saying the cutest things these days. Side note: We think we are seeing some speech improvement already, but it is so hard to discern between natural progression, wishful thinking and the tubes making a real difference. He says, fas car and gets so excited that he can hardly stand himself. Jeremy also has him going over ALL of his colors, like 15 of them, and he repeats every single one! I couldn't believe it! Speaking of that sweet man, he is one great Daddy and one good looking husband. I happen to be very in love with him right now so by all means I must brag away! He has started his new job and takes his big test soon so please pray lots! That is the last major hurdle!!!!!

Ok, where was I, oh yes, the point was MOMS! You guys see those two cards above, you are never going to believe this but I opened the mail yesterday and two friends had sent me the EXACT same card and they arrived on the EXACT same day! What a sweet gift to show me how truly blessed I am! I have the best friends in all the world and I never ever want to take that for granted! So Delilah and Emily LA, you have no clue how that brightened my day and how much I love the both of you and think you are the greatest moms ever! Em I swear if you make one more adorable cupcake thingy I will have to refrain from reading your blog and D your on-fire passion for the Lord and desire to mother your babies to the best of your ability is absolutely contagious!

So to all the moms out there, I say a GREAT JOB and KEEP STRIVING! Someone told me today in joking, "But Kelly no one lives in the perfect world" and I said back "I know, but can't we at least try to go visit". In all seriousness, the Bible does call us to strive and the even better part is that He offers us the power and the grace to get there! So let's use this day as a blessing and as a recharge! Let's shepherd those butts and see glorious results as we show our children the Gospel! Let's go play and leave our phones in the house and look forward to a summer filled with memories in the making. Let's look past all the ways our lives are not perfect or what we would like them to be and let's build into our kids in hopes that their's will be a bit more paved in grace! Let's be the moms God has called us to be and beat the punk who coined the "screw UP" condemnation we are constantly facing! I love you all!!!!!!

Happy Mother's Day!

Kelly

Nothing makes sense...................

Good Morning Blog World. I come to you this a.m. with a very sober attitude and heart. I have hesitated to blog because it seems impossible to get on and "chitty chat" while so many in the Middle Tennessee area are experiencing such massive loss and damage. I have heard so many stories this week, just little tidbits here and there, that have made life moving on seem down right wrong for us and more important, impossible for others. I wanted to include a photo to give you a tiny taste of what is going on in our city alone. In case you are an out-of-towner, we experienced record levels of rain this past Saturday and Sunday. With that rain and a state full of major rivers and lakes, the flooding has been more than anyone could have conceived. We are about 40 minutes Northwest of Nashville, the area hit the greatest. Pictures of Nashville have such a striking resemblance to Katrina that it is most eerie. The picture above is a small snap shot of our "Riverside" area. There is a grave amount of damage that is not shown to the "left" of the photo, but this gives you an idea! So needless to say, our community and surrounding areas could use your prayers. It is even more surreal when you know the people who own these businesses and were building the marina. It is (and should be) so hard for those of us who live in unharmed areas to even go about our days without feeling utterly guilt stricken that the greatest inconvenience for us at the moment is having to take a detour downtown. Pray that we, as the body of Christ, pull together in a mighty way and show this town His love, His grace, and His mercy through our efforts to rebuild! May anything satan meant for harm, all be used for His good!

Last night as I sat in church for a night of prayer and worship, a pastor from Nashville spoke and I thought to myself, "I finally have the words to post a blog". He said, "Nothing makes sense..............without the Gospel". You see, why does our nature seem to war against us, because even it groans for the returning of our Savior. Why did Adam and Eve sin in that garden, because God gave us the chance at free will instead of the demand of loving robots. Why did anything get spared and the rain stop, because of God's covenant with Noah. And why do all things work together for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose, because of the Cross. You see, without Jesus, nothing does make sense. But with Him, this horrific catastrophe along with the millions of others that seem to be occurring day after day after day are proof of even an earth that groans for a Savior and a God who was so gracious to send One! Let's pray that through this, people who would have normally gone about their everyday lives without a care in the world, will now see their vast need for a Savior. Pray that redemption comes in this land, but more importantly in the hearts of us sinners!

God even today, you are faithful and worthy of our praise! You are the only reason hopeless situations do in fact have hope! You are the only reason that what looks impossible is not! You are the only reason that we can look at a situation like this and see any chance of good following its footprint. Nothing makes sense..................without YOU!

Kelly