How I "feel" about Parenting!

Please know on the front end that I am fully aware that the word FEEL in this post title as well as in this situation is the basic problem of it all. BUT here me say, I am having a hard time shaking these FEELINGS so if anyone has any advice, by all means, share away! Jeremy brought home an awesome book on families and we have been reading it together at night and it has convicted me. It talks about how as a society we don't look at children as a gift from God any more, but as an annoyance. Well, many days, that mind set is so true for me personally. I swing from one ball of hormones with the motherly instinct of an animal, wanting another baby to fill our home, loving the pitter patter of baby feet. Then I go to the other end of the spectrum which is a mom who wants to scream at the top of her lungs, "for the love of God, DON'T do it". That may sound a bit extreme, but I can promise you for me personally, that last statement is a bit mild. I am giving you the rated G version of my thought life.

Take right now for instance, last week we didn't have school, so mom lagged on the nap schedule, well this week we are back in school and we either have a kid screaming in the crib that won't take a nap or a kid who is up yet pitching a fit about EVERYTHING! Now, let me give you the opposite glimmer, this a.m. when I was getting ready, I peeked into the living room and saw Cross smirk and when he knew that the hair dryer was going off and I was coming in for the chase, he dropped to the floor like a ton of bricks to "hide" from me and I was so in love I didn't think I could contain myself. Yesterday, as he pitched some God awful fits in the middle of public and the road, I wanted to just curl in a ball and cry when thinking of all the work ahead, yet at 2 a.m. when he was sneezing a bit and I went to check on him and saw him attempting to cover his little nose as he sneezed, I wanted to jump feet first in the crib with him and cuddle up for the night! So, with all of this said, I FEEL SICK AND TIRED OF BEING A MOM TODAY! And then I feel like the scum of the earth for saying that when their are dear friends in my life that would kill to have this same problem! I am just trying to be honest here! I am putting some fun pics of Cross to remind me that I really am madly in love with him and that when I slack I pay so I need to buck up and do a better job while still realizing that he is just that, a kid! Love you guys and thanks for allowing the rant!

Feelings cannot be trusted!!!!!!!!
Kelly